How to Let Things Go?

Four Ways of Letting Go | by Ajahn Brahm

How to Let Go?

“Letting go” becomes very difficult for all of us because of our attachment to things and people. I thought over and over about this topic, “How to let go”. That led to another question, “What to let go of”?

Concentrate on your mind and breath in solitude

What to let go of?

All of us want to lead a happy, contended and peaceful life. What are the hindering factors for achieving happiness and peace? The burdens we carry on our shoulders are the hindrances to a happy and peaceful life. By burdens I mean the mental burdens we accumulate over long periods of time. These burdens are jealousy, hatred, revenge and other negative emotions.

Jealousy:

All of us have experienced this feeling some time or the other. Basically if you dig deep down into the depths of this feeling, we can see that jealousy originates from the fear of self-inadequacies. We feel that someone else is better than us or somebody else has better accomplishments than us. But, is it true? We are not inferior to anybody. On such occasions we have to pamper our mind and tell it that we are good at many things and we need not feel jealous or inferior to others.

Hatred:

Hatred actually starts from small differences of opinion. When there are two individuals it is natural to have differences of opinion and conflicts. But if we don’t take conscious effort to pacify, reunite and strengthen the relationships, these negative emotions follow. Knowingly or unknowingly we tend to brood over those little differences of opinion and try to emphasise and prove that the other party is on the wrong side. Arguments and resentment starts and it reaches a stage where the individuals no more feel the warmth of the relationship.

Hatred means that we are not ready to accept the presence of others or that we look at the other person as a competitor or someone who stands in our way. This shows that we don’t believe in ourselves. We need not feel threatened by others. We should be able to love ourselves to the fullest so that the love spills over and spreads to our fellow beings and they will no longer be a threat. Rather we will develop the capacity to accept the person as he or she is and get along with them irrespective of our differences of opinion.

Revenge:

It is developed when anger is not handled properly. It is not wrong to feel angry. All of us feel angry on several occasions. But we should be careful that it is not taking a destructive turn. When we feel anger towards someone, over some issues, it is best to have dialogues and resolve the issue. If we can take things lightly in life and if we are able to laugh at ourselves for the silly mistakes we make, life becomes easier and the number of anger outbursts comes down.

We should learn to forgive others by sending positive thoughts towards the people who hurt us. Trying to stop the negative thoughts consciously also will help in letting go and forgive others.

Complete Speech By Swami VivekAnand From Chicago USA in 1893

How to Let Go?

Having self-awareness is the most important key to get over these negative emotions. All of us are filled with inner qualities of love, care, concern and peace. If you have ever spent time in solitude, listening only to the sound of your breath, you might have realised these inner qualities in you. The more we become aware of these inner qualities, for most part of the day, we will be able to maintain a pleasant mood. If you carefully observe, you can see that gradually your interactions with others become fruitful and positive. Your mind is not filled with hatred, anger, jealousy or revenge. With this exercise of seeking solitude and reinforcing the good inner qualities we start to feel very light inside, our problems and worries will become negligible and we start feeling oneness with others which is the end of all worldly problems.

Dear Friends, please leave your thoughts and opinions as comments.

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Comments 62 comments

thumbi7 profile image

thumbi7 15 months ago from India Author

Hi Thelma Alberts

Thanks for stopping by


Thelma Alberts profile image

Thelma Alberts 15 months ago from Germany

What useful tips you have here. Thanks for sharing these to us. Now is the time to practice what I have just read.


thumbi7 profile image

thumbi7 3 years ago from India Author

Hi moonlake

Thanks for stopping by


moonlake profile image

moonlake 3 years ago from America

Interesting hub. It is hard to let things go but I guess we all have to try and live a better life. Voted up.


thumbi7 profile image

thumbi7 3 years ago from India Author

Hi Aunt Jimi

Misunderstandings do happen. But if when we get the awareness of self and its capabilities of purity and power, these happenings appear to be trivial and meaningless. Our mind learns to remain in happiness for more time than in sulking.

Thanks for the visit

Have a great day


thumbi7 profile image

thumbi7 3 years ago from India Author

Hi Huntgoddess,

Some parents mislead their children and cultivate negative thoughts and habits in them. I feel that is because they are also not fully matured emotionally. But as we grow we have the inner capabilities to overcome these negative emotions and cultivate positive thoughts

Thanks for the visit

Have a great day


thumbi7 profile image

thumbi7 3 years ago from India Author

Hi JayeWisdom

Thanks for sharing your wisdom. Your words validate the article and have added more meaning to it.

Thanks for the visit.

Have a great day


Aunt Jimi profile image

Aunt Jimi 3 years ago from The reddest of the Red states!

