Why Men Cheat on Their Wives -The Real Reasons!

Why Men Cheat on Their Wives

Why Men Cheat on Their Wives - The Real Reasons!
Why Men Cheat on Their Wives - The Real Reasons!

Why Men Cheat on their wives is an aged long question that so many woman have been dying to find an answer to.  As a man, and someone that has been on both sides of the fence I must say there is no definitive answer to that question, and that is probably why it is so frustrating to so many women.

Cheating men is not something new, and neither is cheating women for that matter but I’ll save that for another article.

In this article I am going to shed some light on the topic of why men cheat on their wives from what I have seen and experienced in my life firsthand. 

Ladies, I am going to take the liberty of apologizing before you read some of these reasons, because I know you are not going to like what you are about to read.  Despite my honesty on the matter, I am also almost certain that these answers will not end your quest to find that one definitive answer that you are looking for.

So here we go, below you will find some of the absolute reasons why men cheat on their wives!

Self Gratification - There are many men that need to fulfill their narcissistic nature by selfishly stepping out on their relationship in order to meet their personal needs.  I actually had a friend that had an insatiable sexual desire and in his words, “his wife would never be able to satisfy those needs!”  Sounds crazy, but true story!

Think they are not hurting anyone - Not hurting anyone!  I know, I know, but it’s the way a lot of men think. If their wife doesn’t find out about it, then it’s not hurting her.  Well, what most men that keep up their cheating ways find out is that the truth usually comes to light at some point.  And guess who always gets hurt?

Unhappy in Marriage – A marriage is a mutual agreement between two people and the truth is sometimes that agreement is not upheld and things start to be taken for granted.  In the case where the wife stops doing the little things and takes her husband for granted, a husband may attach himself to someone else willing to give him that attention we all need. It’s not right, but it is how it happens!

Peer Pressure – Many men like to convey a macho image around their friends, and their usually is that one friend that outs that pressure on a man to “pursue” that that co-worker that is showing interest! Surprisingly enough, so many men crumble to that “manly” pressure that’s that! Shameful, but once again true!

Opportunity – It has been stated that the better looking your man is, the more likely he is to cheat at some point.  Why? Well, the more times he is confronted with the temptation, the more chances he has to cheat.  Its simple math, so combine all the factors above with so many opportunities, and sometimes that perfect storm comes along and crumbles even the strongest will.

If you would like to read several more reason and in depth explanations, please visit why men cheat on their wives. 

I would love to hear your view and opinion on this topic.  It is provoking, but it does need to be talked about.  Good Luck!

Take the Poll on Cheating Men

Do you think these reasons have any truth to them?

  • Disappointing but I would have to agree with most of them!
  • No, I don't think so! It can't be!
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Comments 123 comments

privateye2500 profile image

privateye2500 6 years ago from Canada, USA, London

wow - if 95 people voted in this poll - I guess you are not allowing comments!

Melanie


dosborne08 profile image

dosborne08 6 years ago from Pembroke Pines, FL Author

Comments are always welcome!


Snow 6 years ago

The real problem is too often men are more concerned with impressing other men vs. their wives.


moidin 6 years ago

Some time when wife really trust the men ,than that men take the advantage of being an unfaithful husband .

He cheated all his life to his girlfriend than when he got married to a inocent girl he cheated all his life and than goes and marry another women and still cheating while visiting his children without telling the present women


becky 6 years ago

my now boyfriend was married for 29 years to a women,and cheated on her for 24 years of the 29,whenshe divorced him(for a different reason then cheating he tells me)he now sufficates me and tells me hell never cheat on me,because i give him what he needs,should i belive him.I know one thing though,if you spend 29 years with someone and they leave you and not the other way around,you stayed with them that long for a reason.


fynk 6 years ago

The internent has made it worse for cheating to go on. I don't think men are even capable of being in love with one woman, they do what pleases them. And when they are cheating, why is always some chick of lower standards, morals that looks like a walking case of Hep C and other STDs. Even my father, grandfather cheated with women who seem to only have a talent for laying on their back, drinking, smoking. When they are unable to care for themselves or hit some rock bottom, those scanks will be history. I think of guys who hurt me and will enjoy the inheritance and then maybe pass it on to a charity for victims of domestic violence.


Connie 6 years ago

I believe it's peer pressure plus the way in which this society is set up.The focus now in our society is pleasure for men and ONLY men.Men are constantly given the message that your not a real man unless you make a woman unhappy,unless you demolish a woman's self esteem and self worth.Men don't face the reputation damage which women do because men made the rules so women don't cheat for fear of being called a "slut" The real sluts have become our men.

How they even look at themselves in the mirror is beyond belief.I know women who are now with women because they don't trust men anymore.Women need a real partner.Until men realize this women will look for love from other women even if they are not a lesbian.American men especially are macho distastful brutes.


shocked 6 years ago

My man just cheated on me the other day while he was away at work ..I found out because the women found him on facebook and I had an hour long conversation with her while she thought she was talking to him...

He says he was sooooo drunk he cant remember doing it....Is that even possible? ? really? I don't buy it


Cheatergirl 6 years ago

People cheat because they are not getting all they need from one person. The sooner people stop believing they should be happy with one person for life the better off we will all be.


CHRISTY 6 years ago

I have been asking this question in my head all week long. I have been on both sides of this mess.I had a wonderful marriage and cheated more than once. Then when I was ready to be faithful and thought I had gotten away with it he starts cheating it hurts so bad because now I know I didn't get away with anything. I have no reason why I did it.


Family Member 6 years ago

I am not the wife, nor am I the child. I am the sibling of the cheater. And let me tell you, the pain a cheater inflicts when the truth comes out -- to say nothing of the shame -- lays a heavy burden on the parents, siblings, and other near relatives, as well. We're the unspoken fallout, the other people hurt in this self-absorbed, self-centered behavior.


poorsuzy 6 years ago

I just found out my husband of 8 years is not only cheating on me, but has another wife in another country. He always traveled for business, and I always thought it was just business, I used to sympathize for him working so hard to provide for me and my children. Now, so cold hearted he just told me he married another women!!!!!!!!!!


Ellen 6 years ago

Ellen

For 21yrs of marriage, So shock of my husbands' confession for these past days that he went to a massage clinic last end of the year and have some extra service. Can't believe he can do that to me because he's a very religious and a family oriented person. He even teaches Philosophy class in graduate school studies. I don't even bother him sometimes to have sex with me because i felt he is tired from work and considering his age. He could have done it with me.Maybe that time he just like to taste other women.Men really can't be satisfied of just one woman. I thought my husband is diffirent from most typical men. I'm thinking now that NOW is my time too to taste also for other men. I don't care now about MORALS for as long as i like the man and he likes me too then go.....we ONLY live ones, so i think grabbing opportunities now is my priorities. I'll just be more CAREFUL not to have HIV.


Lydia  6 years ago

My husband confessed that he cheated on me since we got married 10 years ago.I didn't believe it but it was like that.


samantha 6 years ago

You had me at "self gratification". It amazes me that this (cheating) is deemed an epidemic, rather than monogamy being realized as unnatural. The human race is simply not meant to be "committed". If we could all come to terms with this. We would all be more self sufficient and happy.


Passion 6 years ago

Everything that you mentioned may be true, but they are all EXCUSES. Men and women cheat because they want to. That doesn't even make sense that the more times someone is faced with temptation, it makes more opportunity to cheat. The more times should actually make it easier not to, if anything. Life is about choices and if a man or woman feels that the spouse is not giving he or she what they need then there are other positve alternatives. If that doesn't work move on. The problem is that people think about themselves and sometimes they don't even do that because if a person TRULY loved themselves, they would not sleep around with someone who they have no idea is disease free or not. Also, people should not get married in the first place if they know that they have no will power to be w one person. Get it together! Bottom line people cheat because they want to. I have been married for 10 years, I am fine, Men come at all the time and I think about how my husband will feel if I ever cheated on him and my kids. Vice Versa he chooses to do the same. We argue all the time, there is no justification in adding on and making more issues. Work it out!

PS! A man who cheats because of peer pressure may need help in many areas.


dosborne08 profile image

dosborne08 6 years ago from Pembroke Pines, FL Author

Hey Passion, I personally agree with you that it is a personal choice to cheat. However, I would ask if you thought there were some people that cheated when in a vulnerable situation (frame of mind, etc).?

Their rational thinking may have went out the window. The process we do to analyze the risks, etc of cheating is normal behavior. Thankfully for you and your husband that you have not experienced even a moment when that rational thinking goes out the window and impulse takes over.

I personally know very good people that have made one terrible choice that lead to cheating. After all we are all human and will make mistakes. I feel, removing yourself from a situation that could potentially lead you to making that terrible decision to cheat is just re-inforcement.

I would say, if your husband started hanging out every week in a club, drunk with only single friends; I would say just be careful.

His chances would have just increased that he would cheat on you. Its quite simple math. I am speaking from experience. It is quite simple to say something should be a cerain way in principle, and quite different when reality is involved.

I also know for a fact, that most of the men and women that are blindsided by infidelity thought 100% for sure that there spouse would never cheat. That's just not reality. The rising divorce rate would tell you so.

I too am one of the many that think my wife would never cheat on me with 100% certainty! Crossing my fingers!


Passion 6 years ago

Oh!

That's good and by any means am I saying that my husband will never do anything. Are you saying that going to a club will make a man cheat? If someone is going to cheat it can be done anywhere. I attend church on a regular and men come at all the time because my husband does not attend. There are times when I am pissed and going through with my man. There is nothing that will make me go against God's word or the promise that I made to my husband. Noone just slips into a piece of booty. It can happen at work, school, grocery store. Temptation is all around and nowadays it really don't take men or women much to cheat anyway. Wifee or Hubby can be perfect and do all the things right it still boils down to the same thing. AN EXCUSE. People just should not get into committed relationships if they can not be honest with each other. Even if you find out that your significant other cheated, it still does not justify cheating. Get counseling or just get a divorce. Cheating is grounds for divorce. I don't worry about it, but if my husband ever cheat on me, that is exactly what I am getting; that is one game that I will not play. I love myself too much.

To answer your question, i'm sure people do cheat when vulnerable. Unless. somebody drugged them they still know what they are doing before they do it and it is still a choice and an excuse. How does cheating solve the problem, it doesn't it makes things worse. Do you agree?


dosborne08 profile image

dosborne08 6 years ago from Pembroke Pines, FL Author

I do agree it makes things worse. All I'm saying is; would it be wise for a recovering alcoholic to hang out with friends that all they did was drink and hang out in bars all the time? Its just not a healthy place for them to be.

