Why I'm scared to have kids

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Oh Wait, I did have a kid!

Apparently I didn't heed my own advice, visit http://www.fatherknowslittle.blogspot.com/ to check my progress.

I'm scared to have kids....

Most of my friends have kids by now, it's a part of getting older, the natural progression of things I guess. Some days I still feel like a kid myself. By the time my Dad was my age my sister and I were 19 and 16 respectively. Add my 13 year old stepsister to the list and you've got more than your hands full. I cannot fathom having teenagers in my house at this point in my life. It's hard enough keeping myself out of trouble, throw some kids in the mix and it could get ugly.

When I was growing up, my cousins (Jason and Chris) and I got into all sorts of trouble, three boys around the same age, living in the same neighborhood. This made for some very interesting summers.

The most famous was dubbed the homicide/suicide attempt. Jason and Chris had just gotten BB guns at the same time. Jason and I were home alone one day. I picked up my younger cousin Chris's pellet gun and shot it a few times around the house (one of many great decisions made that day). Not seeing any damage, I figured the gun was empty. We started playing around and I pointed it at Jason and shot at him. Luckily, he turned his head at the last second. Grabbing behind his ear, he told me how much this stung. Brilliantly, I pointed the gun at my finger and pulled the trigger. Realizing the lump in my finger was in fact a pellet, we called my Dad who rushed us to the hospital.

My stepmother hurried over to the house to clean up the scene of the crime before my aunt and Chris arrived home. Jason still has the pellet lodged behind his ear to this day. There are many other stories but this one sticks out the most.

Oh, and another one involving my cousins (we really were good kids...I think)

One summer we were watching a movie (one of the Chuck Norris classics) at the house. In the movie they were making molotov cocktails. Being 12 or 13 years old, we decided this looked like fun. We found some old bottles out of a neighbor's trash can and went to the shed and grabbed the gasoline. We went down to the local park, lit the first bottle and threw it....BOOM! We stared at the fire in awe. Throwing the 2nd bottle I cut my thumb and had to get 5 stitches. This probably prevented us from burning the park down.

If that's not enough, here are a few more reasons I'm scared to have kids:

Medical Bills- Especially boys, from 10-30 years old I was in and out of the emergency room. Stitches, gashes, busted teeth, sprains, a fish hook in the foot, and one ER incident involving a stomach full of Fruity Pebbles. It's amazing I have all of my fingers and toes.

They become too cool for you - This is the worst. As an uncle, my nephew thought I was the coolest when he was 5 until about 10. Somewhere along that 10 or 11 age kids become too cool for you. They roll their eyes, give you one word answers, and look at you like they would rather be anywhere in the world than hanging out with you. I can't even imagine teenage girls.

Health - It's a miracle babies are born, and even a bigger miracle they are born healthy. Not to sound superficial, because any baby can be a gift, it's just something to worry about nonetheless.

Free Time - I like it. Maybe that's selfish but it's nice to have some spare time to yourself. Hanging out with the dogs, playing basketball, a quiet house, these would all be things of the past.

Money- Babies don't work, and from what I gather they are quite expensive. These are scary times, in this economy nothing's guaranteed.

What If I'm not good at parenting- People always say it comes naturally, or you learn as you go. What if you don't? What if I'm responsible for raising a serial killer? Not something to be taken lightly.

I'll be the "old" Dad - In my thirties now, I will be in my fifties by the time my kid will be in high school. I'd better stay in shape..

The list above are reasons I worry about having a kid. There are also reasons I would like to have a kid, but that list doesn't involve the stupidity and personal injuries of my childhood. Hopefully, if I ever do have a kid, I'll be ready. Some people tell me you're never ready. I do know this, If I have a kid, I will hide the BB guns, Chuck Norris movies and the Fruity Pebbles.

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Comments 26 comments

Alecia Murphy profile image

Alecia Murphy 5 years ago from Wilmington, North Carolina

You make great points, but Weestro I think your life experience will pay out in the long run for you. My parents were the older when I was born and I usually had the oldest parents of my classmates. I think it worked for me because I really didn't care about being embarrassed as much nor did my parents really try to seem cool. And as a bonus, I learned about a lot of awesome things that happened when they were younger. Great Hub as usual!


