Useful Things That “Football Widows” Can Do To Save Their Sanity and Marriage

Ladies, does this scene look familiar?
Ladies, does this scene look familiar?
This wife is sure having a "good time."
This wife is sure having a "good time."
She used to command his attention
She used to command his attention

(NOTE: This is not a comedy piece. This is a serious hub that I wanted to publish just to help the ladies in my readership who some people call “football windows.” I caution you as you read this short story, to keep in mind that I am not in support of a man, married or not, who ignores his wife or companion in or out of football season. Thank you. Kenneth)

I admire you, wives of men who are totally-addicted to football—be it high school, college, professional or Canadian. It doesn’t matter. Your men are hypnotized by the “pigskin,” every Saturday, Sunday, Monday night and now CBS has went as far as to further-insult you ladies even more by providing Thursday Night Football—if your men haven’t got enough football to watch, talk and argue about.

Men, you may argue, “Ohh, we ain’t addicted, but we do work hard and at least we do not drink, gamble and chase women.” Great argument, guys. As a man, I admire you for this. But on the flip-side, have you taken the time to listen to your talk during any football season? You infect your vocabulary, or resurrect terms like: “Top 10 in The Nation,” “Blue Chip Recruit,” “Rebulding,” “We will dominate,” “National Championship,” and “Conference Championship,” to say nothing about “Coach who, fired?” “Who is taking (fired coach’s’ place?” “Heard they were hiring so and so,” and “Probation?”

It's like he is under a magic spell
It's like he is under a magic spell
Men are mesmerized by the sport of football
Men are mesmerized by the sport of football
Does this look like the wife is having a great time?
Does this look like the wife is having a great time?

What does "she" get to do during football season?

And what have your wives got to do during the annual 12-week “Pigskin Purgatory,” they have endured since you married them? Newsflash: Not all women like football. And not all women have a need to learn football, so where does that leave them? Yes, them?

Allow me to tell you, “Couch Coaches.” Your wives and girlfriends deal with loneliness; depression; rejection; and feel as if a “defensive line” has been placed between you and her. Have you noticed? Of course you haven’t. You and the guys have been busy planning your next road-trip to whatever stadium your favorite team is playing. Oh you do the obligatory invite to the wife—knowing that she will decline your offer and you can use this point the next time she complains about “your” football obsession.”

While you guys are thinking of what I have said so far, and believe me, I am not mad at you in the least. I am here to try and be of help to your poor, suffering wife who knows from one year to the next that she will “lose” you the next fall, not to an alluring woman of the world or a high-stakes poker game, but to the game of football.

He cannot get his mind off of football
He cannot get his mind off of football
This proves that men are addicted to football
This proves that men are addicted to football

I offer you ladies whose men are “football addicts,” these helpful things you can do to busy yourself and thereby save your marriage. So here are . . .

Useful Things That “Football Widows” Can Do To Save Their Sanity and Marriage

"Football Widows" club
"Football Widows" club
Wife tries to get her husband's attention
Wife tries to get her husband's attention
This man even misses meals to watch football
This man even misses meals to watch football
This is Miranda Kerr, a film star, not a "football widow"
This is Miranda Kerr, a film star, not a "football widow"
A few women have tried to learn the game of football to share something with their husbands
A few women have tried to learn the game of football to share something with their husbands
This football fan eats and watches football while his wife cooks and he never looks up at her
This football fan eats and watches football while his wife cooks and he never looks up at her
This man is carried-away with football
This man is carried-away with football
This "football widow" carries the look of loneliness on her face thanks to football
This "football widow" carries the look of loneliness on her face thanks to football
Some "football widows" wish that their husbands would look at other women occasionally and not at football so much
Some "football widows" wish that their husbands would look at other women occasionally and not at football so much

START A “FOOTBALL WIDOWS’ CLUB”—and rotate the meeting place each week. You ladies can meet and relax, chat, have a few drinks, play cards, watch movies, talk and vent your complete-frustration about your man choosing to be with his mistress, “Gridiron,” rather than you in the fall.

LEARN A NEW HOBBY—such as knitting, cross-stitch, or painting. Boring? Are you serious? It takes skill to do these things and each are challenging. It sure beats sitting and watching a grown man yell like a wild jungle ape at the wide-screen plasma television when a player and team he does not know score a lousy seven points that is not going to help you or him when the day is over.

WRITE A PERSONAL JOURNAL—of every conversation that you have tried to start with your husband and the asinine reply he gave you. After football season is over, you can share this journal with him. It will make for a few great laughs and I guarantee that he will not remember one thing you read.

TEACH YOUR PET—some new tricks. And if you do not own a pet, go out and buy one. Learning to make productive-use of your time is the key to keeping your sanity and cool during football season.

