Tears of Laughter, Tears of Pain!!

I wonder sometimes how many tears I have cried over my lifetime. If measured would it be gallons or more? Crying can be good for you. When Lady Di was killed I stayed up all night and watched the funeral. I cried the whole time. But you know it was funny, when the crying stopped I felt cleansed, refreshed, I could breath. Why is that? I think that we have a build up in us that we really do not realize. Kind of like dust that just keeps piling up til we wipe it clean and it looks all new again. But then of course we know that it soon builds up again. I think it's the same with our tears.

We cry because we are happy, sad, in pain, depressed, scared, or sorry. We cry watching movies, reading books, heart to heart talks or even listening to music. There are many other reasons I am sure, but I guess these are the main reasons. I know I have cried for all these reasons. I have come to a point in my life where I am tired of crying. I am tired of shedding tears of pain and sorrow. I know that this is part of life, but I am so tired. Oh it makes me feel better at times, but for the most part it just wears me out. I hate that feeling that wells up inside me and fighting it, only to fall apart later.

I have asked myself, ' what good does it do?' It solves nothing, it makes my eyes red and puffy, makes my nose run, and it makes me want to just lay down and go to sleep so I don't cry anymore. And oh it is so hard to smile through the tears, when your heart is breaking. I have done this many times, hold back those tears and smile, til I get alone and the waterfall begins. I had a neighbor that cried for days. It broke my heart and I remember saying to myself I never want that to happen to me, Thank goodness it hasn't. My mom went to the E.R. because she couldn't stop crying. They gave her a sedative and she was better.

What is it that does that to some of us ? Overwhelming grief, some secret that we hold inside that eats away at us, or is it that accumulation of emotions that just gets to overflowing and we just cannot stop it from pouring out of us? It has been a long time since I cried happy tears. When my son graduated after 10 years of being Home Schooled we had our family and friends around us as I handed him his diploma. There wasn't a dry eye in the backyard that day. I guess the last happy tears I cried was when I got to carry my little grandson to the nursery when he was born 4 1/2 years ago. What a night! Absolute tears of joy for the beautiful new life I held in my arms.

I have cried over the littlest things since I was a small girl. My Dad thought something was wrong with me. There was and is nothing wrong with me. I have a soft heart and much compassion for my fellow human beings and for the innocent creatures of this world, for those who are sick and those who are abused, for those who need love and for those who don't know how to love, for senseless death and for needless suffering. I have cried over the joys and pains watching my sons grow up. Over the loss of friends and family. To many tears have rolled down my cheeks.

Yes I still cry, I don't want to, most times I don't like too. But I get overwhelmed and many times I cannot help myself. But we were made that way for a reason. Maybe to bring us to our knees, to cleanse our spirits or maybe our tears are like the relief valve on a water heater, we cry to relieve the pressures inside of us. Whatever the reasons, I am sure it is suppose to be good for us in times of pain, joy or sorrow. My tears have been many for untold reasons and I am sure there will be many more tears. But for now I just want to smile and laugh for all the good things and about the many good people in my life. What do you cry about?


Comments 31 comments

sligobay profile image

sligobay 6 years ago from east of the equator

Too many teardrops for one heart to be crying.... was a popular lyric back in the day. Frankie Vali of the Four Seasons sang "Big girls don't cry"....And yet, crying is cathartic and cleansing as you point out. Inconsolable grief and protracted crying present symptoms of depression and may require medical intervention as you described. As a boy, I was gender hardened against crying and my sensitivity was criticized. I wouldn't trade my empathy for others for the Queen's Jewels! More tears have escaped these lacrimal ducts than I care to mention. I say better too many than too few. Cheers,or tears,laughs,sighs or cries evidence our humanity.

singlmomat52 profile image

singlmomat52 6 years ago Author

Very well put and nice to see a man admit his tears, we are only human and were built, man and woman, with tear ducts. There is nothing wrong with a man crying, to me it shows he is a real man. Thank you for stopping in and for your wonderful comment.

Specialk3749 profile image

Specialk3749 6 years ago from Michigan

I can be brought to tears very easily. Sometimes just a thought, memory or song will bring me to tears. I will almost always be in tears if someone else starts to cry. Sometimes this is so embarrasing, but like you said, it is cleansing. I am also easily brought to laughter and it is just as cleansing...I would rather do that! lol

singlmomat52 profile image

singlmomat52 6 years ago Author

I agree SpecialK, I would much rather laugh!! And you are right it can be very cleansing to have a good laugh. Thanks for reading my Hub and for your great comment!!