I recommend that both partners respect each other enough to not consistently put themselves in riskier situations.

At the end of the day, you are right that cheating is a selfish act that is only destructive to a relationship.

You also hit it right on the head when you say that cheating can happen anywhere, but what I think you are underestimating is the law of probability.

Basically there is a part that says something in to the effect of:

"...draw conclusions about the likelihood of potential events."

Certain environments and actions lead to a higher likelihood that cheating will occur. I believe in limiting that likelihood.

I think we do both agree on the main aspect of cheating, but I just have another take on how reality has a way of setting in.

If it wasn't that way, you would never have a wife or husband caught off guard because their spouse cheated.

You would just know who are the "bad" people and stay away from them. Its not always the case.

Many times its a person that was "good" up until the point they made that one "bad" decision.


Passion 6 years ago

Gotcha! That makes perfect sense. Well this was a very interesting blog look forward to more. Thanks for the fast feedback!


lone 6 years ago

my husband have cheated on, i just found out, his reason was that he dreamt about having sex, and went out and had sex with a hooker, hte first he was out of the county alone and he cheated,,,, he couldn't be faithfull to me, and his reason is stupid,,, i never before this said no to him when he wanted sex,,,,,,


dosborne08 profile image

dosborne08 6 years ago from Pembroke Pines, FL Author

Lone,

I am very sorry to hear that. I know you now have a very tough decision ahead of you. In times like this you will need to rely on a support system (family, very close friends, counselor, etc). You do not have to go through this alone.

I can also recommend you to a forum that I know has been very helpful to others. Just let me know.

My prayers are with you that you will find your way back to happiness.


Albert 6 years ago

This is WHY men cheat! Its in our DNA coding to try to mate with every female around us. We are animals. Plain and simple. Its to insure our survival as a species of opportunist. Evolution baby. We'll also EAT ANYTHING to survive. sex too


Jinna 6 years ago

men cheat because they are not satisfied nor in love..

my boyfriend is married since 20 years and he knew his wife 10 years before marriage.. i dated him for four years..he is twice my age! i loved him at the start but after a while i hated him.. i found out he is very selfsh and he does not deserve that i waste my time with him he will not leave her for me he loves her i think this is a lie.. on the other hand he does not want to leave me.. does he love me or her? such a loser

i desided to end it im not going to wait for his decision.

who loves does not cheat, if the man is in love and satisfied he will not cheat for sure


joyce 6 years ago

men by nature cheats but it takes good character which will not allow him to cheat,does the spirit of self-control.Hey ladies you got to pray for your husbands if

you do not want them to cheat on you and also make sure

he married you due to true love because it hard for a guy to cheat if he really loves a woman. And in case has not married you yet, look out for that true love before saying i do...............!


anomy 6 years ago

I am a husband and #1 applies to me, although I never had sex with any other woman but had a lot of sex chat with several women on internet. I still think I love my family and 90% of the time I devote to them. Still whenever I am alone and nobody's watching me, sex comes to my mind, I dream of other women, especially the girls I knew and met in the past. Then I go to internet chat and find a woman and talk a lot abt sex.....I guess at that time I am completely mad and if a woman proposes me to meet and have sex I probably will go.....

I am not sure how to change this behavior....it has absolutely nothing to do with if I love my family or not...it is all about self control for me....I have little self control when I am alone, temptation catches over me.....I wonder if I am the only one like that or several men are like me? Please answer.


dosborne08 profile image

dosborne08 6 years ago from Pembroke Pines, FL Author

Very honest reply. I have a personal friend that loves his family (wife and son) to death. But, once the cat is away, the mice will play. He is the most affectionate person with his wife and son. He does not let one affect the other. So, I personally that there are others that feel the same. May be wrong, but they do feel the same.

I personally think in your case, there is a hidden void that needs to be filled. For some God is what fills that void, for others its family. For whatever reason, your self gratification temporarily fills it. It may be something very deep that only professional therapy can help. Just my thoughts...


anomy 6 years ago

When you say "professional therapy", it seems you consider it as a problem, like a disease...is that right?


dosborne08 profile image

dosborne08 6 years ago from Pembroke Pines, FL Author

I definitely consider those actions a problem when married. I wouldn't have said disease, but there is a reason to why you are feeling and doing the things you described. I'm not qualified to say at what level the problem exists. I also wouldn't know if you really do love your wife and family. However, a professional may be able to pin point why you are having these compulsions.


Daisy14 6 years ago

After having just experienced the selfish act of a cheating husband recently, i was looking at getting some constructive thoughts from a male....well, just as i expected, a male has started a forum to not only give excuses as to why men cheat, but to BLAME everyone else for it...no wait...he blames WOMEN for it!!! Do you not think for one moment that women have feelings of loneliness or rejection in a marriage?? Do we not also feel like we are not getting enough effection??I am sure if you dare to seek this information, you will see that there are MANY WOMEN that are not getting the attention they crave/need/want in a marriage..the DIFFERENCE..is that we do NOT act on it and go outside of our marriage. We also are subject to advertising with men half naked with ripped bodies..we too watch football with men that have to die for bodies...and we may think to ourselves...I would not mind some of that...but we do NOT go there because we have the simple ability to know that it is wrong to act on something like that. YOU MEN do not, there in lies the real difference...men are not designed to feel REAL pain, nor have the ability to think of others before themselves. They are always thinking about themselves first, others later....perhaps its the Penis' fault? But i find it SO OFFENSIVE to suggest that men cheat because of advertising, the local check out chick, or the overweight woman you are probably boning over that is reaching for the skim milk! If you are so shallow to think that what you say is true, in your small minded male brain, then do not promise to give yourself to a women forever...do not take that step and hopefully that would have been one less woman that would have had to go through the heartache of this crap, the crap YOU MEN put us through...time and time again....no amount of sorry's and begging for forgiveness cuts it...the deceipt remains in your heart/soul and worst of all your head forever...its distructive...there are no other excuses other than YOUR NOT A REAL MAN.!


dosborne08 profile image

dosborne08 6 years ago from Pembroke Pines, FL Author

Daisy14,

I am sorry to hear about your recent discovery. The reason for this HUB was not to condone cheating, but to give insight as to "why men cheat" from an informed position.

Because of the forum, I have received plenty of feedback from both men and women dealing with infidelity. An excuse would be if I thought it was okay for men to cheat. I do not.

As shallow as these reasons may seem, they have been brought to my attention as "reasons" from real people going through real problems.

I have not gotten a chance to write the HUB entitled "The Real Reasons Women Cheat" but I will, and the reasons are quite shallow as well.

So I personally wouldn't put all men in this category just as I wouldn't do the same for all women.

I receive just as many emails from men that discover their wives are cheating as I do from women.

This HUB provides information that may be helpful to some. Learning where to spot potential dangers can help to keep you on your toes and possibly avoid being blindsided by cheating.

I hope that everything will work out for you in the long run. I know how difficult things are for you right now, but please be strong and KNOW that "it is not your fault" for his selfish acts.


malatji 6 years ago

it all come to sex.men can able to separate sex from love,which is different for women.we men love to adventure with sex.the truth of matter is that about 80% are addicted to sex and they'll use whatever to get it ,as long as our wives don't find out.there is nothing wrong with our wives,its how we are created and how we are socialised from young age.for men talking about extra partners is not regarded as weird.so we learn at young age to explore about sex,from porno to weird fantacy that would sound crazy to our wives.sometime we don't even know why we cheat,but men likes it.i guess to testosterone.im sorry women ,but that's true


Caretaker 6 years ago

After 27 years of marriage my husband cheated on me with an ex-girlfriend from high school the night I BURIED MY MOTHER! That's Right! His excuse..He felt I loved my cancer stricken dying Mother more than him. And what does his girlfriend do for a living? She's studying to be an Oncology nurse..a nurse who works with cancer patients! He felt that since I was paying so much attention to my other, he was online and texting his girlfriend. She lives 1500 miles away so at first I didn't think much about him talking to an old friend fro high school. But when we flew Mom to be laid to rest I guess he felt the need to be comforted by her. She treated him horribly in High school, but I guess they fell back in love over the internet. Of course when she flew here and he got to spend a whole day with her, she wasn't the love of his life...I was. He has now ruined a once (believe it or not) happy marriage. Until Mom got sick, we use to laugh and joke all the time. He now waits on me hand and foot, but now I don't care. Of course he says it wasn't worth it, and he wishes he could go back in time and redo everything..but he can't. I'm prettier (i am) I'm smarter and more compassionate. And he ruined a wonderful relationship for a skanky piece of ass and they didn't even use protection. Believe me nothing pisses off a woman more than fire crotch! I have 4 wonderful sons and 3 grandchildren, this has destroyed everything I hold dear. I feel like I've been hit by a truck..and the worst part...The other woman doesn't even feel sorry for what she has done to me. Of course my husband lied and made me out to be Attila the Hun!


Whyme 5 years ago

My husband of ten years cheat on me with so many women.From his classmate to stripper and his friends wives.

I sacrificed everything in my life move to USA for him.leave my own family my friend and my job so he can come back to USA take care of his poor parent.

He bought me here..left me here to take care of his parent and he went out of state working. Left me here put up with people who i never meet, left me in town that i never live in,left me deal with family that refuse to accept me as their in law,left me with ex-wife who never except that they are already divorce.

Left me here without transportation for me go anywhere for two years. I take every single verbal torture from his family and he never once try to protect me from them.

Years past by I live like slave in foreign country ,take every single hit that been throwing at me and how he return me?

CHEAT ON ME!

Caught him cheat on me many times but he still denied it even the evidence in front of him. I ask him what I did wrong,what did I not do for him that make him find someone else, he said I do nothing wrong, I am good lover ,good wife. I cook I clean and take care all of his need and I am the reason why he can get up in the morning go to work and he don't know how to live if I not in his life.

He said none of his family and ex can do thing that I been doing for him.Since I am sound perfect to him why he cheat?

This morning he left to work..(so he said) but actually he went to see other women who waiting for him in dallas. So if I don't do any wrong why he cheat?People said maybe because I don't take care of his sex life well..I treat him like a king but if that is not good enough why not he just divorce me and be with the one he been sleeping with.

