Drops of Dharma 2.0

Achingly empty isn't as bad as I had thought it would be...
it leaves room for so much more that can be added to me-
good things--not so good things...
it's either endless or it's not-does it matter?
Standing on the crumbling edge of today...
wondering if the sudden plunge into tomorrow
is going to hurt or if the fall will be
accompanied by a sly snicker of derision!
To cling or not to cling...That is the question...
Whether tis nobler...oh wait...can't steal words
now can I? or can I?
Achingly empty isn't so bad for a life to be-
lots of room for lots of things;
shattered dreams--broken hopes--unfulfilled desires...
but then again-on the flip side of it all-
neverending bliss--blossoming joy--growing kindness...
No more concern over tomorrows...
just reveling in this amazing now we are in!

Slowstepping into the sunlight bright of Mind ...
dropping away all of this and that -
letting go of wanting and clinging ...
and when it is all far behind me
I find my way is not just mine.
The realization of all suffering as it is
and this as well is not mine alone.
The one I pass in the dead of night
has shed the same tears of rage and pain -
has shattered silence with laughter ...
The One whom I know as well as I know
my own self or the one whose name lies
clouded by mystery and ignorance both ...
they both have traveled this well worn path also.
Knowing the suffering of this whole world
is shared and experienced by all -
How can i not feel sympathetic loving kindness,
And strive to commit no harm?

Searching for the fragments and shards of time,
days and hours, minutes and seconds, entire lifetimes ...
Those gone by, and those yet to come;
and I come up gloriously empty-handed
once again, and I wrap myself in well-timed laughter!
I had constructed a cage from all of MY time -
a place to hold myself still and silent -
but it never turned out to be either -
and I was forever chasing down stole moments,
frantic that soon I'd eventually run completely out;
and forever crying over the ones
I never did manage to catch, but stood
at the edge of reason
watching them fade into obscurity.
Now I'm driven to the brink of not quite sane -
bitter and slyly self indulgent
as I set my sights on times yet to come ...
and imagine the puzzle of my days
as it falls together piece by piece,
creating a mystic mandala of insecurity and uncertainty,
a picture of the cave I've happily constructed.

There's all sorts of nothing inside of me ...
valuable vacancies ... emptiness of infinite worth;
transparent to intent or desire.
this is not emptiness I fear or regret ...
this is not a mosaic of misery or pain;
it's emptiness so vast and deep it seems
eternal and unchanging -
and capable of holding infinity
within it's timeless embrace woven
from diaphanous hope and sharp edged
shards of shattered dreams.
This magnificent void ... so transparent ...
this sunyata ... it gives the promise
of never lacking ... never needing ...
NOT the emptiness of nihilism or fatalism;
but the emptiness of the drinking cup,
the emptiness of the axle hub,
that which holds the promise of never
being used up ...
There's all sorts of nothing inside of me ...
eternal emptiness ... Indra's Net stretching
taut to catch me when I fall ... fall victim
to my own lack of comprehension
and I find myself consumed by laughter
while playing on this celestial trampoline!

Another night has passed me by -
no footprint - no solitary thread hanging
on broken twig to show the passing -
no trace whatsoever at all ... except
for a veil of memory colored like regret.
Languishing away hours - years - hopes ...
and all there is ...is all there is!
No matter - sunrise is as beautiful
as sunset ...
and the laughter is just as rich
at either time of the day!
Another day has passed me by -
no memory of it to speak of ,
no half-painted picture of it left
to gaze at wistfully and full of woe -
no trace whatsoever at all ... except
for the smile my son gifts to me
when I kiss him awake and hold him
closer than my own life ...

There's little time to waste on this...
slowly drifting... dreaming of far away times
both soft yesterdays
and fearful tomorrows-
closing my eyes and seeing you
takes nothing away from me at all
except the dark ice blades of fear.
I'm safe in this citadel of dreams,
wrapped tightly in a blanket
made of black velvet and midnight blue
nightskies shot through with stars
falling like raindrops of frigid light-
and the smell of your hair
as it drapes across my fingertips
makes me smile to myself in the dark.
It doesn't matter the flow of time to me-
neither lightning like tomorrows
rushing into my fragile today
like tidal waves of unrelenting doubt...
nor the quicksand grip of yesterdays
clutching at my soul like the spectre of grief
watching death come to light...
You are all that I will ever need
to keep this life for me safe...sane
within this world of mine.

Soft, folded night; dark and velvetine, smokey -
a silent comforting pierced with starlight
and rent with cold curtains of frigid dust
from the eons long death dance of distant stars ...
and a trembling fingertip traces mystic symbols
in the dust and grit of the cobbled floor,
grave and longlost symbols telling tales
of fear and desperate longing,
a longing to sojourn back to the One,
but the winds never falter, they never fade -
and the symbols are blown away
like pointless protests of innocence
thrown frantically at the dropping edge
of the executioners blade ...
Soft, folded night; diaphanous and silken, bitter -
another embattled conversation of no-words
beaten and shaped by the hammers of intent
into war gear extraordinare ...
and with nothing being said in the end,
Everything Is ...

Darklight gleaming-softly enfolding like a veil of smoke...
bitter and achingly arid like a desert breeze.
language shatters-words failing me once again,
like a dried stick broken against the stone!
A trickle of blood-signing a frigid glyph of anguish-
and dark brooding has my life become.
Not a smile is this- this is
the glistening tooth that rends the fabric of time...
and this shattered glass dreaming
is all that is left in the night.
The head cocked to the side-
fervently listening for the rasp of the breathing
of the cornered prey...
I hunt you through the labyrinth of Mind
and cast a yellowed eye skyward at the moon-
a moonlight which cannot hide these tears
that chase sanity from me
into the darklight gleaming...

There she stands before me ...in my Mind -
and I am stolen away from my failings
by her demon forged grin...
holding onto Self in desperation as I go ;
maddened by the ghosts of me,
abandoned by sensibility and reason ...
I travel without leaving my place ;
move without a single muscle flexing -
staying perfectly still and quiet
while reality shrieks past my Self
with dizzying speed and caustic laughter.
She stops all of this with a slight smile -
Insanity taming this maelstrom of life,
and cowing it into utter submission -
enslaving it with but a soft whisper
of some distant promise.
The seasons ... time ... it all becomes empty
as this Self becomes lost in her eyes ...
and this is exactly what I have waited for.