Seems to me that so often people take offense when none was intended. I think things come out of every person's mouth sometimes a little different than they meant for them to, and then somebody gets all bent out of shape and starts holding a grudge.

I think life is difficult enough for most people that they don't need to take on more burdens, yet that seems to be what a lot of folks want to do. If people would just put as much energy into doing good things and making the world a better place as they do looking for reasons to be unhappy or offended or feeling insulted, their own lives would certainly be happier and the world around them would be better off too!

You've chosen an excellent subject that more people need to think about! Voted up!


Huntgoddess profile image

Huntgoddess 3 years ago from Midwest U.S.A.

I like this Hub. It's a really powerful reminder. Like WD Curry 111, I also get a sense of serenity just by reading this.

But, I just wanted to remind all that sometimes hatred can be taught since childhood. So, that is another cause of hatred. It's not always due to a disagreement between two people.

Beautiful picture. It also gives a sense of serenity. I really appreciate the hub and the picture.


JayeWisdom profile image

JayeWisdom 3 years ago from Deep South, USA

The proverb, "One who seeks revenge should dig two graves" is very true. Holding on to a grudge only poisons one's own mind, heart and--ultimately--life. When one lets go of the grudge, eventually the mind lets go of the festering memory.

Even when negative thoughts and feelings are long-standing and very strong, our minds can relinquish them through meditation or simply focusing on positive ones. It is not necessary to let the past cause unhappiness when the power to "let it go" is inside each of us.

Thanks for reminding us that we have this ability.

Voted Up++ and shared.

Jaye


thumbi7 profile image

thumbi7 3 years ago from India Author

Hi Hackslap

Glad to meet you. Letting go is not easy. But if you don't "let go" you will be drowned. If we try it is possible:)

Thanks for the visit


thumbi7 profile image

thumbi7 3 years ago from India Author

Hi Au fait

Your views and opinion add value to this hub. If the bad experiences of life do not drag us down and if we can keep up with this type of progressive thinking, we are actually blessed.

Thanks for the visit


Hackslap profile image

Hackslap 3 years ago from Sydney, Australia

Quite often the movies or fairytells say its best to forgive and forget...and I often wonder ..okay I'll forgive but how to forget?? ..After all its my memory..

Letting go's truly harder than it sounds but not impossible

This article's definitely worth a read .. thanks! :)


Au fait profile image

Au fait 3 years ago from North Texas

All one can do once something unfortunate has happened is fix it if it is fixable, learn from it, and move on. Carrying the burden forward in the way of a grudge slows a person down.

Why take the unpleasantness forward into the future? Why not leave in in the past since it can never be changed anyway.

We all make mistakes and sometimes hurt others or offend them, so forgive others as you would want to be forgiven and move forward. Be understanding of other people as you would want to be understood, and move on. The future awaits and you will meet it better without unnecessary burdens.

Voted up and will share!


thumbi7 profile image

thumbi7 4 years ago from India Author

Hi carol7777,

Thanks for the visit.

I am glad that you liked this hub.....


carol7777 profile image

carol7777 4 years ago from Arizona

It is not easy to let go of slights and hurts that others impose on us. People can be unkind and thoughtless without realizing it. Sometimes family members cause the greatest hurts. This is a great hub in learning to deal with all of this. Thanks for writing and sharing.


thumbi7 profile image

thumbi7 4 years ago from India Author

Hi algarveview

I am glad that you enjoyed this.

It is very essential to let go;otherwise our mind may explode at any time of burden

Thanks for the visit:)


algarveview profile image

algarveview 4 years ago from Algarve, Portugal

Hello, Thumbi7, great advice, I think at one time or another in our life we all need to practice some letting go and sometimes we need to be reminded of that. Voted up and interesting and sharing. Have a great day!


thumbi7 profile image

thumbi7 4 years ago from India Author

@Claudia Tello

Hi, Glad that you enjoyed this:)


Claudia Tello profile image

Claudia Tello 4 years ago from Mexico

Fortunately, jealousy, hatred and revenge are not things I am involved with but I do need to practice letting go things I wanted/want in my life and just haven´t been able to achieve. Maybe I care too much and it stops them from happening.

Nice Hub, thanks for sharing your philosophy with us.


thumbi7 profile image

thumbi7 4 years ago from India Author

Hi jpcmc,

You are very correct in telling that we need to look within ourselves and find the necessary strength.

Gradually all those differences of opinion which you considered very "important" become negligible and you feel a lot lighter.

Thanks for your comment


thumbi7 profile image

thumbi7 4 years ago from India Author

Hi extended - stay,

I really appreciate your visit and comment

When we feel insecure about ourselves, letting go becomes difficult.