This morning I told him I know what going on and i show him the text msg that the other women been sending to him..he said I force him to be unfaithful. so I ask what I do that force him to be unfaithful..he speak less. He have no word to say to me..why..because he have nothing!!! I am not perfect but I already do my very best as a wife as in law I even be his best friend..the only friend that he can cry on!

So people out there..pls don't blame on the wives when men cheat.Is hurt enough married to unfaithful men ,we don't need more condemn from anybody.Blame on the one who cheat and the on who have no shame to sleep with married men.


LEIGH 5 years ago

People who cheat are weak and insecure.

They lack integrety and genuine moral character!

There is not good reason to be lying and decietful!

If they arent SATISFIED at home I would bet NEITHER IS HIS WIFE, but, most wives are secure and smart enough to know, stepping out of the marriage isn't going to help matters!

Men, they think with their penis, so that's what gets them into trouble.


Jen 5 years ago

Women need to understand 1 thing----you may not desire sex from another man, and you consider yourselves faithful. Right? But consider this----when you get too comfortable by letting yourself go--isn't that a form of cheating your man? You want him to be the same happy guy at the alter that vowed to remain true to you. But you're not the same. When the senior citizens that have stayed together for 50 years tell you, "marriage takes work and effort" It's not just 40hrs on the job, yard work, cooking, kids.....it means still working on keeping yourself as beautiful, active and seductive as you were during the courtship. And you simply need to be uninhibited in the sack. If you don't like sex or know what you like HOW IS HE GOING TO KNOW? Tell him in EVERY detail what you want or think you want and liberate yourself. When I have heard women say---When it comes to sex I can take it or leave it. My first thought---She hasn't reached her highest level of great sex. Once you have great sex...sex becomes a regular thing you must have! Challenge your man to keep up!


Jen 5 years ago

Whyme

Giving up your whole life for a person is the wrong entry into a marriage. Sacrificing is apart of a relationship. But when it comes to only 1 of you giving up everything...spells GETTING DUMPED ON. A good/smart person would feel bad that the other person would be willing to give up so much and would quickly realize---this person is desperate. A desperate person means an opportunist. An opportunist that got the table turned on them by getting outsmarted by an equally desperate person. It was a lose/lose situation from jump. It's harsh. Women need to understand---most gentlemen today, know how to cook, clean and when to drop-off and pick-up their duds at the dry cleaners. Marriage should be like the EOE....otherwise the marriage will have 1 boss and 1 slave. Choose your mate wisely..ask questions and take no excuses for equality in your relationship.


Whyme 5 years ago

Jen

Thank you your advise.Just not agree with what you have to said about women letting them self go and not being seductive.For your information I dress my self up all the time.Even when I sleep I still have my make up on.Vaccum and cleaning house ,coooking with the high hill on and I still have the body that most people dieng for.My husband want me be wife in the kitchen,whore on the bed and superstar in public, I do all that but he still cheat so to me it doest matter how you look like or what you do ,when men cheat,they just cheat doest matter what they have at home.When you make a vow to love somebody for better or worst you should keep that forever.Is not right to cheat on the wife/husband just because they don't look or act like they use to be.If want to count on look and act..Well my husband and I look like a Beauty and the Beast but that doest make me to even think of other men. I am still here with him not because I am desperate but because the love that i have for him and the vow that we made when we got married.Yes is sound stupid to be in the such a screw up marriage but what else I can do? Is a death end to me.is 15 years to late for me to turn back.

And yes..now day ,most men know how to cook,clean and do their own laundry but that is not my men..my men cant even get him self a glass for him self.


Dizzy Dana 5 years ago

I find men get married way too young. Before they sew their oats. Most young men get trapped into marriage because their girl friend gets pregnant and they are pressured by their mate or family values so they get married before they really wanted to or are mature enough to realize what marriage means.


Billybob 5 years ago

I sewed my oats and I still look at other women and fantasize about what they'd be like in the bedroom. I think for some men, this is a lifelong endeavor. My wife has a "you can look but don't touch" policy but when I ogle, she gets offended. So in other words, it's "I don't like you looking and don't you dare touch, but I'll tolerate looking if you DON'T touch". So I ended up thinking that if I can't touch anyways, why tempt myself with looking?

I don't know. Monogamy seemed like a good idea when I met my wife 9 years ago - I was really tired of my philandering ways to be honest. But now, thinking about being with the same person until my dying day? It has pros and cons, that's for sure.

Maybe it's a grass-is-greener thing. There are pros and cons to being single and "free" and there are pros and cons to being married.

The main point is you can't enjoy the "pros" from both (have your cake and eat it) without people getting hurt.

Some have these "open marriages" but they are very rare and there is no definitive evidence that they can work. I don't think they can myself.


Mariam Bezabeh 5 years ago

Why do we in the first place get married? Isn't it because we look forward to being happy, loving and be there for eachother through all types of life situations - for better or for worse in this very difficult and hostile world of ours? Don't you think when we succeed doing that, we become so satisfied with life? Those who try hard not to hurt eachother, are they not the happiest? Isn't God pleased with such marriages and blesses them since He hates divorce? So with all these and much more, why can't two people try very hard even when things gets tougher? Two are better than one in this world I assure you. Try to separate for a while and get back together - or separate bedrooms, and then make it up again instead of hurrying to hurt eachother when mistakes occurs. Even if the the Fear of the Lord is absent in one person, the tendecy to cheat will be there. The result of cheating will only break heart of both. Since marriage is the first important institution given by God, Satan truly wants it to break it up because he does not want to see happiness in humans and children to grow in a stable atmosphere. Knowing all these, hold on to good marriage. Don't destroy it for a trash of an outside sex which only brings guilt and sadness.


NewMoon 5 years ago

I have friends who dated married men/women, their relationships had never gone any further. All the cheaters eventually went back to their spouses. Some of them had dated for 3 or 4 years. So if they said they loved you and they needed you, why they were back to their wifes and husbands?

Now I have the same situation, I'm dating a guy who is 24 years younger than me. This is different. I know all he wants from me is sex. And I quite enjoy it. Can anybody tell me that why he wants to have a relationship with a "cougar"? I'm not a rich women, I'm just looking much younger than my age. Ha knew my age since the first time we together (he read my profile in facebook). Now can any body tell me what's wrong with him?


Chris 5 years ago

I went out with guy for a month. I knew he had a wife and two kids. He told me he was intrested in me he told me I was attractive, At first we went out to the parks for walks and then went out to bowling, eat out. Then I decided to kiss him and let him touch me. No sex I knew better. He dicided to break up with me he just thought of kids and said to me it breaks his heart that hes doing this cheating. Told me he does not have feeling for me anymore. Now I just cant get him out of my mind thinking to myself why me why did I kiss him.Why did I go out with him. I knew it was wrong I just did it anyways Did I really love someone for a month and now I have to let him go. Why cant I think now its hard Help me Help me. any answers...


ACT 5 years ago

My husband cheated on me 28yrs. ago. It's only hitting me now. At the time I had a 20 month old child and was pregnant with our second. He would go out with his buddies every Friday night. He confessed to me about the one night stand, he was drunk and she was there. I'm really having some difficulties dealing with it now. Some 28 years later. Am I crazy or what. Noticed that he has been e-mail certain females and this is driving me crazy. What should I do???? I'm really obsessed. I guess when this happened to me 28 yrs ago I was focused on my children and not on him. How do I stop this obsession????


BigBean 5 years ago

I would like to add my ten cents if possible. I will confess to be an 'unfaithful' spouse. Married 25 years, have had about 10 different affairs, several with married woman. My reason for straying and as I've found in talking with my partners, yes we talk before, during and after sex, is because neither she nor I were getting sexual satisfaction with our current spouses, though admittedly we still cared for them.


Big L 5 years ago

I am in my 2nd marriage, my 1st on lasted 23 years. I've been in this one for 3 years but I'm getting a divorce and am going to just be single. Why? Because I finally realized that I don't want to be married. I've went the cycles of cheating, guilt, and remorse several times and I'm just sick of trying to be someon I'm not. The first time I got married because my girl got pregenant and I thought marrying her was the right thing to do, The 2nd time I got married because I was recovering from colon cancer and my girlfriend was there for me, so I felt kind of obligated. Now, I just want to live my life exactly as I see fit. I do believe that people can love more than one person and that's why I won't ever get married again. I also feel that if we are always honest with ourselves and our mates, people can handle the truth better. I've cheated several times over the years and have actually really loved the person I was with. So breaking it off with my outside lover has always been very painful for me. I won't be a Cheater anymore, I will just always be honest.... no matter what. When you let people know what they are dealing with, they can take me or leave me, exactly as I am, no lies or promises


Ananya 5 years ago

U know what for my husband all these reasons were true . I have a baby and she and my work takes all my attention. Though people talk of us as a couple, call us the best couple, i was shocked to find another woman sleeping in our bed when i got back from my mom's house unannounced. I was shocked and still unable to come out of it. Trying to understand why my husband (who's my best friend) did this to me. I know what u r saying is 100% true but don't think i will be able to get out of the pain i am experiencing. Sometimes i wish i were dead. Tried to buy sleeping pills but wasn't able to buy them without prescription. I m still very very hurt coz it all happened on our own bed where we made love daily. He apologized, but has not understood what i am going thru. He feels i shud just forget it and promised me it will never happen again. But i am not able to trust him. Don't want to get hurt again.


Me 5 years ago

Everyones gonna hate me for this but I'm one of the girls that's slept with a married man n still am. I'll explain why. I've known this guy since I was 6yrs old. We were always good friends n never liked each other or dated we grew up n lost touch  yrs later I found out he was getting married(this happened a little over a 3yrs ago). I hadn't spoken to him since I was 15 I'm 23 now but he got my number n called me to meet up wit him we started calling each other more often n hanging out, remembering the old times. I even met his wife! We became really good friends n we would all go out together. I figured she prob didn't kno I was going out to lunch dates wit him so I never brought it up. We would also chill in each others house by ourselves but nothing ever happened..N a couple months before his wedding date he started flirting wit me n giving me mixed signals. I was so confused, he had never shown that he was attracted to  me n all of a sudden he told me he found me sexually attractive. I admit I started flirting back. It was so weird because I had never thought I wouldve involved myself with him n I did! We both just felt so good n comfortable wit each other. One day I went to his apt n he was tired so he told me to just "lay in bed wit him" but we obviously didn't just do that. He started just messing around with me grabbing me and all of a sudden we started kissing! We didn't do anything else that day but I was so scared. His wedding came up n I didn't show up! We still kept seeing each other and everytime we'd go to each others apt we would go a little further we always tried to avoid sex but it was inevitable. We've been hooking up at least twice a week n it's been 2 yrs. Why does he do it? I asked him. Why he got married. And he said it was because he loved his wife and couldn't imagine his life without her but he also loved being with me. He feels stable with her but even more comfortable with me because I know things she doesn't and I accept him for who he his and he feels free with me and he knows I won't judge him for the things he does but his wife obviously will. We both just have a relationship based on sex while his relationship with his wife is based on love in his mind. I don't mind because I don't feel emotionally attached and we truly enjoy each others company. It's kinda like the new movie coming out with Ashton kutcher, no strings attached. Sometimes he starts getting lovey dubby with me but I always remind him were together just for sex. I think men honestly find sex and love in two different categories. They can have sex w/o love. And they can love a girl even tho the sex isn't that good.   