MsDora profile image

MsDora 5 years ago from The Caribbean

Better to have them and the worry that comes with them, than to not have them and worry any! Hope you'll come around.


Rosie2010 profile image

Rosie2010 5 years ago from Toronto, Canada

Oh Weestro, you are funny. But it's not really that bad.. having kids. I was a tomboy when I was a kid because there were no little girls to play with. That was tough because I had to be as good or better in their games, climbing trees, and stealing the crazy neighbour's fruits. But like you, I turned out ok. I'm still cool.. well, not according to my two kids. For them, their mom is just weird. lol

I enjoyed reading your hub. Good job! Voted up and funny.

Have a nice day,

Rosie


jimagain profile image

jimagain 5 years ago from Hattiesburg, Mississippi

You present a compelling argument against having children, unfortunately I was not smart enough at the time to realize this. In retrospect, the thought of procreating kids who would invariably turn out no better than I, should have been enough to make me averse to the proposition. Alas, I was again not smart enough to consider this as yet another reason I should avoid reproducing after myself!


lyns profile image

lyns 5 years ago from USA

I enjoyed this article and the truthfulness as well, no your not being selfish but wise, very good thanks for sharing


Husky1970 5 years ago

You'll never regret having kids, weestro. It is an awesome responsibility but one that I would not have traded for anything. I have a 27 year old son and 34 year old daughter. My wife and I are very, very close to them and enjoy sharing their life experiences. Go for it!


Diane Fanning profile image

Diane Fanning 5 years ago from New Braunfels, Texas

Good grief! I'd supressed the memory of some of those nightmare moments. LOL I'm surprised I survived your childhood.


weestro profile image

weestro 5 years ago from Virginia Author

MsDora - Thanks, I agree

Rosie - Now days I think you need a helmet to climb trees!

Jim - I think you outsmarted yourself there!

lyn - I hope so

Husky - congrats to you on a job well done

Diane - Thanks for keeping me intact, at least physically!!

Thanks for reading and commenting guys, I appreciate it.


MarloByDesign profile image

MarloByDesign 5 years ago from United States

Voted UP and INTERESTING. I agree with you as I treasure a quiet house, money, and free time as well. Not sure about the economy and jon security, so would not want to "cheat" a little one out of anything.


DeborahNeyens profile image

DeborahNeyens 5 years ago from Iowa

I don't have kids, either, and I haven't had any regrets so far. My advice to you is that if you don't have kids, make sure to be part of somebody else's kids lives. For me, that would be my nieces and nephews and the children of friends and neighbors. It's great that I can (and do) go to their sporting events whenever I want, but don't have to devote my entire weekend traveling hundreds of miles away to see 10 year olds play in a soccer tournament, which is how many of my friends spend their weekends. I keep toys at my house for kids who come to visit and I have special activities for the kids at my parties (like a pinata or craft project).


weestro profile image

weestro 5 years ago from Virginia Author

Thanks marlo, money is a big part of it, yes deborah, it's nice to have kids over but it's nice when they leave too!! Thanks for commenting guys!


gryphin423 profile image

gryphin423 5 years ago from Florida

It has been quoted that it costs $250,000 to raise a child from birth to 18 yrs old. My husband and I are 40 and have chosen to not have children. I have my nephews and niece to love and cherish, and then go home to my quiet house and the spontaneous life we lead. Go to Miami for the weekend, do a triple feature Saturday or just do nothing at all. It is the best choice for US. Everyone to each his/her own and it is not a selfish decision. The fact that you even discuss it is a wise choice. My aunt and uncle had a baby at 42 and they were always tired, but do not regret it. Best wishes on that hard decision!


Ingenira profile image

Ingenira 4 years ago

Haha... you spoke out what people fear of having kids very well.