GET TO KNOW—other “football widows.” They might love another woman to talk to since they have no husband during football season. Go to lunch with a new “football widow” friend. It is something new so go for it.

CALL UP SOME OF YOUR—old college buddies or even a relative who lives far away. You can re-establish an old friendship that you used to enjoy “before” you married your husband and realized that you had to share him with football.

COMPILE A LIST—of the elderly in your neighborhood and get one or two of your “football widow” friends and visit them, take them a gift basket to let them know that someone is thinking of them or just sit and talk with them for a little while. Suddenly you will realize just how important things like this are and how football is really, well, I think you how what I am going to say.

VOLUNTEER FOR A—charity in your town for a few Saturdays during football season. Your husband will not mind. In fact, before it’s over, he might just get to missing you. Things work like that sometimes.

TAKE A ROAD-TRIP—with your “football widow” friends. They might enjoy seeing another town or some new tourist attraction rather than be stuck in the house waiting for the last two-minutes of their husband’s football game to be over. And everyone knows that two-minutes in football equals one hour.

LEARN HOW TO—plant and grow flowers or maybe a nice fall garden. It will not hurt you or your lady friends to wear some nice gloves and get your hands dirty and be a part of nature. You think I am kidding? Not in the least. I am offering you an opportunity to expand your horizons.

TRY-OUT FOR—your area’s community theater. It might be fun for you and your friends to be part of a community theater production. Some productions take at least ten weeks or less to rehearse, plan and learn lines. This may be a side of you that you have forgotten. Rediscover yourself is what I am talking about.

ORGANIZE YOUR OWN—Zumba or Yoga sessions. With a little research, you and your friends can stay in shape, help your girlfriends in the process and feel great about what you have accomplished.

GO FOR WALKS—in the pretty countryside or wherever there are trees with leaves that are turning beautiful colors. Make sure that where you walk is a safe place and within driving distance from your home and take your cell-phones with you in case of emergency.

CHOOSE A DIFFERENT—place for you and each of your friends to have lunch or dinner each week during football season. This will give you something to look forward to during the week. I am not suggesting that you shun your husband or ignore him. If he likes football this much, then he shouldn’t have a problem with you eating with your friends at a different place each week.

Note: If you notice, in each of the suggestions that I left you, I did not in any way, imply or suggest that you swing-by my house and pick me up. But if the idea arises . . .

Ladies, how do you deal with your husband who is addicted to football?

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Comments 8 comments

JamaGenee profile image

JamaGenee 2 years ago from Central Oklahoma

Kenneth, you clearly put a lot of thought into your suggestions, but most "football widows" I ever knew just went to the mall and maxed out Hubby's credit cards on Saturdays and Sundays! Same for "hunting widows" whose husbands left them at home for several days during [insert critter] season. ;D


sheilamyers 2 years ago

I can't be a "football widow" because I'm not married, but I think you have some very good ideas for those who are both. If I were married, I wouldn't consider my husband being "addicted" to football a problem. His football watching time would be his "me time" and I'd have my own "me time". I'd have plenty of things to do to keep busy. That is unless the Steelers are playing. I could imagine the fight over the remote control if he didn't like the Steelers and there was a game on another channel he wanted to watch.


Gypsy Rose Lee profile image

Gypsy Rose Lee 2 years ago from Riga, Latvia

Great hub and love those pictures. Here in Latvia the commanding sport is European football but no probs at home my hubby does not get carried away.


Au fait profile image

Au fait 2 years ago from North Texas

Interesting viewpoint. Never have had any interest in sports, but for those who do, it is better than some of the alternative activities, and it creates jobs for people and sometimes keeps them occupied and out of trouble -- sometimes . . . ;)


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 2 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

Au fait,

Thank you kindly for your input.

I do want those ladies whose husbands prefer football over their company to at least think about the things I have suggested.

Peace.


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 2 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

sheilamyers,

Steelers? Me too! And since Terry Bradshaw and The Steel Curtain were the talk of the town.

I understand your poins about the "me times" for both husband and wife, and for you, I respect you anyway. You are a Dear Friend.

Like I told Au fait, I was just suggesting exit strategies for ladies whose husbands REALLY choose pigskin over silken skin.

I never did, but I have always been "out there."

Thanks for all of your comments.


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 2 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

GypsyRoseLee,

Thank you for your interesting comment. Latvia? I have heard of your area. A very nice place to live.

And I am very glad that you and your husband have no problems with football.

Please keep in touch with me.


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 2 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

Dear JamaGenee,

Ahhh, you are here. Wow, thanks for your sweet comment. I should write a hub about lovely wives (like you) who enjoy a good shopping spree with hubby's cards, and this does, create and stabilize our economy.

Your always have such interesting comemnts.

Have a great weekend. Here is my football cheer . . .

"Yaaaay, football! Zis! Boom! Baaaah!"

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