Raise your hand if you had a vampire crush (or still do)

Let me introduce myself: my name is Sheila, and I'm a recovering love addict (waves hand; says, "hello"). It's been 4 months and 14 days since I was last "swept off my feet." (Snickers heard in audience). If this sounds all too familiar, it is because you, too, have been raised with the desire to let your feelings of temptation get the better of you, and have allowed your emotions to take control.

For me, vampires "did it."

As a girl growing up in Southern California, I had my fair share of sunny days, hot surfer guys to admire, and malls to hang out at to fit in with the youth. But somehow, from my pre-pubescent years, I remember having a strange obsession with Dracula, vampires, and movies about men luring women with a stare and sucking their blood dry. Well, the last part sounds like your average man, but let's talk about vampires for now.

I remember reading Dracula by Bram Stoker, and rooting for Dracula (the evil villain) to win Mina's heart in the end. Now, as an adult, I would wish Van Helsing to slay the beast, and for Jonathon Harker to "save" her from a world of darkness. After all, vampires are like blood-sucking zombies, are they not?

My fantasies of lustful men didn't end with books. I watched any and every movie I could that had vampires as the theme. I loved watching Roman Polanski try to save his real-life wife, Sharon Tate, in The Fearless Vampire Killers, or Pardon Me, But Your Teeth Are in My Neck. Too bad he couldn't swing into action with her in real life when the Manson clan came to visit.

So here I was: a mother of three, married to a gorgeous guy for over 15 years, and all I had to do was watch "Twilight," and back I was to my teenage "gaga" stage of swooning. Why am I so easily swayed, and what is the attraction?

Let me explain.

Women want the ecstasy of love, romance and lust all in one. We want a man to look deep into our eyes and without words, say, "I want you--now!" Is that wrong? I don't think so. If we are all honest with ourselves, we would admit that we all (yes, even you, men) want lust and temptation to take the lead and be swept away by emotions in the bedroom, kitchen, laundry room over the dryer, the bathroom stall of your community meeting center, the inspiration point of your town-- wherever it may roam.

Vampires represent temptation, lust, and letting your inhibitions go. It's like your brain on alcohol, and over-drive, with the bad boy in town.... who sucks blood nonetheless.

In conclusion: am I wrong for wanting to have the evil side of a man with good intentions? Even Edward Cullen avoided feeding on people, and settled for farm animals. OK, so I'm rationalizing. But let's be honest: any woman who has a "thing" for vampires, whether it was in their teenage years, or even now, it comes from a good place. We want to be desired, wanted, and swept off our feet--regardless of losing our mortal lives in the process. Hey, if I'm being honest, I lost that part by being in a toxic marriage for too long, so it can't be all guilty.

For all of you die-hard vampire fans out there: you're not alone. I still watch these teenage "young adult fantasy-fiction" stories played out, and my heart still skips a beat. I guess that's a good sign: No vampire has sucked the life out of me yet, cause I'm still alive.

Hopefully, I will stay that way if another bozo comes into my life, and is an emotional vampire waiting to suck the life out of me. By now, I should be able to see that he has no reflection in the mirror, and I will slay him with a stake to the heart. Or just avoid him all together by not inviting him into my home. If you were a huge fan like me, then you'll know the vampire etiquette.

But either way, I love a good vampire movie. Stay tuned for the next haunting tale of love addiction from yours, truly. Until we meet again, keep a necklace of garlic around your neck, and a vile of holy water on your nightstand-- just in case. Don't forget the condoms, in case the vampire is a smoldering hot guy!