The proper way to apologize

Have you ever been on the receiving end of an apology that leaves you asking yourself, " what the hell was that?" My favorite apology is the one that starts with an " I'm sorry I, blah, blah, blah, but..." and usually ends with " but you knew I would blah, blah,blah." Basically, there is no apology, just and excuse for the bad behavior that lead to the so-called apology. I think most people don't understand what an apology is or means anymore.

The definition of apology according to Merriam Weber dictionary is; an admission of error or discourtesy accompanied by an expression of regret. That seems self explanatory yet for some it's un-comprehendable or perhaps no one taught them the art of a true apology.

For example; When you bump into someone by accident you say excuse me, pardon me or a simple I'm sorry. You don't say, " I'm sorry but you did walk in front of me." That would be rude and would only escalate into a confrontation of sorts. So why do some people feel the need to follow up an I'm sorry with an excuse for their not so nice behavior? Is it our need to seek approval or to exonerate the bad behavior. Either way, it's wrong.

When I was a kid, you said " I'm sorry," no explanations, no excuses! Could you imagine telling your mother you were sorry you cussed in front of her, but she really pissed you off. I would have been eating through a straw for a month If I tried that one. Sorry also used to mean, you wouldn't do it again. Now a-days sorries are thrown around like frizzbies. It holds no meaning other than to defend ones actions.

So, the next time you find your self apologizing, just say I'm sorry, mean it and don't do it again. With an apology comes forgiveness and you can't forgive an excuse!