Thanks for your input


thumbi7 profile image

thumbi7 4 years ago from India Author

Hi, Brett,

I have observed that if we nurture negative feelings it will only pull us down. The other party is not affected at all! Why harm ourselves?

Thanks for your wonderful input!


jpcmc profile image

jpcmc 4 years ago from Quezon CIty, Phlippines

Very insightful. Not everyone can easily let go especially if the cause of the negative emoption is really traumatic. Of course letting go is a process. Once the person turns to look within, perhaps there is hope of letting go.


Brett.Tesol profile image

Brett.Tesol 4 years ago from Somewhere in Asia

Extremely good advice. It is important to understand and accept yourself, then you can find a level of peace. Sometimes these emotions are warranted, even revenge has its place (such as when someone is hurting others and needs to learn a lesson), but the important part is how we deal with a learn to let go of these issues.

Socially shared, up and awesome.


thumbi7 profile image

thumbi7 4 years ago from India Author

Hi SMD2012,

I feel happy when people read this hub. To me this is the essence of "how to remain happy".

Thanks for the visit and that lovely comment:)


SMD2012 profile image

SMD2012 4 years ago

I love how you posed the question about knowing what to let go of. Sometimes I think that people carry things around for a long, long time and they don't even realize consciously what it is they are holding onto. Once you look inward and see what is going on for you (because it's ALWAYS going on on the inside) you can figure out how to make things work on the outside.

I really do enjoy reading your Hubs Thumbi! You are such a delightful Hubber to follow! Have a great day!


thumbi7 profile image

thumbi7 4 years ago from India Author

Dear melis,

I beleive in the power of letting go of these negative emotions.

Your mind will be filled with positive thoughts and your performance improves.

Thanks for the visit


Melis Ann profile image

Melis Ann 4 years ago from Mom On A Health Hunt

If we could all let go then we could de-stress. This is certainly a challenge and we could all use the help. Thanks for this hub.


thumbi7 profile image

thumbi7 4 years ago from India Author

@ Aloscin

Lot of energy will be wasted in negative thoughts.

In some organisations and offices, the administrators spend lot of time and energy in solving the conflicts between employees instead of spending them on progressive thoughts.

Thanks for the visit and vote!


alocsin profile image

alocsin 4 years ago from Orange County, CA

I like this advice to letting go of self-destructive emotions. I think also realizing how much energy it takes to hang on to the bad can help release it more quickly. Voting this Up and Interesting.


thumbi7 profile image

thumbi7 4 years ago from India Author

Thank you Anil and Honey

Thanks for the visit


Anil and Honey profile image

Anil and Honey 4 years ago from Kerala

Thumbi good ,i like your ideas .


thumbi7 profile image

thumbi7 4 years ago from India Author

@mljdgulley354

Thank you for validating my hub. We have to constantly remind ourselves and reinforce the pure inner qualities so as to retain a high state of mind.

I appreciate your visit and comment

Have a great day:)


mljdgulley354 profile image

mljdgulley354 4 years ago

Very useful hub. Self esteem is hard to come by but facing these issues goes a long ways toward it becoming a reality. These unresolved feeling have a way of not only burdening the person carrying them but also making rifts in family and friend relationships. Thank you for sharing this very important information.


thumbi7 profile image

thumbi7 4 years ago from India Author

@Jangaplanet

Thanks for the appreciation and sharing.

You are really a person of high level of wisdom if you can look at the brighter side of your life and live happily.


Jangaplanet profile image

Jangaplanet 4 years ago

Insightful and interesting article. I usually think about my attachments that are depleting my emotional reserves and almost always consider letting them go by looking at everything in which I am grateful to have in my life.

Beautiful and SHARING.


thumbi7 profile image

thumbi7 4 years ago from India Author

Thank you Ishwaryaa. I am glad that this hub helped you.


ishwaryaa22 profile image

ishwaryaa22 4 years ago from Chennai, India

After reading this hub of yours, i became enlightened! Very wise and thoughtful hub! Awesome. Vote up.


thumbi7 profile image

thumbi7 4 years ago from India Author

Thank you Kenneth Avery for those kind inspiring words. I feel honoured by your visit and comment. Thank you very much


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 4 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama

Thumbi . . .LOVED this hub. VERY informative, Helpful and Interesting. And VERY NEEDED. Voted up and away. Glad to meet you and now following you with great pleasure. With My Highest Regards, Kenneth Avery, from Hamilton, a small northwest Alabama town that looks like a place that Norman Rockwell would have loved to paint. I Invite YOU to check out my hubs IF you need a good laugh and I ALSO WOULD LOVE FOR YOU to Follow Me. That would be Fantastic. ((((Peace to YOU))))

Kenneth


thumbi7 profile image

thumbi7 4 years ago from India Author

Thank you Tara. I feel privileged.


tarajeyaram profile image

tarajeyaram 4 years ago from Wonderland

Thumbi7 - I really found this hub so good. I wanted to share with friends. I have put this hub as one of My Favorite Hubs of the Week: Jan 15.


thumbi7 profile image

thumbi7 4 years ago from India Author

Thank you Trsmd. I feel flattered if this hub actually helped you.


