Overwhelmed By Hate

To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven: A time to love, and a time to hate- Ecclesiastes 3:1-8.

To hate means to detest, abhor, execrate, abominate, loathe, scorn, despise, to have an aversion toward, dislike intensely, shudder at, not care for, sicken at, have enough of or be repelled by. For most of us humans who have suffered some kind of injustice, grave hurt or betrayal, this emotion is more than to dislike or be unhappy about someone or something.

I know hate, as it knows me. It is a very vicious adversary that has robbed me of precious personal peace and joy. That's what it does well and believe me, i wish it on no one. Which is why i pray never to cause those i love unnecessary hurt, and that i walk this earth as God's instrument of peace, wherever life takes me. But, hate is like a determined enemy. It lives right where you are, waiting for that moment of weakness, to take over your being, ready to kill, steal and destroy. I was feeling very confident, thinking it had walked out of my life. But that was so naive.

Past Hate

Almost everyday, he taunted me to tears. He said horrible things to put me down and make me insecure about myself. I kept a diary and i remember writing the words "I hate him! I hate him! I wish he were dead!". I was distraught and felt so helpless. At that young age, i didn't know how to process my emotions. I couldn't fathom why i was being hated. I begun hating my hater, which made matters worse, rather than better. I tried to share my pain with those i thought could help me, but it was in vain. I was so unhappy, and for a long time i struggled with insecurity and self doubt. I tried distancing myself from my tormentor and learned to be 'deaf' in his presence. Eventually, like a miracle of an answered prayer, we would be separated to my relief. Time knows how to heal, and i would find mine with the help of Godsent friends and mentors. Through them, I gained self confidence, as they loved on me, and recognized my value and giftings. I came out of my shell to discover my true worth, and my nightmare would fade, to be a thing of the past.

When my daughter was betrayed by the man she loved and trusted, i was not just hurt nor angry. Seeing the child you bore and nurture into a beautiful person be trampled by 'strangers' who masqueraded as good people, made me see murder. If i had a weapon at that time, i knew i would have used it. For the life of me, i just could not comprehend that our family had become victims of a person we thought we knew and embraced. To make matters worst, blame was placed on us to cover up the truth about our offenders true character. Hatred had overtaken my soul so badly, i didn't think i would ever recover. I watched my child fall apart and almost self destruct. There was more hate coming from where i knew not. We drew from our faith, and asked for greater grace to abound. With the help of Godly counsel, and with family love surrounding us, we would rise from the ashes. I knew love had to walk into our hearts if we were to recover. In time, we would come to understand who our real enemy was, find forgiveness and unconditional compassion for those who knew not what they do. Isn't that what the Lord had to do?

Present Hate

I have had more than my share of angst in this life to already wisen and to act like the mature woman that i am. I take great pride in my disciplines, of being able to guard my feelings. I thought i was doing quite well. I'm this cool lady who smiles a lot and hardly shows her displeasure. That is, till recently when i lost it, and had an unexpected meltdown. Over a quiet meal with a handful for company, i had a surprise. Out of nowhere, feelings of hatred for the people who have been unkind to me re-emerged. Hate! Hate! Hate! That horrible tenacious beast that takes over your very being got me again! You see, it has been years since i lost everything. I had been widowed and instead of getting sympathy, i was cast out like a useless piece of rag by the very people i thought cared. I was lied to, and left to grieve on my own. No one bothered to find out how i was, and as if it weren't enough, i would be maligned and gossipped about all over town. The mere mention of a name, a word said, had triggered a deluge of strong feelings that welled like a tsunami from deep inside my soul. I angrily, spewed hateful words to my audience's freak. It was sad, to rave and rant like a maniac. I felt like the devil myself. Thanks to my sensitive and understanding husband, i would find calm, But, why? Why do i succumb still? Am i so weak?

Future Hate

I am determined to walk in love and humility, which is the blessed path. I know what God's word says, that we "need to love our enemies, bless those that curse us, do good to them that hate us, and pray for them who despitefully use us, and persecute us"- Matthew 5:43-4. He didn't say it was going to be easy, and really, it isn't. Neither did He say, it was going to be impossible. But, it seems like that many times. And there's more. "But love your enemies, do good to them, and lend to them without expecting to get anything back.Then your reward will be great, and you will be sons of the Most High, because he is kind to the ungrateful and wicked". Luke 6:35

"Love does no harm to its neighbor. Therefore love is the fulfillment of the law"-Romans 13:10

Oh God! Let me have victory in this area of my life. let me be like You, who hate sin, but not the sinner.

