The Absolute Worst of The Worst Come-on Lines

"Mr. Old Man Rounder," lies to girls about his wealth, but truith be told he is flat broke
"Mr. Old Man Rounder," lies to girls about his wealth, but truith be told he is flat broke | Source
Lazy guy only wants to sleep with girls then never leave their apartment
Lazy guy only wants to sleep with girls then never leave their apartment | Source
"Mr. Jailbird," who would say anything to a girl for a night of passion
"Mr. Jailbird," who would say anything to a girl for a night of passion | Source
The ogler who looks all females up and down
The ogler who looks all females up and down | Source
A cheap guy who loves cheap girls
A cheap guy who loves cheap girls | Source
He's only with her for sex and that's it
He's only with her for sex and that's it | Source
He tells girls at his office they are "dolls," in hopes to get a date with them
He tells girls at his office they are "dolls," in hopes to get a date with them | Source
Harasses female help by telling them "work hard and I'll take you out"
Harasses female help by telling them "work hard and I'll take you out" | Source
On top of boozing and taking drugs, he is a total jerk
On top of boozing and taking drugs, he is a total jerk | Source

The Bible teaches

that the Devil can appear as a "wolf in sheep's clothing." That is very true. But so is this a truism: "sleazy" men, pick-up artists can appear in the same fashion.

Don't believe me? Frequent any bar in any city you choose on any given night and there you will witness all types of men--old, young, rich, poor, desperate and lonely, trying their best acting and choosing just the right phrases to get some poor single (or unhappy married woman) to go home with him so he can take advantage of her.

We call this type of man a "jerk."

Let's say for instance this guy used the old tried and untrue line, "uhh, I was in the Marines a few years ago. It was awful. I don't want to talk about it." And this poor unsuspecting girl bought the line clear-down to her last cent.

Poor girl. This guy never darkened the door of any branch of the Armed Forces. But he borrows his older brother's military uniforms when he is lonely and needs female companionship for a night or two.

This "Marine's" line about being in the military is one of the most-used, and one of the worst come-on lines in the history of men. My question is when will women wake-up and learn when a guy is only saying things like this to get her to have sex with him?

For years, and I have hubs to prove it, I have held all women in the highest levels of respect. I personally disavow such jerks who only use women for sexual purposes. They are not an icon that represents us guys who DO appreciate women as persons. Not breeding objects.


Other Vintage Come-on Lines from the Past

am an ex Navy SEAL

I am a wealthy male model. I am on the current issue of GQ

I own my own female modeling agency, and babe, you have potential

I just love kittens

Here are more Worst of The Worst Come-on Lines

BABY, I LOVE YOUR HAIR and the way it smells. (the jerk-o leans over and starts sniffing the girl's hair.) This wouldn't be so bad if they knew each other, but they just met in a dark barroom.


DO I FAVOR TOM SELLECK some girls actually think Tom and I are brothers.


HEY, AREN'T YOU JESSICA ALBA this is an all-too classic line that sometimes "hooks" the gullible girls who aren't familiar with "sleazy" snakes, the men who prey on young and innocent girls. Hey, if you are a girl who fits this description, stay clear of strange men who claim that you look like a famous film star. And if you do look like Jessica Alba, would you spend a night with a jerk?

I KNOW BRAD PITT PERSONALLY sure he does. He lopes into this club dressed like a bum--not shaven, showered, or wearing any deodorant. Yeah, he knows Mr. Pitt. But do not be too hasty. He might know Brad Pitt. As his gardener. But do stay away from Brad's pal.


I TAME BEARS FOR A LIVING girls, if a stupid stumble bum says this to you, just reply, "show me," and suddenly he will find excuses to leave.


WANT TO HEAR ME SING I can sing just like Brett Michaels and I used to fill-in for him when his group, Poison, was on tour. Again, say, "baby, show me. Sing "Every Rose Has a Thorn," right here in front of us all." and like the bear tamer, he will vanish.