RunAbstract profile image

RunAbstract 6 years ago from USA

I can SO relate to this article! I too am a softie, and cry over things on TV, articles in Readers Digest, when I'm happy, or sad. I was up all night after John Lennon was murdered, listening to his music and bawling like a baby in fits and starts.

I love knowing that we are human enough to indulge in these soft emotions. I think to suppress an emotion is to suppress all emotions. So to not cry when the emotion strikes us, I think would lead, also, to less laughter.

Great article!

singlmomat52 profile image

singlmomat52 6 years ago Author

RunAbstract ~ Very good point. I think that some that do not cry really harden their hearts and yes this also means that they cannot laugh either. Very sad, I say God bless them. Thank you for stopping in and taking the time to read my Hub and for your nice comment.

Dim Flaxenwick profile image

Dim Flaxenwick 6 years ago from Great Britain

That was awesome., like you were baring your soul.....and connecting with all of us.I love your whole attitude to life, I understand the feeling of I've done enough crying for more than one lifetime....but you are a gem. you really are. Thank you so much for this one. god bless.x

singlmomat52 profile image

singlmomat52 6 years ago Author

Thank you Dim!!!! I always look forward to your comments. I am so glad you liked this hub, and as for your kind words I am humbled!! Some say I am to nice, I feel to deeply, I will not apologize for that. That is who I am and I am proud of the spirit God has placed in me. Thank you again and God bless you as well!!


brightforyou profile image

brightforyou 6 years ago from Florida

Hi singlemom52 - I think its wonderful that you are so open to life's pains and joys. Tears are SO GOOD for you! Both tears of joy and tears of pain bring release and set our souls free. I loved your hub, thank you.

singlmomat52 profile image

singlmomat52 6 years ago Author

Thank you so much brightforyou!! It is always nice to hear other hubbers comments. I do appreciate yous!!

ahorseback profile image

ahorseback 6 years ago

Singlemom, I can understand why you cry at the drop of a hat, you are so compassionate. Its reflected in your words. Always heartfelt , and very welcome too ,Amazing isn't it , most men seem to hide from tears .Voted up!

singlmomat52 profile image

singlmomat52 6 years ago Author

Yes ahorseback most men do seem to hide from tears, they think it sissyish I suppose. That is very unfortunate, I think if more men dealt honestly with their feelings we wouldn't have so much domestic abuse in this old world. Even the shortest Scripture in the Bible conveys that it is okay to cry, after all the King of Kings did, John 11:35 ' Jesus Wept.' Thanks for your nice comment and the thumbs up!!

prasetio30 profile image

prasetio30 6 years ago from malang-indonesia

My friend, this is the fact and reality of life. We can't separate this in our life. I agree with you that tears also fallen when we sad even in happy time, right. How to strengthen our heart when this happen to us, Just pray enough. I believe God know about this and lead the way. Very inspiring hub. Thanks for share with us.


singlmomat52 profile image

singlmomat52 6 years ago Author

Thank you for your heartfelt comment and for stopping in to read my Hub. And you are right it strengthens our hearts and our spirits. Thanks again!!

Eiddwen profile image

Eiddwen 6 years ago from Wales

Loved this hub and on a subject very close to my heart. Up until about 10 years ago I had not cried for years, I couldn't because I had learnt as a little girl that crying did not help or change things. However I lost my only sister eleven years, this spurred me on to leave my abusive partner of 26 years and slowly did learn to let those tears out!! Tragically last year I lost my beautiful youngest daughter and while I will never be one to cry at television programmes or such I am able to cry and we should all be able to do this. I have written a tribute to my daughter 'My Beautiful Little Girl'and closely related to this one 'FROM THIS MOMENT ON' if you have a few moments to spare maybe you would like to read.I am looking forward to reading more of your work! I am going to bookmark this hub. God bless.

singlmomat52 profile image

singlmomat52 6 years ago Author

Many little ones are told what you were told. I am so sorry for that. I raised my boys to know that it is ok to cry. We are only human!!! I am so very sorry about your sister and you daughter. How very hard that must have been for you. I will read your hubs and I thank you for inviting me to read them. God bless and thank you for your comment and for stopping in to read my Hub!!

