What Is Expected in Relationships/Marriages

If married for love, money, or to bear his child, you will not have that perfect marriage or relationship. Don't live in a dreamland face up to reality. Ignoring reality is living in denial.

Why live in denial?

You need to be upfront with your feelings don't hide away from what you must face in your daily life. Don't wait too long to make your words heard. There is no right time or place to let out your emotions.

Come right out with it.

Be private, but also make your partner know what is hurting you and show your true feelings toward each other. It is all part of your relationship or marriage.

If you feel something is wrong get it off your chest. You either accept each other or let go of one another. When you know the truth of the matter everything can feel good again.

Problems are faced daily by couples. From a traditional housewives to a celebrity of the times they have experienced issues in their relationships or marriages. There is no reason to be ashamed or embarrassed.

Small problems lead to big ones if you don't talk about them. Your expectations are often too high and that can make you feel hard.

Keep it cool!

Don't pick up after him as he won't pick up after you. Though you can make compromises. Don't argue about every little moment.

You will gradually get to the point where you must let go of unnecessary arguments or disagreements. You don't want to feel unloved or unheard.

Avoid that feeling of being under-appreciated, and of controlling moods. You know what you mean good he won't think like you or do like you.

The little irritable moments can drive you up to the wall, but don't let that get to your head.

There must be something about you that makes him feel irritated with and has not yet mentioned it.

You will feel connected with your partner if you don't pay attention to what annoys you. People grow differently and grow apart if they fail to see the love, they have for each other.

Don't use harsh tones.

For example:

''My dad was a gentleman and had helped my mother.''

You don't want to go down that road.

When he sits there lazily and does not take his dirty plate to the sink that can be the most annoying behaviour. Remove it, but if that goes on and on then leave it there for days and see what happens.

If the dirty plate has not been moved from its place, then it is time to discuss the situation. Bear in mind, no two people can see everything in the same way,

Things change all the time and you can't avoid change. It is all a two-way road it is for all partners.

Certain issues are worth discussing and there are some issues that are not worth getting into. You don't always see it right away.

You don't expect the perfect fairy tale marriage or relationship like what you see in the movies.

If all relationships or marriages were so perfect, why the many divorces?

Who is not messy?

You can't always blame him for that mess. No home can be cleaned all the time. You leave some items lying around the home and do not put them in the correct places as they should have been,

Why moan about every detail in the home or your life?

Sometimes you fail to comply with the needs around the home. Blaming him for what you failed to do is not how you should solve your disagreements.

There is no need to always pick on your partner for what is often so wrong in your eyes. Communication is a problem for many relationships and shutting each other out is often the path chosen.

That can make both partners feel helpless.

Do you feel unloved by your partner?

Unconsciously you can feel unloved if were raised in a problematic family. You must try to work out your relationship clearly and from all opinions. Walking away is not the way to get out of your mess.

When you choose to walk away the same old routine will be repeated in another relationship. This means that you haven't learned from your mistakes.

I wrote this hub on the spur of the moment.

The words just came out and had to get everything out in the open. You can fall in love and fall out of love, but you won't forget who were in love with for all time.

So what are vows to this person?

When you feel upset take time out and let that moment go. Trying to bang your head against the wall to make it all right, won't work out as you want it to. Raising your voice is another major part of what you choose to do in your marriage.

Take turns walking out of the room when in a rage that should help you out. Do it if you want to keep your relationship together. Too much can throttle you at times that is why counselling can be another option to keep yourselves bonded like old times.

It all depends on how long you are together to have that time to sort out your behaviours.

It is time to focus on you and him, not on the broken promises. When you lack his touch or love, everything can fall apart easily.

During the worst times in a relationship, you do tend to feel unloved or unheard even under-appreciated. The key is to focus on the present. You need to feel a connection with your partner.

What happens when you feel under-appreciated?

If you feel your hard work is not noticed interest can be lost. When interest is lost, you start to take your relationship for granted.

Your attitude toward everything does play an important role with you and the other person. You will feel most appreciated when you talk about it. Thank each other for any deed taken into consideration.

Are you feeling controlled in your relationship?

When two people decide to live together before marriage at least one of the partners will feel controlled by the other.

For example, as in the following case:

He shouts out to her to get him a beer. That tone is taken control of her. Most relationships don't go further due to control issues.

''Hey, you bring me that glass.''

''Pass me that tool.''

''Can you sweep up that mess?''

If one of you was raised in a family with controlling parents this kind of behaviour can affect you in later stages. Mostly these problems are found when one starts their own relationship.

Control is a problem in relationships. They table the situation differently.

The person saying it may not be behaving in that way. The commitment made to the relationship will have greater effects on what you show your responsibility.

Do you lack intimacy?

Certain argumentative conversations can cause you to be stressed out and feel helpless. The lack of love and care can make you lose interest in your partner. The constant discussion about money can ruin any relationship never mind what it could do for your marriage.

Why did your partner one day just pick up and move on?

In many cases, one of the partners can't stay with the other anymore. The lack of intimacy draws two people apart.

He gave her everything she ever wanted, but that was not enough in their relationship and the sad part about it he did not see what he had failed to deliver to her.

One day she left him, and he did not even know the reasons for her leaving him. Sometimes certain men can be selfish and not point out their mistakes in such situations she won't tell him.

He neglects her without knowing another unnoticed aspect. She expects him to know, but unfortunately, that is often not the case. Leaving becomes the only option.

Ever thought about why your partner flirts with another?

It can be him or her who will flirt to get the attention of another. They feel alone and the lack of attention from their partner makes flirting their choice to feel playfully happy.

It is a kind of playfulness that partners don't get any more from each other. Both partners have issues with each other about something or the other.

Sometimes one partner can think the other is far too friendly with the opposite gender. Changing each other does not mend it. Your partner will never be what you want them to be in your life.

Where is fairness in a relationship/marriage?

The problem can sometimes be about who will help with the daily chores or who will fetch the kids from school. Negotiating can take a toll on you.

All that decision-making can be difficult to apprehend. Complaints can get bigger and bigger. Couples can get into a routine of observing who is right and who is wrong.

Who is fair and who is not fair?

In comparison to one another who is getting it all together or who is not getting the whole idea of a relationship?

The focus is on when you want to draw the line is another argument to swallow. If you look at your relationship in that way you are going down.

It takes two to tango as it will in all relationships or marriages.

What is dangerous to any partner in a relationship?

Criticism is very dangerous to any partner it can destroy your whole being. You should not attack others in any situation.

If you feel you don't want to go on, then go for that long waiting affair and if you want to destroy a relationship completely use criticism. Criticism would work wonderfully breaking up your relationship or marriage.

When you make your partner look or feel belittled whether in the presence of others or when just the two of you are together. The whole concept can have a permanent hold on their minds.

The person can close off their communication window and become silent. Anger can set in when one is criticized. Talking about the problem becomes less and less.

If you make an indirect comment that is sarcastic and when continuing in this manner you are putting that person down on their back. By behaving in this way, you end up losing respect for one another. Communication helps, but not all the time. Sometimes communication can worsen the problem.

Some irritable behaviours never change. Changing someone is not an idea either. Change the way you think and do. The same issues can pop up over and over, it may sound insane, but that is truly going on in many relationships/marriages.

In the following example as follows:

She feared abandonment that stemmed from her childhood and managed somehow to take on the same issues repeatedly.

Even though they have been together for over seven years there were still the same complaints to be heard of.

They recently went on a trip and had a great time. He was fully aware of her fears of abandonment and her childhood problems.

The couple did not feel good around each other and after the trip, he decided to take off. He left her some cash and went his way.