You are no more the light

Despair -by Jean-Joseph Perraud
Despair -by Jean-Joseph Perraud

You are no more the light



You are no more the light I first perceived in you,

But now the phantom that invades my sleepless nights;

No more the staff you proffered when first we spoke,

But now the heavy stones that weigh my pockets

As I wade into the icy sea of my despair


You were my lifeline; my floating branch

That offered itself to my clutching hand,

My weakening grasp.


You were my oasis in an arid wasteland;

But you were yet a shimmering shade,

Unsubstantial as the spectre that visits me

In my darkest night,

That croucher by my lonely bed

Who offers empty promises to my desolate soul.

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Comments 27 comments

toknowinfo profile image

toknowinfo 5 years ago

This hub is beautiful. I felt compelled to read this poem over many times. You write from your heart and it touches deep within my soul. Thank you for sharing your wonderful creative talent.


BenWritings profile image

BenWritings 5 years ago from Save me from, Tennessee

Wonderful! Sounds like when we only see what we want to see in people, until we learn what they were, and are to us. I have been there many times.

Beautifully written Ian.


AngRose profile image

AngRose 5 years ago

I love this Ian. Beautiful and poignant. True genius. xoxo


Twilight Lawns profile image

Twilight Lawns 5 years ago from Norbury-sur-Mer, Surrey, England. U.K. Author

Toknowinfo, I am flasttered and abashed and pleased, all at once. Thank you from the bottom of my heart for your lovely comments.


Twilight Lawns profile image

Twilight Lawns 5 years ago from Norbury-sur-Mer, Surrey, England. U.K. Author

Ben, you do see right to the heart of the matter, don't you? Actually, it was in reading some of your more poignant love poetry, that made me realise that this would be accepted... Thanks for being an inspiration, my talented friend.

Ian


Twilight Lawns profile image

Twilight Lawns 5 years ago from Norbury-sur-Mer, Surrey, England. U.K. Author

Bless you, Angie, my dear friend. It is a bit bitter, but that's the way I have been feeling, and although it was written a couple of years ago, it fits my mood. Thanks for your ever welcome comments.


Twilight Lawns profile image

Twilight Lawns 5 years ago from Norbury-sur-Mer, Surrey, England. U.K. Author

Toknow info, if you ever come back to this hub, please realise that I may be able to write the odd bit of poetry, but I'm a complete retard with the spell check. And I need it so much with my crap typographical skills... Of course I meant I was flattered by your lovely comments... I've never been flasttered in my life, until now!


BenWritings profile image

BenWritings 5 years ago from Save me from, Tennessee

Twilight some of the things you say/comments you leave give me great encouragement.

Have you checked out my latest hub yet? It's one of my important ones.


Twilight Lawns profile image

Twilight Lawns 5 years ago from Norbury-sur-Mer, Surrey, England. U.K. Author

Ben, I try to read everything that you write, because I know that I will be impressed by it, but I don't know about you, but sometimes HP aren't notifying me about every person I follow.

Have you looked at 'Winter's Come' yet?


BenWritings profile image

BenWritings 5 years ago from Save me from, Tennessee

I just got home, and was about to read it. I left my dad's house after I posted on this one.

My most recent hub is my most important one thus far, and I am hoping every one of my followers will see it.

I'll go check out winter's come. :]


Randy Behavior profile image

Randy Behavior 5 years ago from Near the Ocean

This put all kinds of pictures in my head; thanks.


Twilight Lawns profile image

Twilight Lawns 5 years ago from Norbury-sur-Mer, Surrey, England. U.K. Author

Thank you Randy Behaviour (Notice the spelling? It was automatic, and I almost went back and changed it, but I thought it might make you smile). I hope those pictures really worked for you. Thank you so much for dropping by and reading my stuff.


Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 5 years ago from TEXAS

Ian! I just saw the reference to this poem at the bottom of the page, "Winter's Come". I came, I read - and before even writing a word in praise of this one, I clicked the UP, Awesome and Beautiful buttons. It is exquisite, terribly sad, but it says sad as no other! Describes that feeling of desolation perfectly.

