Bowls of Steel
Some of the most moving and teachable moments come when you don’t
expect them. In a way, it’s almost like a sneeze. It comes out of
nowhere, but it wells up inside you and then demands to be released.
Often times, it can be awkward (and sometimes painful) but you feel
relieved for having gotten through it and releasing the impact of that
moment.
I had such an experience today as I sat down to read “A Simple Christmas” by Mike Huckabee. As
most of you know, I had the opportunity to meet him (again!) at his
book signing in Indianapolis. This isn’t his first book, but it’s the
first book of his that I have read (thus far). While waiting for his
arrival, I eagerly began reading it. Some of his stories are little
humorous while others are more serious. Today, I read one of those more
somber stories and the impact of it kind of snuck up on me (but gave me
much to ponder and reflect on).
Mike Huckabee
really knows how to tell a story, and the story I just read had to do
with his Uncle Garvin. He shared about the good times he and his sister
had with him and how they always looked forward to his visits. Uncle
Garvin was a bachelor, and fairly well off (and always dressed in a
suit). He described him as having to answer to no one, and being very
independent.
He said all of that changed when Uncle Garvin found
out that he had cancer. In those days, it was pretty much a death
sentence (and such was the case for him). Uncle Garvin ended up living
with the Huckabees for the last few months of his life. Mike said it
was such a difficult time. Being twelve years old, it was a hard
adjustment to have to give up your room and help take care of a person
who is having his life stolen from him before your very eyes. He said,
“In so many ways, I became a man that year. I was forced to face the
realities of death and the uncertainties of life. I saw life in its
ugliest form, when a disease robs a person of his strength, his pride,
his privacy, and his ability to choose even the simplest things. More
than being robbed of my youth, I was endowed with an extra dose of
maturity and adulthood the very year I would become a teenager, 1968.”
Though,
as often times is the case, it’s the hardship that most shapes your
character, deepens your faith, and molds you into a better person. He
concluded the chapter with these words: “My sister and I didn’t get
much that year for Christmas. We had been prepared to not expect much
because all our resources needed to be used to care for Uncle Garvin
and there really wasn’t time for much else. But in many ways, it was
one of our most meaningful Christmas experiences ever, not because it
was a happy one, but because it wasn’t. It was meaningful because
through it we learned that the real meaning of Christmas is not giving
toys but giving God’s grace in person to someone who is no longer in a
position to give back. It was a very simple Christmas, and maybe the
best one of all.”
The whole time I was reading that precious
story, the tears were just streaming down my face. The way he recounts
a story with such depth, detail, and emotion always touches my heart.
He truly has a way of connecting with people, and it’s no doubt because
of such wonderful people, like Uncle Garvin, that shaped his heart and
life. Every experience, whether pleasant or painful, has developed his
character and enabled him to “pay it forward” to others. I admire
people like Mike Huckabee, because they never waste a moment. They
cherish every experience and hide it in their hearts; sharing it at
just the right moment with others so that their lives might be touched
and blessed.
Oddly enough, my kids were watching an episode of
“Arthur” on TV as I was reading that chapter. Amazingly, it happened to
be an episode where the characters were dealing with the fact that
their beloved school lunch-lady was battling cancer. One of the kids
ended up writing to Lance Armstrong for help with coping with their
friend’s disease. Lance made an appearance in the episode and offered
his own advice and shared his story. I just found it stunning that God
would bring two stories about cancer, perseverance, and love to my
attention at the same time. I never saw it coming, and it was a tender
and heart-wrenching moment for my sensitive heart, but it was such a
blessing.
When you ponder and empathize with a person’s story,
you open yourself up to sharing a portion of their pain. It changes
you. It shapes you. It helps you to examine your own heart and gleam
from their stories life lessons that can help you on your own journey.
For me, it spoke richly of compassion, love, sacrifice, and faith. It
also reminded me of my own “Uncle Garvin” (in my case, my Uncle Brett).
Like Mike, I deeply enjoyed the few times a year I got to see my Uncle.
He was a bachelor too, and was always doing his own thing. And, like
Uncle Garvin, he struggled with the inevitable drawback of independence
which is loneliness. Mike Huckabee said that Uncle Garvin would bang on
a stainless-steel bowl with a wooden spoon in order to summon them to
his room for whatever need he might have had at the moment. He said,
“It would be years before I came to realize that he didn’t strike that
bowl and have us running to his side simply because he wanted us to
refresh his water, fiddle around with the covers on his bed, or
rearrange the newspapers in the room. That bowl was a cry for something
far more important; it was a call for the presence of another human
being in that room so that he wouldn’t spend those awful and painful
waking moments with a condition worse than a cancer --loneliness.”