James A Watkins profile image

James A Watkins 6 years ago from Chicago

I enjoyed your fine Hub here. The older I get the more I cry. You do have a soft heart. I can tell that about you. There is plenty to cry about in this world. And I agree with you that it is a cleansing.

singlmomat52 profile image

singlmomat52 6 years ago Author

Hello James!! Thank you for stopping and for your very nice comment. I believe that as men get more mature and out of their tough guy years, they do let themselves feel and from to time let the tears flow. Take care and nice to see you!! Thanks again!

Micky Dee profile image

Micky Dee 6 years ago

As I get older it is too easy for me to cry. There. I've said it. I'm 61 and can cry over a poem. There has been sadness to overflow the rivers. Cleansed and spent at the same time. God bless!

singlmomat52 profile image

singlmomat52 6 years ago Author

Yes Micky I hear what you are saying and it is very brave of you to admit that you cry. I think that is awesome. I have seen my sons cry as grown men and it still breaks my heart as it did when they were little. Thank you stopping in. Glad you enjoyed my Hub, Thank you for your comment!!

elayne001 profile image

elayne001 6 years ago from Rocky Mountains

Maybe you can take Prozac - just a suggestion - I took it for a year and it makes you feel nothing! no sadness, no happiness, nothing. I got off it and now I can feel again and cry from trivial things.I think I would rather feel my emotions than have them be muted by drugs though.

singlmomat52 profile image

singlmomat52 6 years ago Author

No thank you, no prozac for me!!! I hope that you are happy now and enjoying your life!! Thanks for reading and for your comment!!

Justsilvie 6 years ago

Wonderful Hub. I went through the last few years rarely shedding a tear and am happy to say the tears are back. To me tears of joy are wonderful and tears of sadness are cleansing I am glad I am able to cry again.

singlmomat52 profile image

singlmomat52 6 years ago Author

I have cried so much I try my best not to anymore. I am glad that you are able to cry again, tears are good to a point. I hope you are well and enjoying Hubpages. Thanks for your comment.

drpastorcarlotta profile image

drpastorcarlotta 6 years ago from BREAKOUT MINISTRIES, INC. KC

I love this Hub! Tears are good even in a bad situation, it release stress and comforts the heart and mind. I voted-up on this Hub! GREAT!!!

singlmomat52 profile image

singlmomat52 6 years ago Author

Thank you drpastorcarlotta, I enjoy your hubs as well!! I do cry less these days and grateful for it. Thanks for stopping in and for your comment!! blessings!!

fred allen profile image

fred allen 6 years ago from Myrtle Beach SC

"Jesus wept" This is the shortest verse in the bible and to me the most profound. He did not weep because Lazurus had died, He knew He was going to raise him. He wept because He felt the pain that Mary and Martha felt. It was their love and pain that moved God to tears. When we hurt, He hurts. If we are to be like Him we will feel the pain of others. There is the story of a little girl who went to the market for her mother. She took much too long in coming back. Mother therefore demanded an explantion when she finally did return. The little girl explained that on her way she met a little friend who was crying because she had broken her doll.

"Oh" said the mother "then you stopped to help her fix her doll?"

"Oh no," replied the little girl.

"I stopped to help her cry."

You remind me of her.

singlmomat52 profile image

singlmomat52 6 years ago Author

I have read the Bible and know of this verse. And you are right He feels our pain and He knows every tear that we cry. But I think He hears our heart cry more than He sees the tears. He knows our hearts even better than we know it. I also have heard this story of the little girl and I thank you for your unexpected comment. Again I cried. It always touches my heart deeply when people see me in ways I do not see myself. Thank you so much for your fan mail message and for reading my Hubs, and for your comments. Blessings!!

sligobay profile image

sligobay 5 years ago from east of the equator

I return and see that I was the first to comment on your Hub and reiterate what I said then, " It is better to cry too many tears, than too few." Your kind empathy should never seek to be hardened.

singlmomat52 profile image

singlmomat52 5 years ago Author

thank you for your comment. it is always nice to open my e-mail and see that someone has read one of my Hubs. Thank you stopping in. I have not been on in a while and I do miss everyone. Thanks again!!

denden mangubat profile image

denden mangubat 3 years ago from liloan, cebu, philippines

You are a compassionate mom.You are possessed i am very sure.

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