Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus

How to Understand a Man

The above statement can be said to be true. 'Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus.' When dating or in a relationship or even in a marriage, a man can appear to be from a totally different planet from us women! They can appear to be insensitive, careless and heartless if you do not understand them. After years of trying to change them, I decided to take the time out to study some of the differences between a man and a woman. This is what I found.

1. God created Adam to be a man and Eve to be a woman. That means not only do we have physical and biological differences, but we also have emotional and mental differences. This can be hard to accept, especially when you want to get your own way. For example, us women like to be chased after even when we say no. For a man no means no. They will only pursue you for a time before giving up and move onto someone else. Men crave love and hate rejection.

2. God made women to be a helper for a man. I don't mean to be a slave but to assist him in life. Men desire to be supported and for a woman to cater for him domesticly to show love along with intimacy. Through the fight for equality with men, women have taken on the role of the man in the household and some have even become the breadwinners. I did this in one of my previous relationships. I made the mistake of showing I was self sufficient. For a man to feel worthy we need to take a step back and allow him to be a man and not try to make him be a woman!

3. Men like to be the provider. If a man is not providing, he will feel inadequate. They like to have money in their pockets as it makes them feel responsible. They like to be in control of their relationship and without money they feel they have lost that control. I once did a study on domestic violence and discovered most men who were violent, whether emotional or physical, was because they felt insecure in their relationship because their female partner appeared to be better than them.

4. What is important to a woman is not necessarily important to a man. As a Christian woman I learnt over the years that some of my behaviour in previous relationships were the cause of many arguments. I wanted everything to be kept in the same place at home where I had put them and everything to be done in the same way that I did them. A friend once said when she goes away and leaves her husband to run the house, she does not criticise him for the way he has done things. She looks at the kitchen which he says he has cleaned and says 'well done you've done a good job,' even though the cooker is covered in grease! Some things we have to let go of.

5. Men handle their emotions differently from a woman. Just because they are not crying, it does not mean they are not hurting. When a man is unhappy about something they will usually just say what the problem is and resolve it there and then. Woman we tend to nag and nag until we get nowhere. We need to take him at face value and move on.

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Comments 1 comment

Binnie 6 years ago

I think you make some really valid points here Fiona, based on experience and common sense.

I personally think that things have changed and not always for the better. It's very confusing for women, who have been forced into a position where they have had to become all things to all people. They raise families alone and take responsibility on so many levels that it becomes very difficult to let go of that and allow themselves to be taken care of and loved without fear.

In the post feminist world, it's been difficult to find a middle ground for men and women who have been raised with a set of values based on different rules. I remain hopeful that the world will catch up with itself and our children are able to find a way to make relationships work with a mix of old fashioned values and modern reality.

My fear is that it might take a long time yet before we find that balance that enables men to feel they are accomplishing their role in a way they feel confident about and women are able to release some of the responsibility without feeling they have relinquished the power they have worked so hard to gain.

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