Have you heard of a recent studies mentioning that people with 2 or more kids tend to live longer than those with none or less, not the contrary ? Go figure out the reasons.... :)


weestro profile image

weestro 4 years ago from Virginia Author

I haven't seen it Ingenira, maybe it's the happiness of when they leave the nest! Thanks for reading and commenting!


resspenser profile image

resspenser 3 years ago from South Carolina

The only problem with not having kids is that without them it's impossible to have grandkids. And they are so worth it!


weestro profile image

weestro 3 years ago from Virginia Author

Thanks, it's funny to look back at this hub now that my son is almost five months old!


daisy 3 years ago

My husband and I are in the same boat you were. Now that it seems like you took the leap into parenthood, in all honesty, is it that bad?? Some days I talk myself into it, others I take a nap when I come home from work and think 'this would never happen again'!


weestro profile image

weestro 3 years ago from Virginia Author

All I can say about it is this Daisy: It is the hardest thing I've ever done and at the same time the most rewarding. Thanks for reading!


fpherj48 profile image

fpherj48 2 years ago from Beautiful Upstate New York

Pete.....First I have to say You ARE a wonderful and humorous writer. I thoroughly enjoyed every word of this hub!

This was a very personal walk down the Memory Lane of Nightmares for me. Raised 4 sons (single-handedly for the most part) and would be so happy it's all behind me if not for the fact that I now have 9 grand sons. There is no hope for me.....don't bother to send your condolences.

I have a near identical BB gun story....and a million others. I prefer not to talk about it, Pete, if you don't mind. I've only been out of the facility a few years......still in re-hab mode.

This is simply a fantastic hub! I'm glad you are a Daddy now and I'm certain you are too......(all in good time, my pretty.) ROFLMAO...Up+++shared, pinned & tweeted.


Kathleen Cochran profile image

Kathleen Cochran 2 years ago from Atlanta, Georgia

My husband says children are the most wonderful frustrating experience in life. That just about says it. If only every would-be parent were as honest as you.


DzyMsLizzy profile image

DzyMsLizzy 2 years ago from Oakley, CA

Brillant! LOL Voted up and funny. Boys do get into more trouble than girls--or at least they did back in my day...

The worst "trouble" I got into was deciding one day that I should be able to climb out my bedroom window, shinny down the post holding one end of the clothesline pulley, down to the platform, and into the yard, and back again. My dad reamed me, not for the possibility of getting hurt (which I'm sure was on his mind as well, since I was pretty over-protected), but it came out as a lecture about how "If anyone was watching, you just showed them how to break into the house!"

(yeah--I was a tomboy--still am. Give me a tree to climb any day; rather do that than shop for clothes!)

My kids are grown; one grandson is in the Army; the next in line is a senior in high school, and is going in the Navy next year. The grand daughters are 12 and 5, and I feel sorry for the world they are inheriting.

If I were younger, I certainly would opt out of having a family in this day and age, just because of the ugly state of the world and this country.

Peace out.


weestro profile image

weestro 2 years ago from Virginia Author

Your dad sounds like a smart guy, Lizzy! And you are so right about the turmoil in the world, I never gave it much thought until my wife found out she was pregnant, then it was panic attacks and anxiety. The world became a scary place, and finally I had to turn off the news in order to breathe. But like a friend told me, all you can do is raise your kid right and hope for the best.

I worry a lot...You can read more about it at my blog if you're interested. www.fatherknowslittle.blogspot.com


JayeWisdom profile image

JayeWisdom 2 years ago from Deep South, USA

Pete - I'll bet you're a terrific dad. I read your blog for a while, but now can't find it. The link doesn't work. Did you stop writing it? (Well, I can understand that if you did. In addition to writing for HP, you're now busy being a DAD!)

Up+++

Jaye


tillsontitan profile image

tillsontitan 2 years ago from New York

Great read Pete! You certainly had an "interesting" childhood but if we were all to compare stories you'd be surprised how alike they are.

The best thing about your past is how prepared you are for raising your own, no matter your age! Your experiences will help to give you patience and understanding as you giggle behind your hand.

Voted up, funny, and interesting.


DzyMsLizzy profile image

DzyMsLizzy 2 years ago from Oakley, CA

Checked out your blog--loved the top of the page article; went to comment, hit 'publish' and it made me sign in to Google first...but when it redirected back to your blog, my comment was gone, and I barely recall what I said! :(


weestro profile image

weestro 2 years ago from Virginia Author

Thanks for visiting. Here and at the blog, I'll look into it!

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