Sounds as though someone really built up expectations and then didn't live up to them for one reason or another. It's happened to most of us at some time or another. Somewhere along the line, amid some really seriously heartbreaking experiences, I finally learned that the real problem is EXPECTING. Well, that's not quite it. I do expect: I expect people to do what they must, according to who they are and all their other pressures impacting them. And I realize I wouldn't want them to betray themselves, would I? Nope. I've learned to love them for exactly who they are and to be truly happy for what they choose and are able to give to me. I know I'd not want to be burdensome; - that would only fray and really become disappointing. Loving is a moment to moment reality or it is no reality at all - and that's as it should be. So is life a moment to moment reality or it is no reality at all.

And it is good.

You are such a poet, my dear Ian. What a guy!


Twilight Lawns profile image

Twilight Lawns 5 years ago from Norbury-sur-Mer, Surrey, England. U.K. Author

Nellie, I sometimes wish I had your sanguine outlook on life. I am not a sweet, lovely person as you no doubt are. I am murderously possessive and optimistic, so that when I feel myself betrayed it hits me so hard (There's that anomaly, again; but one can't say it hit me hardly - That is a bird of a different feather).

I have massive highs and lows. I am not bipolar (well not officially) but my despair is nadir like and my highs are so high that I have to employ teams of Sherpas to bring me down at times.

Hey ho!


Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 5 years ago from TEXAS

i am not just a sweet lovely person, actually. I am not very possessive but I am very optimistic. I like to define mine as realistic optimism and optimistic realism. The overall effect, fortunately, is that realistically - optimism works. And, for sure, I've had to balance extremes in myself all my life, too. And - I rather value the ability to feel really high or low. The highs are so creative and productive and the lows force a respite. And I've simply recognized that those are both temporary realities unless one chooses to hang on to them for some reason. Being busy living my moments to the fullest provides a reason for letting go of what has passed, rather than investing the present in prolonging it past its validity.

But I love you just the way you are, murderously possessive and all. However, I just needed to clarify how I am, since the impression seemed to be a little too quick to simplify and stereotype me and I'm nether of those. You may even have noticed. :-)

Yes, being hit hardly would be like being hardly hit - the opposite of the meaning in context. After all- language is for expressing what is meant, not what is not meant, so grammar has to allow for those things.


Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 5 years ago from TEXAS

nether = neither (though "nether" may apply as well! hahahaha)


Twilight Lawns profile image

Twilight Lawns 5 years ago from Norbury-sur-Mer, Surrey, England. U.K. Author

Oh my goodness!!! I hope Lynne Truss isn't following either of us. If she read your last sentence in your penultimate comment, we would be in for a very hard time.

Eeek!

No, my dear friend, I never for one minute imagined that you were Mrs Sweetness'n'Light. You are far too interesting for that to be the case.

I am completely opposite to you inasmuch as "The highs are so creative and productive and the lows force a respite" must be replaced with: "The lows are so creative and productive and during the highs I am a complete nuisance. I'm so childish and enthusiastic.

But i go from laughter to tears several times in a day. I am the most difficult person to live with.


kallini2010 profile image

kallini2010 5 years ago from Toronto, Canada

Oh, Light and Darkness!

The hand, the water, colour blue, the light...

All my favourite elements in one picture... As much as I should stick to the mood of your poem, I would rather imagine this fellow surfacing than drowning, reaching out to the light than giving up...

From light to darkness, from darkness to light...

Drowning and surfacing, forever goes the cycle...

Yet, forever is such a long time, for as long as I live...

"The black moment is the moment when the real message of transformation is going to come. At the darkest moment comes the light." ~Joseph Campbell

You don't need anyone else to be the light, you have the light within (we all do).

"Someday perhaps the inner light will shine forth from us, and then we'll need no other light." ~Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

And this one is my absolute favourite:

"Love is not consolation. It is light." ~Friedrich Nietzsche

You might as well write a poem on any of those thoughts following your heart and light.


Twilight Lawns profile image

Twilight Lawns 5 years ago from Norbury-sur-Mer, Surrey, England. U.K. Author

Is that a challenge... I am a person who is frightened by challenge, unless it is from within. I am always afraid of not coming up to the mark.


kallini2010 profile image

kallini2010 5 years ago from Toronto, Canada

No, it was not a challenge, it was a suggestion. You are only afraid, but I routinely don't come up or live up to the expectations. I am serial (no, not killer!) underachiever - which is a killer!

