The Absolute Worst of The Worst Come-on Lines
The Bible teaches
that the Devil can appear as a "wolf in sheep's clothing." That is very true. But so is this a truism: "sleazy" men, pick-up artists can appear in the same fashion.
Don't believe me? Frequent any bar in any city you choose on any given night and there you will witness all types of men--old, young, rich, poor, desperate and lonely, trying their best acting and choosing just the right phrases to get some poor single (or unhappy married woman) to go home with him so he can take advantage of her.
We call this type of man a "jerk."
Let's say for instance this guy used the old tried and untrue line, "uhh, I was in the Marines a few years ago. It was awful. I don't want to talk about it." And this poor unsuspecting girl bought the line clear-down to her last cent.
Poor girl. This guy never darkened the door of any branch of the Armed Forces. But he borrows his older brother's military uniforms when he is lonely and needs female companionship for a night or two.
This "Marine's" line about being in the military is one of the most-used, and one of the worst come-on lines in the history of men. My question is when will women wake-up and learn when a guy is only saying things like this to get her to have sex with him?
For years, and I have hubs to prove it, I have held all women in the highest levels of respect. I personally disavow such jerks who only use women for sexual purposes. They are not an icon that represents us guys who DO appreciate women as persons. Not breeding objects.
Other Vintage Come-on Lines from the Past
am an ex Navy SEAL
I am a wealthy male model. I am on the current issue of GQ
I own my own female modeling agency, and babe, you have potential
I just love kittens
Here are more Worst of The Worst Come-on Lines
BABY, I LOVE YOUR HAIR and the way it smells. (the jerk-o leans over and starts sniffing the girl's hair.) This wouldn't be so bad if they knew each other, but they just met in a dark barroom.
DO I FAVOR TOM SELLECK some girls actually think Tom and I are brothers.
HEY, AREN'T YOU JESSICA ALBA this is an all-too classic line that sometimes "hooks" the gullible girls who aren't familiar with "sleazy" snakes, the men who prey on young and innocent girls. Hey, if you are a girl who fits this description, stay clear of strange men who claim that you look like a famous film star. And if you do look like Jessica Alba, would you spend a night with a jerk?
I KNOW BRAD PITT PERSONALLY sure he does. He lopes into this club dressed like a bum--not shaven, showered, or wearing any deodorant. Yeah, he knows Mr. Pitt. But do not be too hasty. He might know Brad Pitt. As his gardener. But do stay away from Brad's pal.
I TAME BEARS FOR A LIVING girls, if a stupid stumble bum says this to you, just reply, "show me," and suddenly he will find excuses to leave.
WANT TO HEAR ME SING I can sing just like Brett Michaels and I used to fill-in for him when his group, Poison, was on tour. Again, say, "baby, show me. Sing "Every Rose Has a Thorn," right here in front of us all." and like the bear tamer, he will vanish.
YOU MUST BE A FAMOUS MODEL let's have some dinner and you come to my plush apartment and model some designs I am working on. Yeah, a famous female clothing model is going to be hanging-out in a place called, "Marty's Beer Jugs and Wings," on a Saturday night.
WHAT TIME TO YOU HAVE I lost my Rolex in the Grand Prix of Italy last night and I am supposed to be Robert Downey, Jr. here in a while. See that? Two worst come-on lines at one time. This guy is a smooth-talking liar to be so brave as to try and "get you in the sack" by using two lines. Beware of guys like this.
DON'T TELL ANYONE, BUT I own this bar. Yeah, baby, I am all for the finer things in life, so go with me to dinner, and I'll set you up in my next bar location as owner. Okay. This guy is dressed in an goodwill clothing leisure suit with his hair styled like the late Sonny Bono and he "owns" a bar. Yeah. Sure. He is a bar owner, but explain why his credit card was denied when he tried to use it to pay for his $2.00 beer.
MY NAME IS "FELIPE CORLEIONE" and I am a famous world-wide freelance photographer. I am looking for only one model who looks like you. I pay my models over $600.00 and hour. Are you interested?
Besides Words and Phrases, Here's how to spot a guy who uses Worst of The Worst Come-on Lines . . .
- Out of style wardrobe--leisure suit, Nehru jackets and two-tone shoes
- Food is stuck in his teeth. No personal appearance ethics
- Hair is not styled by a pro, but the guy's sister
- Grease from an auto engine is stuck underneath his fingernails
- His shades are off-brand
- He pays for dinner and drinks with a check, not a credit card
- When he speaks to people (to impress you), they sneer at him
- He never makes eye contact with you for he is afraid you will remember that he asked you out in the same fashion last week
- He acts like he loves animals, but cringes when your pet dog, "Pinky," a Toy Poodle, you carry with you everywhere, smells of his shoes and bites him
- He has a bad habit of smelling like cigarettes
Girls, if you are out with your girlfriends after a tough week and end up in a club . . .
YOU HAVE NOTHING (EVEN JERKS) TO FEAR.
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