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Comments 53 comments

Putz Ballard profile image

Putz Ballard 6 years ago

Great hub, hard theology but a truth that can be experienced.


IslandVoice profile image

IslandVoice 6 years ago from Hawaii Author

Thanks Putz! Sadly true, for us humans.


lovelypaper profile image

lovelypaper 6 years ago from Virginia

Powerful hub. Hate is a very strong emotion and can take your peace if you let it. Great job. Awsome.


tony0724 profile image

tony0724 6 years ago from san diego calif

Hate is an ugly thing. And like you said it just robs you of any inner peace. Thanks for the post IV.


A M Werner profile image

A M Werner 6 years ago from West Allis

Wonderful writing IslandVoice. A willingness to keep trying is the sure sign of hope, and hope that is unseen is faith. And by faith you will end up winning everytime you lose. It is a strange math, but it in the Lord's addition and in His book the answer is right. Peace.


Hello, hello, profile image

Hello, hello, 6 years ago from London, UK

I am glad you found yourself and know now that no matter what the situation you can be full of love to yourself. To walk proud nobody can destroy it unless you do it yourself. I know they can get you down but always know that you are not like that and that keeps your self-respect. I know what you are writing about. The point is the same only the circumstances differ. Thank you a great hub and you are a very good writer to put it all down like that.


dohn121 profile image

dohn121 6 years ago from Hudson Valley, New York

It must've felt good to lash out at your oppressors, IV. I can certainly relate to that. One of the things I've discovered (in my frail old age) is that sometimes your friends are your enemies in disguise and other times, your enemies are really your friends in disguise! I'd like to quote this line from the movie,"The Godfather":

"Keep your friends close, but keep your enemies closer."

Thank you for sharing this part of your life. Jealousy and envy are around every corner.

Dohn


IslandVoice profile image

IslandVoice 6 years ago from Hawaii Author

Lovelypaper: Thanks for visiting and agreeing about the 'power' of hate.

Tony! Knowing you are a man of passion, you understand my subject quite well. Thanks for droppin' by.

AM Werner: I hope to win in this battle. Thank you.

Hello Hello: Thanks for your ok. I do want to walk proud that i know and respect myself

Dohn, i like that, "Keep your friends close, but keep your enemies closer." I saw the movie, and i tell you, i got more ideas from it about killing my oppressors than anywhere else! But, i am such a coward, i can only wish somebody else would do it for me. You're always a sweetheart. It does feel good to fight back, but it's exhausting too. Thanks!


hollywoodjames profile image

hollywoodjames 6 years ago from USA

Good write! Hate is one emotion that drains too much of your energy and takes away from other things that could provide more enjoyment.


IslandVoice profile image

IslandVoice 6 years ago from Hawaii Author

You're so right Hollywoodjames! It is so exhausting, and unproductive. Thanks for visiting.


Truth From Truth profile image

Truth From Truth 6 years ago from Michigan

Great article. I find myself giving in to hatred sometimes over things that just are not worth it. Thanks.


Just Passing Thru 6 years ago

Dear one, this is written with the utmost love, care and tenderness, I hope you will accept it that way,

We didn’t read where you had forgiven those that had hurt you, since you admit hatred is still entrenched in your heart it is impossible for the Balm of Gilead to work in your soul, until there is true and complete forgiveness we can’t experience,”by His stripes we are healed.”

If you have trusted in the pardoning of your sins, the reconciliation to God the Father that comes from the finished work of Jesus Christ on the cross, then may I humbly suggest you print out your hub and any other details of hatred you can think of and put them in a box and have a funeral, burn or bury it, never to go back to it. Your sin is under the Blood of Christ judicially, the funeral will make it practical to you, and then when the enemy tempts you, you can say that is dead and burned/buried (under the Blood), never to be looked upon again.

With the cleansing you will find the Holy Spirit afresh in your life to overcome any temptation that may come on you.

In His Love,

Gene


IslandVoice profile image

IslandVoice 6 years ago from Hawaii Author

T fr T: It is a problem common to man, and something we must resist. Thanks for your comment.