YOU MUST BE A FAMOUS MODEL let's have some dinner and you come to my plush apartment and model some designs I am working on. Yeah, a famous female clothing model is going to be hanging-out in a place called, "Marty's Beer Jugs and Wings," on a Saturday night.


WHAT TIME TO YOU HAVE I lost my Rolex in the Grand Prix of Italy last night and I am supposed to be Robert Downey, Jr. here in a while. See that? Two worst come-on lines at one time. This guy is a smooth-talking liar to be so brave as to try and "get you in the sack" by using two lines. Beware of guys like this.


DON'T TELL ANYONE, BUT I own this bar. Yeah, baby, I am all for the finer things in life, so go with me to dinner, and I'll set you up in my next bar location as owner. Okay. This guy is dressed in an goodwill clothing leisure suit with his hair styled like the late Sonny Bono and he "owns" a bar. Yeah. Sure. He is a bar owner, but explain why his credit card was denied when he tried to use it to pay for his $2.00 beer.


MY NAME IS "FELIPE CORLEIONE" and I am a famous world-wide freelance photographer. I am looking for only one model who looks like you. I pay my models over $600.00 and hour. Are you interested?


Besides Words and Phrases, Here's how to spot a guy who uses Worst of The Worst Come-on Lines . . .

  1. Out of style wardrobe--leisure suit, Nehru jackets and two-tone shoes
  2. Food is stuck in his teeth. No personal appearance ethics
  3. Hair is not styled by a pro, but the guy's sister
  4. Grease from an auto engine is stuck underneath his fingernails
  5. His shades are off-brand
  6. He pays for dinner and drinks with a check, not a credit card
  7. When he speaks to people (to impress you), they sneer at him
  8. He never makes eye contact with you for he is afraid you will remember that he asked you out in the same fashion last week
  9. He acts like he loves animals, but cringes when your pet dog, "Pinky," a Toy Poodle, you carry with you everywhere, smells of his shoes and bites him
  10. He has a bad habit of smelling like cigarettes

Girls, if you are out with your girlfriends after a tough week and end up in a club . . .

YOU HAVE NOTHING (EVEN JERKS) TO FEAR.



Yes, he's old. But not about to die. He just says this to be with women he meets
Yes, he's old. But not about to die. He just says this to be with women he meets | Source

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Comments 6 comments

MsDora profile image

MsDora 2 years ago from The Caribbean

Humorous and funny simultaneously. Deserves serious attention from those who are vulnerable. Thank you.


lupine profile image

lupine 2 years ago from Southern California (USA)

Kenneth, good warning signs for women, in case they come across those type of guys. They have been warned... Have a Happy Valentine's Day with your loved ones, Kenneth!


catgypsy profile image

catgypsy 2 years ago from the South

Very funny! It's amazing that men still think lines will work!

Happy Valentine's Day Kenneth!


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 2 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

MsDora,

I hope you are doing well.

My sincere thanks to you for your comments on this hub. I cannot express in words how much I appreciate you.

Keep your great hubs coming too.

Kenneth


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 2 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

lupine, dear friend,

Thank you from my heart, for this and all of your kind words. And thank you for your friendship that also means the world to me and your following too.

I hope that you and I will remain in touch as HubPages is always changing in some way or the other and for us "just" high school grads, some changes are tough to deal with.

Have a peaceful day, my friend.


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 2 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

Dearest Catgypsy,

Thank you so much, again, for being my dear friend, confidant and mentor in the field of life.

I mean it.

Yes, some guys actually think these lines will work. But in all honesty, there are two lines that weren't around when I was available and if they were, what would you have said if I used them on you?

1. I do not have a pick-up line. I am sorry. I am what I am. Take me or leave me. I personally do not think that using pick-up lines is respectful toward women.

2. It should be a sin for a girl to be as pretty as you.

So what do you think?

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