P AU P 5 years ago

JUST LIKE DOGS, A SIGNAL SENT TO OUR BRAIN WHENEVER WE SEE A GOOD LOOOKING LADY. HOWEVER THE MAN THAT DON T CHEAT DON T WANT TO LOSE EVERYTHING OR THEY ARE WORRY SOMEHOW SOMEONE WILL FIND OUT. FOR EVERY MEN OUT THERE IF THE OPPORTUNITY SHOWS UP AT THE RIGHT TIME AND PLACE, THEY ALL WILL CHEAT.....LADIES THEY IS NO EXPTION TRUST ME NOW OR FIND OUT YOURSELF IN 30 YEARS OR IN YOUR GRAVE


Passion 5 years ago

It is so amazing to me the shallow reasons that people cheat period. It is all selfish and it really is personal. It absolutely has nothing to do with the other person. I have been on both sides of the fence in the past. My excuse was that I was not getting what I needed and wanted from my significant other and truthfully speaking I wasn't. I was also getting treated extremely bad. However, if it was that bad, I should have left but I didn't because I was with him for so long the thought of being without him forever sounded devastating. My reality started off as a fantasy and I should have left it there. Furthermore, I had to live a lie because I would have never confessed that or I would have been dead or beaten really bad. The moral of this story is I TRULY loved him and I had never loved a man the way I loved him because true love is unconditional and I accepted all of his flaws do you understand me, ALL. Most people in bad relationships run at the drop of a dime but when it's real it doesn't matter what that person does you stay and try and work it out. (Talking about myself) but at the time I was thinking about what I wanted...Selfish...Lesson Learned... I will NEVER EVER (most can't say never if you haven't experienced being in a situation) do that again because I realized that it is not worth it and doesn't solve a d...n thing to go outside of the marriage, instead it makes the situation worst.

PS Spouses do not leave for good because someone came and took them away, if they leave home it's because it was already over.


ijeoma 5 years ago

a man who cheats on his wife has no self control. he is doomed coz he is bringing the wrath of God into his home. maybe we women shld cheat too.


mwami 5 years ago

men are just useless.We shall also start to cheat as wives we see were this will end to.We are tired on this rubbish


dosborne08 profile image

dosborne08 5 years ago from Pembroke Pines, FL Author

MWAMI,

I understand your frustration but I don't think that's the answer. There are plenty of men that do not cheat.

In fact, I actually get as much feedback in my forums from husbands that have discovered that their wives have been cheating. This Hub happens to be about "Cheating Men" but women are indeed cheating as much. It is an epidemic and with sites like Ashley Madison it will only get worse.

Thanks for your comments...


Passion 5 years ago

Yeh it is not worth it. Actually ya might catch a disease or something so think smart.


imstupid 5 years ago

False advertising, women and men change as soon as the ring goes on the finger women don't try anymore and men feel that when they meet their match its under false pretenses my advice is keep your guy happy by pleasing him and you wont be as likely to lose him. Women think once the chase is done so are they. no big shock that oral sex is the norm then goes away women dressing sexy goes away constant complaining increases and anything other than missionary is all of a sudden considered as they are being treated like a tramp. funny though they are all in while the pursuit is alive and well. My wife is an absolute slut in the sac and after 12 years i don't even look at other women because there is no way they would do for me what my sexy wife does for me. All of my married friends not some all complain that sex is once a month or less and they are a bunch of horn dogs. My cravings are well satisfied and i am happy with my marriage.I live to satisfy my wife sexually and we touch each other constantly. its really fun just try it. I suggest you try having sex 21 days in a row and you both will be hooked life is fun and it can be really fun in your own safe home.


dotty1 profile image

dotty1 5 years ago from In my world

Brilliant hub....I never get tired of reading about this, however I am still no closer to understanding why (nothing personal to you as your hub was just great) I just do not understand why men don't end things first or why they cant admit when they have done these things....confusing ...thank you for your hub ..new follower added :)


dosborne08 profile image

dosborne08 5 years ago from Pembroke Pines, FL Author

Thanks dotty1

Who actually wants their cake without eating it? I think its more than a "men" thing and is more like a "human" thing. Despite being wrong,this way of thinking is now amongst both sexes. I"ll write that other Hub later! :)


Ina 5 years ago

Granting that these reasons are true, would you still then say that the cheater has fallen in love


judy 5 years ago

Whatever the reason is, I think it is waaay beyond funny when they do get caught and it costs them big time...revenge...love it. They they crawl home asking for forgiveness..."Sure you come home and I will forgive you, but I will know every single step, phone call you make the rest of you life....which by the way won't be nice.


MlondiX 5 years ago

Hi! i need help pls do help if i just meet this divorcee 4 months ago, i am 26 he is eleven years older dan me, he said he has been cheating in his married lyf, and judging by d way he speaks, he's not committed to change coz he seem to be blaming his wife for not tolerating his 'nuisance' d way he puts it, he says a man is a man and cheating has always been there generation to generation and women shud just be thankful if he's a family man who works and provides for the family, and must not dig around stuffand search his cellphone like his ex wife did, he said it;s not about love but sex, men areforever lusty he says, he works 4 d foreign Dept and travels often and says they give thejm condoms abroad on conferences for if something happens, i'm the only child to my my single parent and i have a two yearold son from the previous relationship, this man wants to marry me asap, he just got divorced late last year, i'm scared for my lyf, he's got a close friend who's reaching his fifties but nevermarried and likes to party and often visits us with one different gilr after the other, i'm not sure if this is the man for me, am moreworried about my safety, i did HIV tests with him week after we met and we were both ok but am scared by his stateof mind though i love him lots.


SUE 5 years ago

I BELIEVE IF GOD IS NOT IN THE CENTER OF OUR MARRIAGE

WHY GET MARRIED. BECAUSE WE MARRIED BECAUSE WE WANT TO SPENT ETERNITY WITH THE PERSON AND WE LOVE EACH OTHER.


PeterGibbons 5 years ago

Most reasons offered in articles are way off-base. Especially the "biological" explanation - that it's in the men's genes to cheat. That's silly. The truth is much simpler: Men cheat because they like to and because the have the opportunity.


dosborne08 profile image

dosborne08 5 years ago from Pembroke Pines, FL Author

Hey Peter,

Thanks for your input. I would agree that they cheat because of a choice they make, but some men and women do cheat because of something much deeper than just opportunity. While its still wrong, I know it runs much deeper for some. I personally have friends that currently have the opportunity to cheat and choose not to. There are far more reasons than just opportunity alone. I like the discussion, and I love hearing the different viewpoints. We all have different life exeperiences, hence we all seem to look at the same things differently.


Chelsey 5 years ago

Proverbs 27:20 says,Sheol, which is the grave, and the place of destruction themselves do not get satisfied, neither do the eyes of a man gets satisfied. Genesis 3:16 inform all women what their plight was going to be due to Eve encouraging Adam to eat from the tree of The Knowledge of Good and Bad. Neglect, abuse, oppression, would be our lot if we as women get involved with men. MEN DO NOT, and CAN NOT LOVE WOMEN, examine the history of relationships. Don't become discouraged ladies,things are going to change for the better, until then draw close to the CREATOR He will comfort you, or us. PEASE


CHELSEY 5 years ago

MEN AND WOMEN CHEAT ON EACH OTHER BECAUSE THEY DO NOT LOVE ONE ANOTHER IT IS JUST THAT SIMPLE. WHERE THERE IS NO LOVE THERE'S HATE. I KNOW YOU SEE WHAT I AM TALKING ABOUT.


Cathy 5 years ago

Men cheat to just cheat. They are self centered humans, with no mmorels. There is no true reason. They do not like to use self control, which they do have. So many people over the yrs havr made excuses for their bad behavior, that they actually believe this myth. Silly guys are not smart enough to figure it out. Such a tiny thing to control. Tells you if they cant control that what can they control.


Chelsey 5 years ago

Proverbs6:12-15 says; a good for nothing man, a man of hurtfulness, is walking with ceookedness of speech, winking with his eye, making gestures wiyh his foot, making indications with his fingers. Perverseness is in his heart. He is fabricating something bad all of the time. He keeps sending out merely contentions. That is why suddenly there will come his disaster; in an instant he will be broken, and there will be no healing.


juggy 5 years ago

all women want to do is whine. You worry about whose fault it is. usually its both. Women get boring in the sack or don't want to have sex. I agree with im stupid i think its simple.Be adventurous have sex often and try new things or they will try them with someone else. I was in a sexless marriage I complained she blew me off now im still married i don't bother her about it anymore we don't have sex at all but i have a lot of great sex with my neighbor she likes the situation shes single doesn't want a mate just sex and she wants an experienced sexual partner who better than a married man. i think my wife knows she doesn't care. im happy so who cares if that makes me selfish than so be it. There is no cake and eat it too guys just want the cake just because you say I do doesn't give you women the right to change the rules i think it makes all of you selfish. no offense but i think the reason men cheat is because most of the time there isn't really much of a choice stay unsatisfied or fill the need. if you are hungry you eat it really is that simple stop throwing god around i know people who go to church and act right around their families and are some of the biggest pigs you ever want to meet when they think no one is looking. Hippocracy is as American as apple pie.