Dear Gene,

I plan to write a part 2 on this hub. I believe i have forgiven my offenders, altho i did not express that here. I have not had a chance to 'test' myself and if the offense has been buried, forever to oblivion. I shared my dilemma because, like i said, i was surprised when old hurt came to the surface, and i felt hate again. By the grace of God, i don't walk around feeling any anger, nor bitterness towards anyone. It pains me that up this time, my so called enemy despises me and speaks ill of me. I thank you for your concern and advise. I take to heart when God sends me a message to help heal me and make me whole. God bless you.


Micky Dee profile image

Micky Dee 6 years ago

Powerful message! I have been provoked to anger. I've always walked away from anger but I've stood against bigger forces at times. When it seems to be the average or weaker foe there is little to be done. I have briefly shouted. That does no good. I've most often taken it inward and that too is harmful. There's a wound that has to heal and that takes time and help usually. It can be done alone with time but can be speeded along. Loved ones and the Creator wants us well. Kind words speed the recovery. Thanks


"Quill" 6 years ago

Hate is allowed to present itself in our lives is implosion of self destruction a never ending spiral of devastation that consumes all in our paths.

Hate is a familiar foe for me as well and yet through Christ I have found peace, even peace with those I have held accountable for what they have done.

I thank you for this in-depth and personal look into the journey you have been on and one which will open doors of peace for the many who suffer.

Blessings and Hugs


frogyfish profile image

frogyfish 6 years ago from Central United States of America

Thank you for emotional and realistic sharing - we all fight this human battle...But your last sentence can be our valid prayer - and God will answer it...

Thank you, and blessings too.


IslandVoice profile image

IslandVoice 6 years ago from Hawaii Author

Mickey Dee: Thank you for your kind words of affirmation... that 'wound takes time to heal and the Creator wants us well. I know i am healing.

Quill: I know i am 'winning' in this battle, by God's grace and feel at peace, despite my formidable foe.

Frogyfish: I believe God answers prayers, and He will make a way.

Thank you all, for your kind and refreshing words. God bless you!


valleyoftoys profile image

valleyoftoys 6 years ago

I really like hubpages but I am new to it. I will surely post and read what ever I could. Please do share with me what ever you can.


IslandVoice profile image

IslandVoice 6 years ago from Hawaii Author

Welcome Valleyoftoys! I hope you enjoy your hub journey!


Sandyspider profile image

Sandyspider 6 years ago from Wisconsin, USA

I can relate to your Hub. I think we need to cleanse ourselves from all negative emotions.


IslandVoice profile image

IslandVoice 6 years ago from Hawaii Author

That's right Sandyspider, if we have to do it everyday and every time we let it take hold of us. Thanks for the read.


tim-tim profile image

tim-tim 6 years ago from Normal, Illinois

Great hub! Hate is such a strong word and it takes so much energy out of one that it is not worth to go there! Thanks for sharing.


IslandVoice profile image

IslandVoice 6 years ago from Hawaii Author

You are right Tim-Tim! Thanks for your comment and visit.


myownworld profile image

myownworld 6 years ago from uk

The best part about your writing is that it is so easy to relate to....you not only share your own experiences but say the wisest things in such gentle words. It's truly inspiring! May our hearts never be filled with anger and hatred, but always compassion and forgiveness. Thank you for sharing this...:)


Sage Williams profile image

Sage Williams 6 years ago

Island Voice - I related with your hub on so many levels. You're voice and emotions are truly captured through the honesty of your words.

It was hate that actually kept me safe as a young child but was eating me alive as an adult. It was hate that made me dig deep and unravel the layers so that I could forgive and experience a life of compassion and love.

For me, hate played it's role, it was a driving force that brought me to a better place.

Thanks so much for sharing,

Sage


IslandVoice profile image

IslandVoice 6 years ago from Hawaii Author

I like that Sage, about hate's role is keeping us safe, letting us dig deeper into our souls, to forgive, and learn true compassion. There is so much to learn from life's negative forces. Thanks for your input, and i'm so glad, you are in a better place. I am too.


H P Roychoudhury profile image

H P Roychoudhury 6 years ago from Guwahati, India

What you described is the Jesus teachings but how many of human beings can realize and implement the same in personal life? A great hub!


IslandVoice profile image

IslandVoice 6 years ago from Hawaii Author

Not everyone HPR, not everyone. Thanks for your visit and ok.


Cari Jean profile image

Cari Jean 6 years ago from Bismarck, ND

Powerful hub, thanks for sharing.


IslandVoice profile image

IslandVoice 6 years ago from Hawaii Author

Much thanks Cari Jean.


