Sensitive

When I was a child I was fearful of many things. Airplanes flying over the house would send me running to hide under my bed along with the shaking dog, firework displays were avoided because of the big bang that would cause my inner spirit to jump with fear, watching a parade with gun salute meant to wear ear plugs or no parade, and the list goes and on. These fears subsided around the age of twelve. I found out recently that my mom had to sneak Benadryl in my food to let my fear subside. That was the advice from the doctor. I was also very much afraid of people when I was a child. Making friends wasn’t always very easy. One friend at a time I could handle but big groups of friends was almost impossible. My self-esteem had a hard time climbing high because of this. As I got older I fought off these fears with determination but also have learned some things along the way. When I was about a pre-teen I started attending church and reading spiritual books to discover more of who I am. I took this spiritual journey into adulthood where at one time I became born again. After speaking in tongues and taking more spiritual classes I have come to the conclusion that there is a whole spiritual plane out there that is beyond our understanding. I believe that some people are more in tuned to it than others. Around the world people profess to have abilities to see, feel and hear things that others can’t. Many are given the term psychic and given a bad rap yet those who are called prophet are revered and respected. Because of the animosity of both those words I don’t like to call myself either one. Instead I like to call myself a “sensitive”. I believe in my heart the cause of my fear when I was a child had to do with being in touch with this other plane. Loud noises were like energy and vibrations that would stir up fear in my soul, which on the other side can take many ugly forms. I also believe I was feeling energies from people and was overwhelmed by it and that is I why I stayed away. Now when I approach people I can tell right off that bat if their energy is positive or negative, if they have good intentions for me or bad.  Everyone on our planet is born with a bit of sensitivity but mine is on the High Side. No I can’t see dead people or hear voices but I feel energy and sometimes I can see it on a clear and bright day. It’s like speckles of glitter floating in the air. If it’s bad energy I get cold inside or I have a heightened sense of alert. Sometimes fear approaches in for silly reasons like driving on the highway and being fearful of a crash. When that happens I have to cast that fear out by praying. When I was a child I used to cry a lot and still do sometimes and that is because of my heightened sensitivity. Some children would call me a cry baby or say “why you’re so sensitive”. I used to take offense to it but no longer now. If used in the right ways my sensitivity can help direct my path and also help people in life. The past week I had two friends who had major setbacks go on. One had a collapsed lung and the whole day I felt sick to my stomach and knew something wasn’t right with her. The other friend was involved in a car accident down the street from me and I felt a cold and urgent feeling of uneasiness sweep over me. So what did I do in both instances? I prayed. I believe God gave me this sensitivity to help others and I believe in the power of prayer. A warrior in prayer I am. I’m not here to call myself a psychic because it has been given such a bad name and I don’t worship no devil. I m a Christian but I believe there is still so much we still do not know about ourselves that is still left to learn. With every new discovery of the human being there is fear. People used to fear that the world was round before Christopher Columbus proved them wrong. I believe as a society and world we need to combat fear to improve ourselves and further our species. Steven Hawking was recently in the news and stated that we need to go out to space or fear extinction. Many politicians don’t believe in the space program and its worth but if they look at the bigger picture they will realize that our planet is in threat not only of asteroids but overpopulation, pollution, war and so on.

I want people not to be afraid of knowing and understanding their true self. I’m tired of hiding and being ashamed of who I am behind a closed door. My sensitivity is coming out and it will be for Good. Call it what you want but it is a part of me and something I am just now starting to feel okay with especially if it sends me calling to God to help others in need.

May your day be Blessed and with no fear.  If fear is there then just say a prayer.