Daniel 5 years ago

i have been cheating on my wife via mxit and various chat lines available through cellphone technology, i do love my wife and kids very much but there is this void that i have always had and that is to try kinky things and when i spoke to my wife about it she always gave me the same answer "that's not me" meaning she is not interested, that's why i have gone looking elsewhere for the experience


juggy 5 years ago

Daniel,

i don't blame you for looking elsewhere I have done the same and find it satisfying and fulfilling have a ball life is to short women just love to whine and complain Lifetime TV is a channel where women can go and watch other women go through lots of drama it does quite well with its target demogaphic. I blame women for men cheating 100%.


ES 5 years ago

The reality is that relationships are hard work. Too often a woman gets married and believes that the hard part is over. A little bit of study into the way a man's mind works and you will see that men generally are very easy to please and keep happy. What it does mean is that a few old fashioned way of doing things should be brought back into the marriage. Looking like an over weight slob is not sexy, and no matter how much your husband loves you, he wants sexy when he gets into bed. Yes sex is important, very important, and yes you with holding it is not going to strengthen your marriage. No kids are not an excuse to place your husband second in line. No your husband does not want to see you looking like fright night first thing in the morning. My late husband was a serial cheater in his first marriage. He never cheated on me. I never let my guard down and I never took my husband forgranted or forgot the reasons he cheated on his first wife. There is a way to ensure your man stays faithful and it does start with a woman.


juggy 5 years ago

E S

you are on point, most of the time women change the game once they feel they have won (wedding day is really just celebrating the win). Men cheat because women quit. They can't help it men are forced by their competitive edge to keep reaching for something better.

my advice is to go forward without regard they are unappreciative and selfish.


mariefly 5 years ago

The main reason is... Men do not know how to love, immature and always mis-using their freedom.


5 years ago

No data to support. But i have a hunch and a pretty strong one and a theory to it, so help me. Lets break it down. When do men really start cheating. Lets take an e.g of a new relationship after a series of dates. When in a new relationship, if you assume your man doesn't check out other women, you are wrong. He does but he knows where to stop it. Trust me this is the case.Lets say this relationship ends up in a marriage. Brilliant, he now enjoys every bit of this new venture - may i add that at this stage he still has eyes for other wonen but it stays there. Then comes parenting, this is where the trouble starts. Before this stage a man enjoys atleast 95 pc of her attention, the moment she concieves the entire attention is diverted to the baby. Make no mistake, he wants it to. He loves this new life that will be born. Romance and sex start dying a natural death as the new born takes all the energy away (he respects that too). The child is born he is happy, life goes on. The problem here is - the mighty multitasking woman for the first five years forgets her husband completely.( I dare you to make an observation, it will open your third eye as well). In the midst of all this his sub-concious mind has come to terms that the fun relationship is over. He hates it and while all this happens both are still unaware of this. Trust me men like women don't want to hurt anyone - but they don't mind risking this now being-polite-to-each-other-relationship for a little adventure and that's where it goes wrong.


Ken 5 years ago

I am in this situation and I can say that many of the times, the women don't try to understand the men, be it sexually, work related etc....The wife is adamant that she is always rite, though its not always the case!! The women try to leave him (sometimes with a child) and the most penalised one is the Man of course! Women, you won't understand the true feelings of men!! unfortunates we are...


juggy 5 years ago

we all have to have the courage to be honest. when we have the forbiden thrown at us we resist, at first. we notice other women that is for sure but women act as though they are a beast of burden, not so. men have taken on many of the duties that were "women's work" women wanted liberation and rightly so. they also want the loving doting husband they had when he was also chasing the lifelong love of his life. i talk to a lot of men in my professional role. most women and men change and rarely are they changing in a like direction. Here is the real key if either takes the other for granted sexuallity suffers first and this is the easiest to remedy. WOMEN BE AWARE THAT YOUR SISTERHOOD IS MORE THAN HAPPY TO FILL THE NEED. I know this first hand i am not handsome but i am not ugly. women like cofidence and an outgoing nature most men have these innate personalities, they get these traits from playing sports, and being competitive and successful at work. the other thing to remember is that if a man doesn't feel he is being successful he will make a change and yes that means success at home, in the sack or if possible at work. My wife quit and once my kids graduated from college i left my wife and it was like a 126 pound weight was lifted off m shoulders she remarried and is divorced after only 3 years. I know her second husband and he couldn't believe i lasted for 26 years oh and the sex is unbelievable NOW.


Pialee Banerjee 5 years ago

I have married in the year 2009. In 8th September 2011, I came to know from my husband that he was in touch with his ex girlfriend via e mail since April 2011. He told me sorry for that. During that period I was struggling with my career. I used to get tired due to hectic schedule. I am very loyal to my husband though he is unable to fulfill my sexual needs many times. I have seen few e mails they used to send each other. I feel that his ex girlfriend is not satisfied with her husband so she tried to keep relation with my husband. However I husband might felt for her but he didn’t call her or met her. Now I am trying to find out that why he did that? Is he loyal to me? What I will have to do to satisfy him? Please advise.


Beauty q 38 4 years ago

Its true that men are never satisfied,selfish human beings and to m i swear never again will i ever give m heart to any man.My husb agreed she was having an affair boldly without any shame and went ahead to tell m that he is not defferernt from any other man who cheat out there.We've been married for five years with two lovely baby boys ,wev alwaiz been good friends before i realized he was cheating on m another woman older than m and he really work hard to take good care of us and wev never lucked anything.He has been working late hours and coming home drunk,he's very rude and doesn't care if am hurt since i found out that he's not faithful nothing i do pleases him and this hurts m deeply am going crazy one time i asked him if he still loves m and he did tell m that there are things he feel he shd assure m but not love bcoz we are not starting and he think we'v grown to more serious things


Enna 4 years ago

Me and my husband don't have a perfect marriage, we fight a lot, say lots of hurtfull stuff wich we don't mean etc. But even during our worst fights the idea of cheating never crosses my mind. why? First i know in my heart he is a great man and we will be good sooner or later. Second no other man can satisfy me better he just knows my body so perfect! I know he feels the same way about me and wont cheat even when we fight bad. I think despite all imperfections of our marriage we have two important things keeping us together- LOVE and TRUST. I love him with all my heart and don't even look at other men cant even think about having sex with someone else. But although i truly trust him and beleive he will never cheat i still have this fear in me that one day he will. Just because he is a male, and not a bad looking one, and opportunities are everywhere... Even thinking about it makes me feel horrible i know if it will happen i wont be able to get over and fogive him. We went through a lot together and i alwaus was there for him and we have adorable little son and i know my husband loves us to death and will do anything for us... But we just starting our life together and im just scared of what it will bring. If he will ever deceive me it will break my heart and i know i will never recover...


Tammy 4 years ago

My husband and I were married and together for over 11 years. Legally we are still married as he lives with another woman. After 3 years of marriage I discovered he had what I thought was a computer affair (turns out it was more than that). It broke my heart, after I confronted him he just went to sleep wow!!! We stayed together for many reasons (5 children, finances, love, my faith). Well 6 years later he stepped out again, and not with just 1 woman. I thought at first it was just a mid life crisis and tried to work through it, but it dawned on me it was just him. He is now living with one of the other women and was recently thrown out for cheating on her. He is such a smooth talker, he got go back there. This is just a brief synoposis. You want to know who got hurt? Well I haven't seen my two step children whom I raised for a few years in almost two years. My husband adopted my two oldest children and he refuses to see them since May 2010 because she tells him they are not his real children and he abides by it. These two children do not get to see their other two siblings (my step children) and only one child sees her father. He even let her come home with Christmas presents, nothing for the other two. My mother in law is at my house every week to watch my children as I now work three jobs to make ends meet (receive no support) and her and I are pretty close. I am not invited to her 60th surprise birthday party because he doesn't want me around his family. His family feels so uncomfortable with how and when to invite him or me. They tell me that they want me there but he is their brother. I completely agree with them. I agree with the comment that the family members suffer BIG TIME. My mother died 5 months after he left, he didn't even come to her service. I also disagree with the post that women should pray for their husbands. I agree spouses should pray for each other but I can tell you from experience that prayer DOES NOT overcome free will, which is God's gift to each us, free will. I was the dutiful wife, never said no to sex, had lots of fun with sex, willing to spice things up, worked full time, cared for the house, cared for the children (all of them, my three and two step children), paid the bills, shopped, and laundry, he had his life, nights out, fun with the guys, organized family trips, even dropped what I was doing and brought him whatever he forgot to work, and prayed for him every day. I was not the perfect wife but I certainly was the supportive wife.

Now I have had time and space since he left. I also am counselor by trade. God has a funny sense of humor. I have had men in my office who come in with so much pain. They feel unappreciated, unloved, feel as if they just don't matter to their wives anymore. The pain is real in their eyes and face. It is sad. I ask them if they have talked to their wives about it, the answer is always yes and something to the tune of "she tells me that I have to try harder." "She says that she is just tired and stressed out." I wish that my husband had came and talked to me, given me the opportunity to work with him and make our marriage better. I WILL NOT blame women for men cheating, but I will say that us women seem to place the full responsibility of the marriage and any difficulties on the man. We seem to think that because we do so much we are excempt. The truth is we do, do so much and we forget that our husbands NEED a part of us to. Often instead of flattering us, we feel resentful about this. Women seem to feel resentful because women do, do to much. There has to be an equal balance.


nosense 4 years ago

Men cheat because they know they can get away with it. The MAJORITY of WOMEN today have low self esteem, once the man knows that he will take advantage. If he can't make you number 1 I wouldn't settle. There are too many diseases out there today dealing with a cheating spouse. They cheat once will lead to a lifetime of cheating. The bible have stated that women would be foolish and I believe it. I know far to many who accepts a cheating spouse. Men nowadays will sleep with another man to boot. So sad. Glad I'm single!


Victim 4 years ago

I recently had to deal with this issue. My husband would go to chat rooms and sext other women. He recently went away for the weekend and made out with another women twice. He never had sex. Her husband threatened to tell me so of course my husband spilled the beans to me with a box of tissues. This article is so true. If a man is not satisified at home he will look for attention somewhere else. We are currently going through counceling and things are going good. Only problem i have to see this women every week at a school function. It is very hard for me to deal with!


U not Tarzan, I not Jane! 4 years ago

The male cheaters that I know of are cheating with married women who are, in turn, cheating on their husbands. Wake up fella's, it isn't all about you! Maybe YOU don't please your wife/girlfriend. Maybe we're sick of faking the big O!