JetterV7 profile image

JetterV7 6 years ago from Angola, IN

Great hup IslandVoice. Divorce brought out my worst hate. I didn't realize how heartless and hurtful people can be toward another. Trusting the Lord though, has made it incredibly more tolerable. Thanks for the hub and glad you are doing better.

God Bless.


IslandVoice profile image

IslandVoice 6 years ago from Hawaii Author

JetterV7, i'm glad you found comfort in God, and did not allow hate to overcome you. I'm doing much better, thank you. Blessings as well. Thanks for visiting.


glorybeenow profile image

glorybeenow 6 years ago from Texas

Great Hub. I've been where you are, and still live with it. Just remember, Jesus walks with you. May God Bless you.


IslandVoice profile image

IslandVoice 6 years ago from Hawaii Author

Thanks GloryBeeNow! Everyday is victory day with Jesus. God bless you too!


Sally's Trove profile image

Sally's Trove 6 years ago from Southeastern Pennsylvania

There was one I hated with all my heart and soul, until I saw my mother forgive him and took into myself her compassion. Other beings, whether they are a deity or angel or a person living in our lives, can show us the way if we look and listen.

Hatred is born of deep and abiding hurt. My mother's acceptance and forgiveness helped me to heal.

Thank you so much for such a personal sharing that I know has touched many.


IslandVoice profile image

IslandVoice 6 years ago from Hawaii Author

Thanks for sharing your own journey in and out of hate Sally. You are blessed to learn grace from your mother.


jill of alltrades profile image

jill of alltrades 6 years ago from Philippines

What a powerful hub! Hate destroys you more than it destroys the other person. So I'm thankful and happy that you have overcome this in your life.

Blessings to you IslandVoice!


IslandVoice profile image

IslandVoice 6 years ago from Hawaii Author

Myownworld, i love your sensitivity. Thank you for being such an encourager to me.

Jill, i am happy as well, to give up hating. I know it would have destroyed me if i let it fester. Much thanks for your visit and input. Blessings to you too!


AARON99 6 years ago

Really a great hub. Keep it up.


IslandVoice profile image

IslandVoice 6 years ago from Hawaii Author

Thank you Aaron99.


AARON99 6 years ago

Thank you IslandVoice for your valuable comments and everything.


roosteri profile image

roosteri 6 years ago from Greensboro,NC

I agree hate is a horrible powerful and consuming atribute. Usually because feel threatened or jelous all can do is best we can eveyday and then you can sleep well and find peace for those who spend so much time and energy hateing and being negative the will be worse off can only get to you if let it. Eaiser said than done I know I struggle with this that is why it was a informative and helpful read. Nice Hub thanks bunch.


IslandVoice profile image

IslandVoice 6 years ago from Hawaii Author

You are most welcome Roosten. It is best to be freed from energy sapping hate. Thanks for your input.


James A Watkins profile image

James A Watkins 6 years ago from Chicago

I feel for you being bedeviled by such feelings. I never had much experience in this area but it sounds as if you are working through it OK. God Bless You.


IslandVoice profile image

IslandVoice 6 years ago from Hawaii Author

James, the blessed man! Thanks for droppin' by. Gotta catch up with you and your hubs. I am doing much better, by the grace of God.


Michael Shane profile image

Michael Shane 6 years ago from Gadsden, Alabama

Hate can make or break you! So many of us allow it to slowly kill our spirit & the only way to find happiness is to forgive & let live! Great topic!


IslandVoice profile image

IslandVoice 6 years ago from Hawaii Author

That's right Michael! Thanks for your comment and for the read.


Jacob Darkley profile image

Jacob Darkley 6 years ago from California, USA

Great hub. So true about the negative feelings that go along with being hateful (as well as being hated).


IslandVoice profile image

IslandVoice 6 years ago from Hawaii Author

You said it Jacob. Thanks for your comment.


Chaotic Chica profile image

Chaotic Chica 6 years ago

You are not weak, you are human and one that has acknowledged how hatred can destroy you. It can be exhausting fighting hatred within yourself, but I believe you know as well as any that it is worth it.


IslandVoice profile image

IslandVoice 6 years ago from Hawaii Author

Human, that's what i am Chaotic Chica. To triumph over hatred is almost like being supernatural for sure. Thanks for your comment and visit.


Team A profile image

Team A 5 years ago

Hate is a natural emotion but it does not mean that we have to allow it to control us. Time heals all wounds!


IslandVoice profile image

IslandVoice 5 years ago from Hawaii Author

So true Team A! Thanks for the read.

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