Why I'm scared to have kids
Oh Wait, I did have a kid!
Apparently I didn't heed my own advice, visit http://www.fatherknowslittle.blogspot.com/ to check my progress.
I'm scared to have kids....
Most of my friends have kids by now, it's a part of getting older, the natural progression of things I guess. Some days I still feel like a kid myself. By the time my Dad was my age my sister and I were 19 and 16 respectively. Add my 13 year old stepsister to the list and you've got more than your hands full. I cannot fathom having teenagers in my house at this point in my life. It's hard enough keeping myself out of trouble, throw some kids in the mix and it could get ugly.
When I was growing up, my cousins (Jason and Chris) and I got into all sorts of trouble, three boys around the same age, living in the same neighborhood. This made for some very interesting summers.
The most famous was dubbed the homicide/suicide attempt. Jason and Chris had just gotten BB guns at the same time. Jason and I were home alone one day. I picked up my younger cousin Chris's pellet gun and shot it a few times around the house (one of many great decisions made that day). Not seeing any damage, I figured the gun was empty. We started playing around and I pointed it at Jason and shot at him. Luckily, he turned his head at the last second. Grabbing behind his ear, he told me how much this stung. Brilliantly, I pointed the gun at my finger and pulled the trigger. Realizing the lump in my finger was in fact a pellet, we called my Dad who rushed us to the hospital.
My stepmother hurried over to the house to clean up the scene of the crime before my aunt and Chris arrived home. Jason still has the pellet lodged behind his ear to this day. There are many other stories but this one sticks out the most.
Oh, and another one involving my cousins (we really were good kids...I think)
One summer we were watching a movie (one of the Chuck Norris classics) at the house. In the movie they were making molotov cocktails. Being 12 or 13 years old, we decided this looked like fun. We found some old bottles out of a neighbor's trash can and went to the shed and grabbed the gasoline. We went down to the local park, lit the first bottle and threw it....BOOM! We stared at the fire in awe. Throwing the 2nd bottle I cut my thumb and had to get 5 stitches. This probably prevented us from burning the park down.
If that's not enough, here are a few more reasons I'm scared to have kids:
Medical Bills- Especially boys, from 10-30 years old I was in and out of the emergency room. Stitches, gashes, busted teeth, sprains, a fish hook in the foot, and one ER incident involving a stomach full of Fruity Pebbles. It's amazing I have all of my fingers and toes.
They become too cool for you - This is the worst. As an uncle, my nephew thought I was the coolest when he was 5 until about 10. Somewhere along that 10 or 11 age kids become too cool for you. They roll their eyes, give you one word answers, and look at you like they would rather be anywhere in the world than hanging out with you. I can't even imagine teenage girls.
Health - It's a miracle babies are born, and even a bigger miracle they are born healthy. Not to sound superficial, because any baby can be a gift, it's just something to worry about nonetheless.
Free Time - I like it. Maybe that's selfish but it's nice to have some spare time to yourself. Hanging out with the dogs, playing basketball, a quiet house, these would all be things of the past.
Money- Babies don't work, and from what I gather they are quite expensive. These are scary times, in this economy nothing's guaranteed.
What If I'm not good at parenting- People always say it comes naturally, or you learn as you go. What if you don't? What if I'm responsible for raising a serial killer? Not something to be taken lightly.
I'll be the "old" Dad - In my thirties now, I will be in my fifties by the time my kid will be in high school. I'd better stay in shape..
The list above are reasons I worry about having a kid. There are also reasons I would like to have a kid, but that list doesn't involve the stupidity and personal injuries of my childhood. Hopefully, if I ever do have a kid, I'll be ready. Some people tell me you're never ready. I do know this, If I have a kid, I will hide the BB guns, Chuck Norris movies and the Fruity Pebbles.
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