My husband can't understand that he is just awful in bed and that he has grown ugly in that he thinks his antiquated 'pick-up' lines are amusing. They aren't, in fact they are just the opposite and I have gently informed him but he refuses to listen! And I don't know what is with the way he thinks he is entitled to grope me so frequently and inappropriately, sticking his hands up my top or down my pants any old time he pleases. He never even bothers to figure out if I am engaged in any activity, he just gropes as if he were Tarzan of the Jungle, and that I am Jane,who shares his jungle as servant. He has grown so disgusting I am planning to split up with him. Do not grab me as if you own me and do not grab me anytime you feel like it, especially not when you are blatently interupting me talking and when we are in public! You are obnoxious and demeaning! The minute we walk out in the yard he starts in with how I need to go in and get into the bed, as if the outside air brings that on! The same with going to a store. I think he gets his jollies being that way in public, but he can't even get it hard anymore at 59 years old. I do not submit to you, man, we have mutual sex! Well, used to when you could do it, but I do not obey you, no way!! Plus, STOP SMOKING, you putred chimney! Brush your teeth and shower before bed, too! Your breath from cigarettes and lack of brushing, especially after all that soda and candy you munch on all day long are having a field day with your looks and hygeine, so, bye-bye! Whomever lays you in your future life must be pretty desparate!


ChildOfGod 4 years ago

I think the ultimate bottom line to this cheating thing is that EVERYBODY needs Jesus. Without that personal relationship with Jesus and the studying of His word and abiding by it, people are bound to make STUPID decisions. It tells us in the Bible that we should not put ourselves into temptations' way. I know temptation comes our way sometimes, but we can avoid it even more when we don't put ourselves in its way. For example as dosborne08 has mentioned in one of his posts, the risk of cheating really does increase if the spouse goes to a club (that is generally where single people hang out to find someone to connect with). That's just common sense.

What I'm dealing with right now with my husband first, is that we are "unequally yolked". I'm saved and he's not. He chooses not to be saved because he has some habbits he doesn't want to get rid of that he knows God doesn't approve of. I knew he wasn't saved, but he is generally a good man and I thought since he made a gesture that implied he was changing for the better (willing to give up some of his worldly habbits) that we would be okay and he would eventually get saved.

His second problem that I truly DESPISE, is that he is addicted to porn; even to the point where he views porn more deeply than he views my body. It's backwards. This is one of the habbits I thought he was kicking when he got rid of all of his porn movies when I told him how much I didn't like it. Every since then, even after we married nearly 5 yrs ago, he sneaks to look at it. I caught him several times and each time he promised not to do it again after he cussed me and called me all kinds of names. Recently I found out he was vising Personals and chatting up other women asking them for a picture of them. What is up with that? When I confronted him, he claimed he had stopped doing it a couple of weeks before and that he only did it out of curiousity. I do not buy that for one minute. I told him that I will not tolerate that kind of behavior; it's bad enough that he still views porn. I told him that if he continues in that direction and I find out about it, that I was done (divorce). I have been a great wife to him in all areas regardless of how badly he treats me. He gets complete body massages from me almost everyday and sometimes twice a day. I have to beg him to just massage my feet and even then sometimes he puts it off and never gets around to doing it. I told him that he and I should go to a couple's retreat and get professional massages together, but he won't do it because he doesn't want anyone else to touch MY body. I also give him sex everytime he wants it; however he wants it. I never deny him. When I'm on my cycle I stroke him and sometimes twice or more in one night. I even go as far as doing some things that some people consider taboo to please him (even though he does not return the favor; hell, I like it too). The way I see it, if an excuse was good enough, I should be the one cheating on him because I am the one who is being deprived. But, I choose to walk the straight and narrow and continue to right by him.

I, like, Passion mentioned in one of her posts, choose to divorce if I ever find out for certain that my husband is cheating on me. He is actually my 2nd husband. I divorced my first husband because I got tired of him belittling me. I was married to that joker for 8yrs and 2 kids. Other than marriage (and my heart), I have no other ties to my current husband (he can't have kids). I agree with Passion, there is no excuse good enough for cheating; it is a contious choice.


Chelsey 4 years ago

The best thing any woman can do is 'NOT MARRY'! It is a TRAP! HAVING CHILDREN FOR THESE MALES IS ADDED INSURANCE THAT THEY CAN WALK BACK INTO YOUR LIFE WHENEVER THEY CHOOSE TO DO SO. I ADVISE YOUNG AND OLDER WOMEN, GO TO COLLEGE, IN OTHER WORDS STAND ON YOUR OWN TWO FEET IN EVERY ASPECT OF YOUR LIVES. THERE IS NO DECENT FUTURE WITH A HUSBAND AND AS FOR A BOYFRIEND YOU MIGHT BE BETTER OFF. DON'T MOVE IN WITH THEM DON'T LET THEM MOVE IN WITH YOU, YOU WILL FIND THAT YOU ARE BETTER OFF LIVING BY YOURSELVES THAN LIVING WITH SOMEONE YOU CANNOT TRUST.RELIGIOUS TEACHING ADVISE EVERY ONE TO MARRY SO YOU WON'T BE GUILTY OF FORNACATION. MOST PEOPLE ARE NOT MARRIAGE MATERIAL, GOD GAVE HUMANS THE DESIRE TO MATE AND I DO BELEIVE HE DOES TAKE IN CONDISERATION

THAT WOMEN ARE TIRED OF BEING ABUSED BY THESE MALES AND DECIDE NOT TO MARRY THEM. AND WHATEVER YOU DECIDE TO DO ABOUT YOUR PERSONAL LIFE IS BETWEEN YOU AND GOD.I AM NOT A MAN HATER I AM DISAPPOINTED THAT THEY ARE INCAPABLE OF LOVE, TRUST, ALL OF THE THINGS THAT MAKE A HAPPY FAMILY.


texastea 4 years ago

I"ve read a lot of the comments of why men cheat and have come to the conclusion that it's by choice! I was married to someone that I dated for 4 yrs and thought he was the one. I told him what I expected in the marriage and how I wanted someone that I could trust. He even said that if he ever thought about "stepping" out on me that he would tell me first. Well, that was a bunch of crap. The man lied through his teeth. I was a good wife and made it a point to be there for him always. I cooked, kept a nice house, homecooked meals , etc. I had a stressful job, but he was a priority. Not only did he cheat and I found out about it. He blamed me and did his best to make be feel less of a woman. It hurt me deeply because I loved him a lot. We are now divorced and he never really admitted to all the wrong that he did. I am doing fine without him, but the pain hurts me sometimes. I don't trust men really. I have seen the nicest men who I thought were true blue to the wives cheat on them. Some of my best girlfriends have husbands like that and they just accept it. I cant do that. I learned a lot about myself going through my horrible divorce. I learned that you will be treated in the way that you "allow" someone to treat you! I realized that I deserved someone "better" than I had. That keeps me going. My ex is still hoeing around and sleeping with women. He thinks that makes him attractive. It really doesn't. It makes him look cheap. When you really love yourself, you wont pass yourself around like a dish rag. I have a lot to offer to the right man, and hopefully I will find one. But until then, I will wait on God. I love my life now and it feels good not to have "drama" in it. The life of worrying if my husband is coming home or if he sleeping with the hoe down the street is over. Yes, cheating is a choice, and bad one at that.


navjoti 4 years ago

my husband also cheat me while i am relation with him after marriage, he like me and his parents agree. i am happy with him. we decided to marry. but after one month of the marriage, his behave change, i compromise with him, but i don't think about his another girl friend. one day when i check my laptop, then i am surprised his pic with another girl. i am


bree 4 years ago

man cheat bec they want to, they think they are the only ones with feeling. my husband sleep with me sometimes when he feel like and when i ask him to have sex with me he will said, his having thing in his mind. So i think woman should stay alone just make children and live a separate life for good.


Sasha 4 years ago

Men get way more lenience and books in their favor laying blame on the women for their actions. It's horrible.

It's not the woman's fault and society encourages this behavior.

Women have turned into complete catty sluts too. No problem pretending to be the woman's friend and sleeping with her husband for the thrill.

Narcissism is on the rise and perhaps men need to stop cheating on their women and blaming them or they will lose the one that they really love just so they can treat some other woman like a blow up doll.

Men also need to become better fathers. I've seen WAY too many women raising their children alone or even if they are married still raising that child alone. Taking the child out to the playground so daddy can do what he wants to do.

Fathers don't chime in much or even have much fun with their kids.

I see way too many mothers taking on that task alone.

Men, grow up.


LIN 4 years ago

I have been spending a lot of time trying to figure out why after 31 years of a happy marriage 4 kids and 5 grand kids my husband goes to a whore. This has been a terrible blow to my self esteem as this happened just after I went through cancer treatments and had a radical mastectomy. He said at the time that he would rather have me healthy and said all the right things then but I don't feel that this was a sincere. Admittedly I wasn't as energetic in bed during that time and lost my hair, but I did have reconstructive surgery. Talk about narcissistic!!!!!! I have always cooked wonderful meals kept a clean house, been ready to be a lover at a moments notice and developed an interest in his interest which he certainly never did for me. Yet he still says I am the only one for him and the love of his life. I guess I need a different dictionary as his definition certainly is mystifying to me


LIN 4 years ago

I think that men cheat to feel young again or recapture some sort old feelings and memories of events that he thinks has passed him by. Or maybe its simply selfishness and narcissism.

After 31 years of a happy marriage (or so I thought), 4 grown kids and now 5 grandchildren my husband started to be fixated and visiting whores. I couldn't believe this of my husband as he has always been a wonderful husband and I was the envy of every woman who met him. I believed I would be able to tell if he was lying, but guess what I can't. Or he has developed the lying skill to perfection. I always told him that I was the most blessed woman to have him.

We are a Christian family, in fact he has a degree in Christian Education which I guess he has forgotten. This started 5 years ago when I went through late stage breast cancer. While he always said that the mastectomy didn't bother him and I later had reconstructive surgery he began looking at porn on the internet and later to contact some of them. During the chemo and radiation treatments he somehow expected me to still center my life around him. I always had but now was extremely tired and sick and couldn't do things. This didn't bother him because he just went and did things without me. He said all the right things like he would rather have me well than have a perfect body, or that I was still the most beautiful woman in the world. I have been cancer free for 5 years now which means that I am pretty much cured. So I survived but our marriage is damaged forever. I think I would have rather died this would have looked a lot better from Heaven. He used it as an excuse to do things that he never had done before. Talk about being narcissistic!!!!!