I want to write on my childhood failure that sort of haunts me until now and it somehow shaped my personality or at least I think so. "The Balance Beam Syndrome" - I never could master it. I always jumped off.

All my life is a continuous, endless "Balance Beam". This time I was pushed off it. "You are no good! Off you go!"

Don't think about failures! Failure is not trying. Fear is a failure, the rest? No, let me rephrase it. There is no failure, there is learning. Attempt #1, attempt #2, attempt #3 (three is a charm, or a chasm, does not matter), attempt # 2042...


Twilight Lawns profile image

Twilight Lawns 5 years ago from Norbury-sur-Mer, Surrey, England. U.K. Author

Harking back to my Mathematics Diploma, I was doing a case study on "Mistakes" in Mathematics, and to tart up my project, I was looking through quotations involving "Mistakes". I found:

"The man who never made any mistakes; never made anything else". I love it.


Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 5 years ago from TEXAS

Luckily for me, I'm no slave to Lynn Truss and suspect that neither is she. :-) We, both of us, are interested in clarity in communication, first and foremost. Would be fun to discuss it all with her, though. Maybe she could join us at The Pot?

Since I've no living husband, nor am I Hindu, I'm a living 'Ms. . . .' now! ;->

Regarding the productivity and creativity quotients of our respective highs & lows, I suppose it matters which KINDS of creative & productive output one prefers at any given time. My first word @ a few months old, according to what Mother wrote in my baby book, was "pretty". So I suppose I'm genetically saddled with a love of what it beautiful, though I admit that beauty can be found & developed in areas other than sweetness & light. I've explored some others - spontaneously.

Nothing wrong with going from laughter to tears and back often. One who does so is blessed with emotional versatility, capability and release. I both laugh and cry frequently myself within any given time; - and thoroughly delight in it. I'd feel severely deprived otherwise.

Luckily for me, I can enjoy and appreciate you and your sparkling facets from a safe distance, since you are, by your own account, "the most difficult person to live with"; - though I've known and lived with someone with extremely high marks in the "being most difficult" department and barely survived it.


Twilight Lawns profile image

Twilight Lawns 5 years ago from Norbury-sur-Mer, Surrey, England. U.K. Author

The first words that I uttered, unlike yours, were in Barohi, or Baluchi... Certainly neither my mother's Welsh nor my father's English. Panic set in, in the Burra Sahib's household, when it appeared that the Chota Sahib appeared to be "going native".

That was one thing that the British in India were terrified about.

There had been a head of the East India Company or a Viceroy who had "gone native" years back and it was "awful, my dears, bloody awful".

The chap should have been horse whipped on the steps of hos club, don'tcherknow?

That's why I was taken away from my Ayah as soon as possible.

Gracious!!!

(Translations readily available at Twilight Lawns plc)


toknowinfo profile image

toknowinfo 5 years ago

I smiled at the flasttered, but laughed that you have never been flasttered until now. Perhaps the typos have to do with the 7 fingers we discussed when I wrote my hub about the meaning of 100. In any event, I hope you will forgive me for errors I make too. Keep writing, I enjoy your hubs immensely.


Twilight Lawns profile image

Twilight Lawns 5 years ago from Norbury-sur-Mer, Surrey, England. U.K. Author

And I enjoy your visits, ToKnowInfo. I hope I never let you down... but if I do, just let me know (but gently; I'm a very sensitive bunny. I get flustered if I get caught in the headlights of disapproval).


toknowinfo profile image

toknowinfo 5 years ago

I would never hurt your feelings. And I really admire your writings, and the things you have to say. Who am I to show you disapproval? I prefer to be your cheerleader. Besides, I would rather you be flasttered, than flustered.


Twilight Lawns profile image

Twilight Lawns 5 years ago from Norbury-sur-Mer, Surrey, England. U.K. Author

I'm laughing out loud (I don't do LOL).

Bless you, ToKnowInfo, you really make me laugh so much.

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    This is one of a trio of poems that come roughly within the category of “Poems of Despair”.

    The other poems can be found at Winter's Come. and 'Chasm'

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