Ways to Apologize to Women

If you've ever dated a woman, you've probably had to apologize to her at some point. Not neccesarily because you did something wrong, but because you didn't want to wind up on the couch while she slept solo in a large comfy bed. Take comfort in knowing that all men will experience this at some point in time, and none of them will find it particularly easy to accomplish due to the highly mutable temperament (read: psychosis) so many of us seem to have. Not that I'm apologizing for it; after all, the crazier we are, the better we are in bed! Instead, I want to take a moment to give some of you a few pointers that ought to help you smooth the situation over more easily. If you want to smooth it over, that is -- some of you clearly enjoy sleeping on the sofa, or you wouldn't wind up there so frequently!

Cards

If you're not the best at writing a heartfelt apology, let Hallmark do it for you; they're pretty good at it. Pop down to your local drugstore on the way home, have a look at the "I'm sorry" section (seriously, there really is one) and pick one which best corresponds to your situation. Please note: You will need to actually read the content before purchasing, as you don't want to give her a card that says you're sorry for the wrong thing!

Candy

Who doesn't love getting candy? I don't even like most types of candy, but I'd be pretty chuffed to have someone hand a box over to me as an apology. Obviously, this ought to be a proper box of chocolates or something -- don't grab a bag of M&Ms from the gas station on your way home and think that's going to get your foot in the bedroom door.

Flowers

Unless she's allergic to flowers, your woman will appreciate getting a handful as an apology. Which type doesn't really matter all that much, you could even pick some daisies from the side of the road -- but do make sure you're not grabbing a bunch of weeds.

Dinner

Dinner at a nice restaurant is often a good way to make a woman feel special, which will put her a better frame of mind for forgiving whatever you've done. (Assuming you've done anything.) It doesn't have to be uber expensive, just thoughtful. And no, Burger King probably won't get you very far.

Small gifts

Notice I said small gifts, as opposed to large gifts; this is because I don't think it's a good idea to buy forgiveness, and if you have a woman who would sell hers to you, something is not kosher. If you want to buy a small token to make something up to her, try the candy, card or flowers -- and if you want to get a little more pricey try her favorite perfume. But don't go overboard, as that will only gloss things over for a temporary period of time.

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