These trips to whores are also expensive and he has drained a lot of money from our accounts. Money that could have been used to do more exciting things for the 2 of us if excitement was really what he was after.

He has said that this started 2 1/2 years ago because he realize that he was getting older and having to take Viagra to do what he used to be able to do naturally. This to me is showing intent he didn't just become tempted momentarily, he had to plan the event. He also had placed an ad on dating sites, some of which are specifically for married people to find someone to cheat with. I never would have dreamed that these sites existed but there are hundreds of them. I am really getting tired of his excuses that this just happened accidentally. all of this was absolutely and carefully planned.

Through out our marriage I always put his wants and needs first. I cooked wonderful meals, cleaned his house, raised his children, was ready to make love at a moments notice and developed interests in what he was interested in. This a lot more than he did for me as his interests were supposed to be more important than mine. or even become my interests and dreams. I guess the joke really is on me not only did he take pretty much of all time and money that I knew about, he also started supplementing his selfishness with a secret life.

As you can probably see I am devastated by all of this. Now that I know what he has been involved in I keep discovering new horrible things he has been into. We started marriage counseling as his suggestion which was going very well. I was greatly encouraged and feeling better when just last week I found out about yet another whore that he had been seeing. He has also continued to make thousands of phone calls and text messages which I consider an ongoing emotional affair. So what is the point of marriage counseling if you continue with the same things?

I will not seek a divorce as I wish to save our marriage but the trust that I had in him is obviously gone and I am left with the realization that I do not even know my own husband. He states that all of this is done but I just can't have much belief in what he says as he lies like a pro.

Somehow society has produced a generation of men who are selfish, narcissistic and have the attitude that if it feels good do it. HOW SAD


Cam 4 years ago

The honest truth-and i'm a guy-is that a lot of times it isn't necessarily the woman's fault.

Its just that the male is built like a tiger per se; when he's hungry he just wants to eat. And i know what you're thinking: "that's a stupid analogy." but if you disagree, i'm 90% sure you're the female gender. Because if you're a guy, you know i'm right (for the most part). Don't get me wrong, there's a lot of guy's out there that can contain themselves. But very, very few.

I'll tell you like this: i've never cheated on a girl. And i've been in 2 serious relationships with the combined time of 5+ years. But the reason for me not cheating is quite simple. The opportunity never presented its self. Not saying i would have gone through with it, but i cant say that i wouldn't have.

For the record, im a good looking guy. Lol


LINDIN4 4 years ago

To respond to Cam I again can only say HOW SAD!!!!! More importantly your reason for not cheating is lack of opportunity would suggest that you have kept yourself out of places of temptation.

I am a firm believer that even the most committed person can be tempted so if you want a relationship to work you do not put yourself out there in temptations way. Everyone meets people that they could be attracted to. it's a choice to not act on the impulse.

Believe me my husband is now willing to jump through hoops if he could take back that moment when he made the choice to cheat. It's not worth the lose of your spouse, kids and the loss of standing with our friends and extended family. I am struggling with a deep sense of loss and the feeling that I have no idea who this man was. Was it worth it? I DON'T THINK SO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

FOR THE RECORD, I am also an attractive person who takes great effort to look her best and I have had offers but again, IT JUST WASN'T WORTH THE RISK OF LOSING WHAT I HAVE!!!!!!!!


Mezpah 4 years ago

I am married for 21 years already and I thought my husband was faithful- until last year a rumor spreadlike a wind within my officemates that my husband had an affair. I tried to confront him and he simply said to me that "just because he is handsome and she is pretty and that they have always gone out snacking together does not mean that they are already having a relationship"!!!! At first I believed him but when signs showed: he wakes up very early- he smells good always!!!- goes to work as early as 6AM, does not eat breakfast,lunch and dinner with us and he comes home very late at night. His celphone was always lock. I beg for sex because he would always say his tired from work. I was really playong dumb! I am pretty= many guys would flirt on me but i did not give them chance to distroy my marriage. I was devastated when my husbands "querida" or mistress texted me!!! I thought I would kill him but thank God- I was;nt. I kick him out of the house and made him realize how great and big his mistakes are. Now his like a tamed dog always beside me because I believe that if my husband is not happy with me any more then there is no use of staying together- forgiveness is easy to do but forgetting his unfaithfullness is very difficult. I am christian and I am just obeying God's command in I Cor 7- " that if thehusband wants to come home then let him" - God will do the rest. He who started the good work will be faithful to complete it in me.


Nathan 4 years ago

I have always said some men just can't resist, it is almost like a disease they have... I'd also say that 9 guys out of 10 would cheat if they were put in a position where they could.


dosborne08 profile image

dosborne08 4 years ago from Pembroke Pines, FL Author

Nathan,

Just curious...in today's society, what do you think that number would be for women?

The reason I ask is because, now I get just as many emails from men asking for help for their suspected cheating wife or wives that have been caught cheating.


Hansum 4 years ago

it is said "TRUST TO THE EXTENT THAT ONES CONCIENCE DOESNOT ALLOW TO CHEAT YOU AND LOVE TO THE EXTENT ONE FEARS TO LOSE YOU". But what has happened is TRUSTING HAS BROUGHT TO THE EXTENT THAT SHE DOESNOT DARE TO CHEAT. This is because the affair is deep rooted one. Ignore and go on becuase she loves so much (may be pretending) and takes good care.


del garcia 4 years ago

my husband cheated on me with his office mate.i just found when she was 3mos preg. i feel like i was hit by a truck or something that i feel so painfull.whem i compronted him he told me he doest love that girl.is that true?is it possible?ahould i believe him?


dosborne08 profile image

dosborne08 4 years ago from Pembroke Pines, FL Author

Del Garcia,

You say you "found out". Did he tell you or did you find out by catching him? If he confessed I think it means more than if he just got busted. Either way, the determining factor will be if you are someone that could potentially forgive him and one day be happy again. If not, you may be faced with the difficult choice of leaving.


Yvonne 4 years ago

I kept asking my husband if he was having an affair for the last 6 years ..... I just never asked the woman i thought he was having the affair ??????

That woman is my 40 year old daughter ( His step daughter) We have been together for 26 years!

We have now split up, he is living in a flat she too has her own flat but does not want to live with him????

I caught them by coming home earlier than expected from work!

I will never speak with either of them again ..... Oh by the way hes is in love with her, YES that made me feel better about their relationship!!!


John 4 years ago

I'm married for 17 years & had been cheating on my wife & my girlfriend had been cheating on her husband. Why does this happen to me??. It's because my wife is cold towards me out & in bed. Whenever there's a chance, my girlfriend & me would go for holidays & pampers me like a king & never felt this way before. She's happy & so am i. Just for your info, she's older than me by 9 years but we are a happy couple.


Grow Up 4 years ago

How amazed to hear a complain from a man that felt cheatting was the only way to fulfill his desires. My man never fulfilled one thing that I always wanted from our relationship for over 20 years. Will this desire become one of my excuse to go and find Mr wonderful to fulfill that need? NO, and why...., simple, because it is hurtful, worthless, ugly mistake and it is going to put an end to everything.

I guess being miserable in your own cell will bring up those temptation feelings of cheatting.

My guestion is: Can you keep the communication alive with your partner? Say, who cares, I like it anyway and just be happy with what you have!

Good luck with finding your happiness.


jan 4 years ago

Been married for 31 yrs. I caught my husband cheating on me 3 times now. 1st time with someone at work..2nd time he was talking to many girls the 3rd time my sister caught him and went up to him the day he was out with another woman this just happen last week but the last time when i caught him he told me he would never do it again..I'm asking what do I do this time....I'm so pissed off and thought things was better but its not, he told me he does not know why he does this because he wont's me and is real happy with me and I please him so I don't understand why if a man loves you why will he cheat?


dosborne08 profile image

dosborne08 4 years ago from Pembroke Pines, FL Author

Jan,

In some cases, the men really believe that their wife would not leave them, for whatever reason (kids, monetary, etc). If he believes this, and I am not saying he does, he may feel that he does not have to stop doing this.

I feel he has to have some fear in his heart that you will leave, before he stops his behavior. And if he does not stop, then leaving should always be a serious option for you to consider.


Carlos 4 years ago

Men cheat because of indiscipline and this makes temptations harder to resist. Once it becomes a habit, it is harder to control or change as sex itself is a form of natural drug, often making otherwise reasonable people misbehave. Also, in the absence of true love, cheating becomes even more rampant


C.J.R.Raz 4 years ago

I saw something recently and started me worrying about "what if my partner cheated and gives me HIV" u completely entrust ur body and life with ur partner..... I live in a small town and mentioned that to my friends, which they will talk to their partners..... im paranoid and im now going crazy thinking what if that gets passed around as chinese whipsers in this small town and ppl think I actually have something I don't! ahhh all of it drives me crazy! Im going nutso recently


sweetsweet0116 4 years ago

this thing is complicated, i guess cheating is what a person choose to do this have nothing to do with been attractive or someone is attractive, so you cheat.. it does not matter who you see or how you feel i guess its what you want to do is your choice offcourse we are all humans and we will always see attractive and un attractive ppl around us, but it deppends on your need, or your thought...


two double betrays 4 years ago

My ex and I broke up 1 years and half ago as I stop trusting him for giving me a sign of infedality. But because I wasn't sure whethever it was truth or not, i decided to give him another change and to be more trustworthy.. Therefore, we have been on and off for one year and half.. and all this time he was engaged to another women wihtout telling me, and in the last month before his weeding he told me that he was going overseas for work.. And guess what he was going to marry and to his honeymoon... by letting me thinking that he was going for a business trip. But because I sensed something was wrong i discovered that 26 days after sleeping with me HE GOT MARRIED... and now I am completely feeling guilty for not being smart enough to understand that he had somebody else.. and feeling horrible towards this poor girl that thinks that he is a good man and a good husband.. I don't know what to do.. I moved on now.. and I cannot belive that people actions can be so discusting


Guest 4 years ago

Guys from his work egged on my ex-husband to cheat on me-thus, he is permanently my ex. Guys from our work egged on my boyfriend to cheat on me-he too is an ex now and doesn't work very often.

This scenario has happened more than twice. My marriage counselor thought the male relationships my husband developed after we married were more personal than ours was. Creepy.

I see normal married and steady couples without "third wheels." Why can't single guys hang with their single buddies? I think they are jealous and want to ruin other guys' relationships so they can have new playmate. I always did fine with my boyfriend or husband until some pushy guy would come along from work and beg my husband to go out with him while pretending I was not standing right in front of him. I hope Karma has come back to haunt them all for pushing my mates to cheat (like they don't have enough temptation as it is).

