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What Kind of Man Does Not Send His Wife a Valentine’s Card?

Updated on February 6, 2013
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Valentine’s Day

Valentine’s Day is almost upon us once again, and all over the world, men and women are busy trying to come up with ways of pleasing their significant other.

Men are trying to find that perfect card which sums up just how they feel about their loved one and are striving to find a way that will make their loved one feel special.

What about the man who does not send a card?

However, what about the man that does not send his wife a card on Valentine’s Day, does this mean that he is not romantic and that he does not care about his wife?

Does he not buy a card because he is too mean, thoughtless or just cannot be bothered? Is he is just lazy or too selfish to think about someone other than himself?

Well it could be because of any one of these reasons or even all them.

However, just because he does not buy cards on Valentine's Day does not necessarily mean that he is mean, thoughtless, selfish or just plain lazy or that any of the reasons above apply to him.

It certainly does not necessarily mean even that he is not romantic, and neither does it mean that he does not love his wife enough to put himself out.

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What possible reason could there be?

What possible reason could there be for a loving husband, boyfriend or partner, not buying or sending a Valentine card to their loved one?

Well one reason that springs to mind right away could be that he does not buy into all the Hallmark type hype surrounding Valentine’s Day.

It seems that almost every event in life from cradle to grave and almost every relationship now, all have a special day and card attached to it.

When I was a child over sixty years ago, there was only a hand full of events that were marked by a special card.

Nowadays however, there is barely a day goes by when something or other is being celebrated where people are sending virtual and real cards speeding to their recipients.

Cards, cards and more cards

There are now so many cards commemorating so many things that they have almost lost their meaning and value.

Each year the price of these cards seems to go up, which of course makes the card makers lots of money and also very happy.

Why wouldn’t the Card manufactures be happy, when a card that takes only pennies to make, retails in multiples of £ pounds, $ dollars € euros not pennies and cents?

Printing cards is almost like printing your own money and manufacturers gleefully turn out cards in large numbers.

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The Valentine Card

The Valentine card that you buy after much searching may well be appropriate for the person that you buy it for.

It may also say something that is appropriate, but they are not personal, because each person does not have a card made specifically for them.

Though the way things are progressing with e-cards, I think that it will not be long before they can be totally personalized and be unique to the sender.

Today however, thousands of other people will also send a copy (real or virtual) of the same card that you send, to their own special loved one too.

The card will only differ from all the others by the personal message that you write in it.

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My husband doesn't send Valentine’s Day cards

I married a man that does not send Anniversary or Valentine’s Day cards, but I have yet to meet a man that is more kind, loving and caring than my husband.

When I was younger, much younger, in my twenties, I would see other women receiving cards, chocolates, roses and even going out for a romantic dinner on Valentine’s Day.

Did I feel envious or feel that I was missing something in my life when I saw these things happening?

No not really, I had a husband that was always happy to get home from work to be with his family and a man that I was always happy to see come home too.

Does no card equal does not care?

All I can say it that you cannot tell just from the absence of a card, all that tell you is that they have not bought a card.

The reason behind that decision you can only tell by knowing the man in question. In my case no card does not equal does not care.

My husband was and still is the kind of man that goes out of his way to make life as pleasant and enjoyable as he can for those he loves, there is no doubt that he cares.

Even after being married to me for over 45 years he still opens doors for me and holds my hand when we are out together.

If he knows that I like something, I do not have to wait for a special day to roll round for me to have it.

If we cannot afford something, then he will do everything in his power to find a way to afford it all because he does care.

Definition of Romantic

The Oxford English Dictionary definition is

  • inclined toward or suggestive of the feeling of excitement and mystery associated with love:
  • relating to love, especially in a sentimental or idealized way:
  • 2 of, characterized by, or suggestive of an idealized view of reality:

Urban Dictionary definition is

  • Displaying or expressing love or strong affection.
  • Honorable, Passionate, Charming, Respectfull.

Does not buying a Valentine’s Day Card equal not romantic?

Do you have to buy Valentine’s Day Cards to be romantic? I think that the card manufacturers would love us to believe that you do have to buy a Valentine card if you want to be romantic on Valentine’s Day.

Advertisers pay out lots of money for advertising hoping to make people want to buy products identified with being romantic. Mostly the advertisers identify products as being romantic in the first place.

I personally do not think that you have to buy a card on a special day once a year to qualify as being romantic.

However, I suppose that it is down to what we mean by romantic?

If I take the first definition I suppose that I would have to say that my husband is not romantic because he does not express, see or show his love in a sentimental and idealized way.

However, if I take the second definition then I can say that he is definitely romantic. Why, because where I am concerned, he does express love, he has no trouble showing strong affection, and he is honourable, passionate, charming and respectful.

Romantic or not romantic?

If a man does not buy a Valentine's Day card does it mean that he is not romantic?

See results

So what kind of man does not buy a Valentine card?

I would have to say that he is whatever kind of man he is for the 365 days in a year; buying or not buying a card does not define or make the man anything other than a card buyer.

I have lived long enough and seen enough to know that a man can buy and do all the right things on Valentine’s Day but that does not tell us what kind of man he is for the rest of the year.

If a man buys a card, roses, and chocolates then whisks his loved one off to a fancy restaurant to wine and dine her but treats her like dirt the rest of the year is he more romantic than the man who just does not buy a card?

I don’t think you can judge whether a man is romantic simply from his buying habits on one particular day, it is how he acts the other 364 days of the year that will show what kind of man he is.

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