These
stories were a reminder to me of just how precious fellowship is and
just how thankful I am for the blessed family and friends in my life
who bring me so much joy! It also reminds me of just how great the need
is to reach out to those that aren’t so blessed, and who are battling
loneliness, grief, and illness. Some of them don’t have steel bowls to
bang in order to be heard. For many, their cries are silent for
whatever reason. They go unheard and unremembered; or we just become
deafened to the sounds because we shut them out for any number of
reasons. It reminds me of all the people I saw in the nursing home when
I used to visit my great-grandmother in the last year or so of her
life. They were aching for attention and fellowship; a simple smile, a
kind word, a tender touch. My kids would excitedly run down the hallway
as they smiled and watched. Some of them desperately begged them to
stop because they wanted to talk to them, touch them, look at them (fee
free to read/re-read the blog I posted about that and
how Casey was a model example of compassion and love). Such simple
things, but so necessary and fundamental! It was heartbreaking to watch
them (and my Grandmother) sit there in the nursing home; just WAITING
for those occasional opportunities for human contact and interaction.
We underestimate just how precious and important it is! I’ll never
forget how Grandma looked at me one time and said, “Never end up in a
place like this.” Even though she was blessed more than probably most
of the people there (because she had a lot of family that cared for her
and visited her) it still had to be incredibly depressing and lonely. I
can hardly imagine, and it makes me feel all the more blessed (and all
the more guilty in the times I indulge in apathetic pity-parties in
what I think are my “low” moments).
As we all approach the
holidays, I will do more than remember these stories. I will try to
make the most of every opportunity I have to answer the call of a
banging bowl. Not only does it mean the world to those who are trying
to sound the alarm with their wooden spoons, but it has an everlasting
impact on oneself (just as Mike Huckabee shared). You never know if
it’s going to be your last moment (or theirs). That’s why it’s
important to make every moment count and to have the greatest impact
possible! You never know when it’s going to end. For my family and I,
Uncle Brett was taken so suddenly and tragically (by accident). For
Mike Huckabee, it was gradual and they had to watch the process of
death unfold before them each and every day. I don’t know which is more
painfully difficult. I don’t think there is any way to compare because
each situation is a unique horror all its own. Though, we all stand to
gain the same opportunities, which are to grow in faith and maturity
and to learn to appreciate and love both friends and strangers even
more (which C.S. Lewis talks about in “A Grief Observed”. I HIGHLY recommend reading it!!).
Pain
is a raw thing. Like anything that’s raw, it can be a hot and time
consuming process to go through the heat and the flames that sear our
hearts. But, as one of our pastors always says: “Feel the heat; face
the fire; find the gold.” As we feel the heat and the pressure of each
trying situation, we are obligated to face them. If we boldly confront
the pain and embrace the gold we are meant to find in it, we will be
all the richer for it. The heat isn’t a pleasant thing, but through it,
we are refined and “steamed to perfection” and it “brings out the
flavor” of our character into a better and more savory taste. We have
more to offer the world after going through such times of testing, and
it’s in that way that those times of pain can be a gift. Though, it’s
up to us to make the most of it. It reminds me of a forward someone
shared with me about an egg, a carrot, and some coffee grounds. Hot
water does different things to each of them. Some are like the egg and
they become hardened. Others are like the carrot and they become mushy
and fall apart. Still others become like the coffee grounds in which
the hot water brings out their flavor and the process ends up producing
a beautiful end product. With each object, the effects of the hot water
can’t be avoided or undone. The object will forever be changed after
coming into contact with the hot water. The only choice we have in the
matter is our reaction to the water. So, the question is, which of
these three things will we choose to be?
Grace and peace to all
of you, my dear friends!! May you all be blessed as you face each day!
Every day is a wonderful new day that the Lord has made; one to rejoice
and be glad of, regardless of our good or bad circumstances. We have
the promise that everything will work out (Romans 8:28). Embrace it and
believe it! Cherish every moment and make the most of every opportunity
(and may you never look at a steel bowl or wooden spoon the same way
again). Above all, allow each experience to shape you in a positive way
that will glorify His Name! God bless you all!
- BibleGateway.com: A searchable online Bible in over 100 versions and 50 languages.
- Mike Huckabee
- Huck*Pac
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