Bottom line? I hear this same story at work every day when guys are talking to the guys. They would rather risk their marriage, homes, families, and even jobs or retirement to be prove that he is promiscuous to other men. How insane is that? Do they cheat on your taxes too, and take the chance every year of going to jail for fraud? If your friend wants you to rob a bank on the way to find some strange, are you going to do that too? How are you going to explain how your got laid, rolled, arrested and then lost your license in matter of a couple of hours to your g-friend, wife, boss and family? That takes some planning and intent. If you lack integrity and responsibility, get some professional help instead of shady "friends." One could help you keep everything you worked for, while the other could have you lose it all.


Shambala 4 years ago

I do not know why do they cheat their wives. I think his wife is not giving all what he needs. Sometimes,women are guilty of this omission. They do not fulfill men desires. For this is the cause of unfaithfulness that has risen in higher rate of divorces.


rodriguez 4 years ago

i have been married for 40 years and in all that time my husband cheated on three of those years that I found about. He stated all those times that he never cheated but the truth came out when those women actually contacted me to tell me this. I have proof, but he still kept deneying it. Now a company he works for he travels with a woman, on June 20th he will have to spend 3 and half hours with her because the schools have half days and he didn't think it would be good to come home first and then go back to pick up the kids , so there will be a 3 1/2 hour that he will have to spend on the bus with this aide till the kids get dissmised . He has admitted that in the past half days he also stayed to wait but took this woman out for lunch. But it doesn't take 31/2 hours to take lunch especially if they go to the mc'donalds. I already asked him what does he plan to do all those hours with her. He said take a walk in the park next to the school. I don't trust him and don't believe that that's all he plans to do. Especially after all those times he cheated on me and every time said he would never do it again. My intuition is telling me different. Is my intuition correct?


NOT ALONE! 4 years ago

TODAY'S WOMEN FORGET ! SEX IS PART OF A HAPPY MARRIAGE. THAT'S WHY MARRIAGE IS NOT GOOD, THAT'S THE FIRST GREAT COMMUNICATION FEELING AND EMOTION THAT DIES OUT . WHICH IS SAD REALLY.


Levertis Steele profile image

Levertis Steele 4 years ago from Southern Clime

A major reason men cheat is that society has for ages excused their cheating and made them feel that they are ENTITLED to sex variety: "Variety is the spice of life," "A man will be a man," "Men are like dogs, they just can't help themselves, social mating is their nature, "

"A big man like him needs 3 or 4 women to be completely satisfied," "Women need to try to understand that a man is physical; women are emotional, so, they can be good wives."

Many men marry knowing full well that they will not be faithful. Because of this growing attitude about sex, marriage, and infidelity, women are also growing more and more promiscuous. In the process, marriage is becoming less and less honored as a respectable institution between a man and his wife.


Levertis Steele profile image

Levertis Steele 4 years ago from Southern Clime

Men and women should always look their best, care about personal hygienes and appearance in general. Even so, this will not keep a mate from straying. A cheating spouse will cheat no matter how beautiful a wife is. Many a beautiful woman has cried her Mascara down her cheeks after learning about her husband's infidelities.

It is not always true that a man does not get all that he wants from his wife. Many women go over and beyond to please their husbands, and the men still cheat. Some men will always use excuses that blame their wives. They will never say, "Honey, I am just whorish," or "Honey, I am greedy." Many of these cheaters turn their attention away from their wives because they cannot handle both women. Men do not like to admit that they are not super jocks. When they fail, they blame their wives instead of admitting that they are human. When they are around the guys, some brag about their virility, and most of it is exaggerations or lies that they have blown up to make themselves look like stallions on steroids and hormones.


Levertis Steele profile image

Levertis Steele 4 years ago from Southern Clime

Some girlfriends do talk about their marriage problems when they really need someone to listen. This may not be advisable, but it happens often. I have had friends to tell me that their husbands did not please them sexually, but, because they loved them, they did not cheat.

My first husband never pleased me and did not teach me anything. He was my first love, and complained that I did not know anything. LOL! I did not have a teacher. Can you imagine how I felt when he made me feel that I should have been more skilled even though I was inexperienced? I loved him dearly and had no desire to cheat even though I was not pleased. That was love and respect for marriage! But, I later realized that he was immature, selfish, and did not know much himself. He cheated overtime, and said that I should understand that men do that. He said that he loved me and was just having fun with the other women that he played with but would never marry. He also said that he knew what he was doing when he married a green, country woman. That was an insult, not a compliment. We divorced after four years.


absolutely true 3 years ago

there are just too many LOW LIFE GARBAGE MEN out there nowadays, making it harder for us innocent men that are just hoping to find the right woman today and have a life together.


chslsey 3 years ago

Proverb 2: 22 reads, as regards the wicked, they will be cut off from the very earth; and as for the (treacherous) they will be torn away from it Males will not escape punishment for destroying their families. So, as women let's not become like them. Psalms 37: verse 10 reads; and just a little while longer and the wicked ones will be no more.Verse 11 reads; The meek ones themselves will posess the earth and they will indeed find their exquisite delight in the abundance of peace. Based on Bible chronolgy this happinesse is very soon to be realized. So ladies if you just have to be with a man don't expect anything good from him. Until next time.


rick 3 years ago

i have always said that behind a cheating man is a women home not giving him any sex. or they say if you do this or that maybe tonight. notice that the key word is maybe. but it never happens. they fall to sleep, or even worse you know they don't want to, but they will do it anyway. no thanks. keep it. i don't think that having sex once a week is asking to much. i was married for 20 years and if we had sex once a month it was plenty. but in all fairness we did have children. but i just got out of a 5 year stint with a girl and it was the same thing and all our kids were grown and gone from home. i myself, i don't cheat. but i can't say i didn't think about it from time to time. to me, it is to much of a pain in the ass. it's like burning a candle at both ends. what i am saying ladies, if you don't want your man to cheat, then take care of business at home. there is no person i would rather have sex with then the one i love.....


LIN 3 years ago

I don't think I have read the reason that my husband gave for cheating after 30 years of a pretty great and happy marriage. Yes we had plenty of not just great sex but also wonderful lovemaking, by his own account. He said that he started to have trouble having sex as he got older. He needed medication and soon injections to achieve erections. He also told me that "I had no idea how horrible it was to lose this as he got older." I was well aware that things had changed in the bedroom, as I had always enjoyed an active sex life. What I am still struggling with is the feeling of betrayal for a few quick (expensive) moments with a whore. Would this really help him feel more like a man? This is better that a woman who loved him enough to stick by him through the years and all the changes that come with getting older.

I stayed with him (3 years later) but am still struggling with trust issues from his infidelity. He really lost a lot because it used to be that I believed him no matter what he said. All for a few moments with a whore who would tell the next man the same lies as she told my husband


Selina 2 years ago

My name is Selina, I'm 47 years old my husband and I have been married for 28years June 5 I found out he went onto a local dating site (match.com) I don't know all the details however I loved him more then I loved myself,I could'nt have loved any one more. He just threw me away into the trash. I don't have any friends and have no one to talk to,my family tries to support me,they love me very much,and I love them all very much.If I could say one thing that is to don't stay in the past move on be strong there will be some one who will love you for who you are.


juggy 2 years ago

when a man cheats there is a reason especially if married.

1) If you refuse him in bed

2) If he feels he is just a paycheck

3) Boredom

4) Nagging

5) poorly kept house

6) depression

7) no feeling of being desired

8) Letting ones self go we all grow older and our bodies change but it doesn't mean he needs to see sweat pants and an old t shirt every single day

9) loss of self respect

NO WHINING EVER !


lori 2 years ago

My husband of 7 years and we dated for 5. He cheated on me while dating. He says once the women says about a year n she wasn't the only one I'm guessing. By things familiar. I'm his 2nd wife. And he too cheated on his first. (my bad I guess is HABIT). However , the look on his face to me seemed so real my dumb ass let him come back and we married. About a year ago he began to as they say help his best friend by chatting to his girlfriend about how she feels and why she is angry at her man. (So they said) however. He began working out of town. Long story short it used to take him 1 1/2 hourS to return to. 5-6 even 8. Or he said he. Was still working n spent nights at his moms. I see now is why he made his family n I fight to keep me from where he wanted to be was with her ...his best friends women. So I ask this. I booted him to the curb. He would not leave wanting to sleep on couch or garage. He constantly begged to be here with me stating he wasn't seeing her sleeping with her just hanging out it made him feel kid like we are in our early 50s. Her, early 40s. She was my friend as well not anymore. Now its been about 2 months he has a new 4g phone it a tell on u phone learn to erase it all. And by god own ur freeking mistake as well. Its bad enough we have been put thru years of LIES N DECITE BUT to candy coat ur bullshit and keep LIEING only makes us THAT BITCH you hate. (sorry) well he is talking to her I kick him out he tosses this at me.... Mind u they rnt sleepng together right.... He says " Honey I wouldn't do any of that now you are being nice and giving me what I was looking for" Telling me that yes they did sleep together they were saying I love u in texts on his phone I found N not accident I don't think. He isn't careless. And I'm a women I don't love anyman u less.we are sleeping together. Or have loving feelings. After a year ...really . So now what I fry to leave he asks me to stay I kick him out he begs me back. Why doesn't he just get along get with her and be that and some with this crap. If I'm not making him whole she is . Bye... I don't understand that part. And frankly I'm so hurt and imbarrasedd that I go no where. Nor do I want him anymore. He is.comfertable I think. I give in. We have no kids N no common property. Fact he so busy with us both god knows of he really has any job. I'm just not getting this whole mess HELP.


Gigi 2 years ago

I lived with this guy for two and a half years. He was the love of my life. We broke up and he married someone else. My heart will never be the same. I ran into him a year ago and he was with his wife. I congratulated them both and told them I was happy for them and I really was. He has not stopped texting me since. They were only married 6 months and he was hitting on me. Now he's cheating on her with me. He comes over once a week sometimes twice and its been going on for 6 months. Is he happily married? Does a happily married man cheat on his wife after one year of marriage with his ex-girlfriend who he lived with and once loved? Did he do this to me? I'm not happy with his actions or mine and I know he could care less about me or he would be with me but I don't understand the whole cheating thing. I know we are both wrong.

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