The Online Dating Experience

Whether it is eharmony, Match, or any of the many online dating sites on the Internet, the pattern is similar and so are the results.

Most sites offer for a price, a profile to fill out consisting of what makes you tick or not. From whatever it is you write, the person viewing the profile has only a general idea. While eharmony is more thorough, the results are similar to Match or others. Naturally, those on the site looking for love, post photos. but even photos can be misleading either because they are too old and you have changed or because of bad lighting. Many make the stupid mistake of not posting a photo probably overly concerned about security.

Just as in real life, EVERYTHING with online dating\meeting is based on what you look like and whether there is a mutual attraction. It makes no difference if you are "clicking" via just writing back and forth and like their photo until you actually meet and greet over coffee. Until then, it is moot. Only meeting another will reveal what they really look like and whether the chemistry is there for both.

Many are overly cautious about this. Some either do not post a photo or provide much info about themselves to even attract a potential mate. Self-defeating. The same is true if you post a photo over 4-5 years old.

A long time ago, just when the Internet was happening, circa 1995, I had thought I was in love with a woman simply by our intense email conversations. It was amazing. The feeling was mutual. After we chatted on the phone, it felt even more real. There was chemistry, so I thought. Then, we finally agreed to meet. The photo she had provided was fine, so there was mutual attraction. Yet, after meeting her and spending most of a day with her, we both realized it was not going to work. The chemistry was lacking to some extent and even though we tried to force it by kissing and such, it simply did not "click" for either. Then came the inevitable bedroom situation at the hotel room. Again, we wanted to but since we knew we would not see each other again once I left, nothing happened.

So, the moral of online dating is that one should not waste much time with conversing using email or phone calls, even if you think the chemistry is there because the most critical element is the in person meeting.

The concern of security by revealing what you do, even your name, is just paranoia. There are so many people looking for a mate that everyday the subscriber gets another 10 matches to consider and contact. Eventually, it all becomes a chore and blur. Online dating is a great way to blow dead time. After awhile, all of the matches say similar things, their likes and such. There is only so much deviation. Then, you find one and send them an email, which they may not respond to because they are not attracted to you. Maybe they never saw the email.

I guess one should continue to go to clubs. If you are willing to meet strangers in a club, why not quickly agree to meet over coffee, assuming mutual attraction? Going back and forth with email chit chat is redundant and quickly becomes "old".

Meet in a public place and see what happens!