Trsmd profile image

Trsmd 4 years ago from India

Thumbi..you have just given answer to my question about how to control anger...nice page..voted up..


thumbi7 profile image

thumbi7 4 years ago from India Author

Thank you Tara for validating this hub and sharing it.


tarajeyaram profile image

tarajeyaram 4 years ago from Wonderland

Beautifully written. We burden ourselves everyday with negative emotions such as hatred and anger. We forget to experience life for its beauty. If one can learn to let go, they can attain happiness. Nice hub. Voted up and sharing this wonderful hub.


thumbi7 profile image

thumbi7 4 years ago from India Author

Thank you joriechew. I am grateful to you for approving this hub. I will be satisfied if this becomes of use to someone. Take care. Thanks for your thoughtful words to baygirl.


joriechew profile image

joriechew 4 years ago

Hi thumbi7, There are people out there who will find solace here, thank you for this hub.

Dear baygirl33, I have gone thru a kind of anger when I lost my love one 5 yrs ago. It is not easy though, but I found the strength to let go of that anger in me. Now I live with those fond memories we had spent together for 18 yrs. May you gain strength soon, time heals. Best regards.


thumbi7 profile image

thumbi7 4 years ago from India Author

Thank you, Rastamermaid. I think if you can detach yourself from the situation, you are more or less over it. If the memory still hurts you, my suggestion is to send positive thoughts and prayers for the person. In that way, your mind will be freed. You will feel a lot lighter and happy.

May God bless you.


Rastamermaid profile image

Rastamermaid 4 years ago from Universe

Wonderful hub,voted up!

I totally understand,but luckily I harbor none of the above,I feel those qualities only bring you down.

How do you let go of hurt? When someone has wronged you,treated you unkind,how do you let go of that?

Whenever I think of what transpired,I know that it's still going on even though I have removed myself from situation. It still hurts,especially when it's family.

Blessings.


thumbi7 profile image

thumbi7 5 years ago from India Author

Thanks Mathira for the visit. I appreciate your comments.


mathira profile image

mathira 5 years ago from chennai

Thank you Thumbi7.When we get rid of the negative qualities we have, our life will be more meaningful and stress free.


thumbi7 profile image

thumbi7 5 years ago from India Author

Thank you Ruchi for validating the article. Have a great day.


Ruchi Urvashi profile image

Ruchi Urvashi 5 years ago from Singapore

Hi Thumbi7, nice article. It is true that all these negative habits like revenge, hatred, jealousy can make us feel heavy. Once we start to let go, we began to feel light and have a new life.


baygirl33 profile image

baygirl33 5 years ago from Hamilton On.

Thanks Thumbi.

Have a great life.


thumbi7 profile image

thumbi7 5 years ago from India Author

Dear baygirl33, I understand the turmoil in your mind. It may not be very easy to let go of people who were very much part of your life. Whether you get them back or not, believe me, you have the capacity in you to get along with your life peacefully and happily. May God bless you with the necessary strength.


baygirl33 profile image

baygirl33 5 years ago from Hamilton On.

Thumbi7.

Very interesting hub.I need this badly right now but can't seem to do it.Feeling regret and anger about losing my long time love.Can't bring him back. No matter how I try to let go.

Thanks for the follow. I will go to your hubs again soon.


thumbi7 profile image

thumbi7 5 years ago from India Author

Thanks for the comment, anglnwu. I am happy that you feel better after reading this. Thank you.


anglnwu profile image

anglnwu 5 years ago

I feel better too. Sometimes, it's difficult to let go but if we can just realize that letting go is perhaps the best option to get rid of all our burdens, all will be well.


thumbi7 profile image

thumbi7 5 years ago from India Author

Dear WD Curry 111, I am 42 years old. I don't think I am very wise. Most of these realisations are from my life experiences and by reading spiritual literature. Iam just being practical. I feel good that you liked this. Thank you.


WD Curry 111 profile image

WD Curry 111 5 years ago from Space Coast

I feel better just reading this. Now I am going to put it into practice. Are you old enough to be this wise?

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