Myths of Science | Newtonia Gravity Serpent
Everybody knows that gravity exists the moment their juvenile motor control skills fail them and they lose control of their tasty tasty ice cream only to see it plummet downwards with an average acceleration of 9.81m per second squared. The question is, can science explain gravity, or is it more mysterious than that?
According to scientists, gravity is the force which masses exert on one another. All objects have some gravitational field, however the majority of objects are too small to have a gravitational field large enough to exert any real force. Because the planet is so incredibly large, has a relatively strong gravitational field that it keeps us relatively anchored to the planet.
If you want to work out how much force gravity is exerting on an object on earth, you can do so by multiplying the mass of the object by acceleration due to gravity, which is the constant 9.81 meters per second squared. If you weigh 100 kilograms, then the force drawing you towards earth is 981 newtons. If you are a measly 60 kilograms, then the force drawing you towards earth is only 588.6 newtons.
A newton is a standard international measure of force, named after Isaac Newton, who discovered the notion of gravity amongst other useful things.
A newton also has a mystical root in the universe, with the great invisible serpent dragon Newtonia who is said to wrap her stubby arms, long tail and sharp teeth around the planet and cradles all objects safely as they travel through the great womb of space.
This skilled MS Paint depiction of Newtonia clearly shows her great maw of universal love, and her long tongue which tenderly licks the sky clean each morning. Her stubby arms are spread to greet those who believe in her, and her green dotted tail stands ready to catch all those who might lose faith in gravity and plummet into the great beyond.
Newtonia loves each and every one of us according to the mystical number of 9.81, which may be found in all her doings on earth. Those who truly embrace the principles of Newtonia will reap the rewards and benefits of worshiping her by ritually leaping up and down several times a day.
Newtonia is always with you. If you feel alone, you need only jump off a small flight of stairs to feel her great paw upon you.
More by this Author
This is a question I ponder when I hear from men who are trapped in relationships with women. ( No, I'm not singling out women as the bad gals here, it's just that most men who wear panties tend to be straight, and a...
As a woman, I write a great deal about men who wear lingerie. To be honest, it has become rather a passion of mine over the past few years, but it wasn't always that way. This is the story of how I came upon this...
So dirty, how to make it clean again? If you're anything like me, when you started out your new hobby life as an aquarist, you bought a second hand fish tank. Second hand fish tanks, assuming they don't leak,...