Sex and Filth - A Scientific Study

This is a topic raised by one of my cherished Hub readers who declared vehemently in a comment regarding Pamela Anderson's Celebrity Roast that "Filth is never appropriate." At first my instinct was to laugh and laugh and laugh until I had a hernia or popped a blood vessel or something, but then I thought about it more deeply. Is filth truly never appropriate? What is filth? Do we need filth ? Could filth, in fact, be the life's blood of our existence? The original commenter is not available for further comment, so I've taken it upon myself to investigate this filthy phenomenon for the benefit of mankind, and possibly the Universe itself.

Let's pretend that this is a vaguely scientific investigation. It's not really, because I'm not wearing a lab coat, which is the internationally accepted definition of a scientific investigation, but I do wear spectacles on occasion, so I think that will lend my work some credence at least.

Firstly, I've divided filth into two main categories:

Sexual Material

This is often referred to as pornography. Watching people engage in sex acts is often considered to be filthy, whereas watching animals engage in sex acts, well, that's generally not so much of an issue, unless of course, the person watching the animals engaging in the sex acts (for example, flies rutting on the window), becomes aroused by it, at which point in time, the "filth factor" is invoked.

Naughty Words

Naughty words tend to be the other major "filth" that people complain of. The "F" word is especially frowned upon, and generally edited out of quotes when used by the mainstream media. Other words that are very much social taboos are the ones that refer to female and male genitalia. In a sense, it may have been incorrect to separate the naughty words from the sexual material, as it would appear that the problem with the words is that they refer to sexual acts, or genitalia.

To express this as an equation, (after all, this is a scientific study)

Sex = Filth,

or if you'd like the inverse equation,

Filth = Sex

Sexual expression is something that is taboo in our Western Society, so much so that one can be insulting, filthy, and vulgar simply by making reference to it. We can shock and disgust others in our presence simply by mentioning a body part in a certain manner. This is generally only effective with parts of the body that are regarded as sexual in nature. There are few recorded instances of anyone becoming particularly offended by being called a nose, or a knee, or an elbow, or .... you get my drift.

How odd that the essential, endlessly enjoyable act that propagates the species and has ensured that we have become the dominant species on the planet should hold such a base position in the eyes of some (or perhaps, many).

If we pause to ponder just a little, it becomes evident that sexual activity is the act of ultimate creation. From it, new lives are born. At its zenith, the material of two people intermingles in a seamless dance that takes place deep within the body of the lover, and is woven with all nature's care into the next generation.

Yet for some reason, if we watch the sex act to 80's synthesizer music, or if we decide to enjoy ourselves by observing the sexual enjoyment of others, or if we make expletive reference to it, then we have crossed the line into the "filth zone".

There are some occasions in which sexual activity is not filthy. Most do not find marital relations to be filthy, because they are conducted in a private and socially acceptable setting. Once again, how odd that there should be such a great amount of social pressure surrounding the issue of sexuality and its expression. If the sex act is filthy in front of several cameras and a crew, how does it really become any less filthy behind closed doors? Why are we so ashamed of sex that we look down upon those who express their sexualities freely, and can be easily shocked and embarrassed by 'crude' and 'filthy' references to it? Why have we given those words such power?

The initial question has given rise to many others, but never fear, as with all good scientific studies, there are findings, presented in the form of a little poem for your enjoyment.

The findings:

From filth we are created.

In filth we participate (or at least try our best to)

In filth some die (and we generally consider them to be the lucky ones)