The journey of finding God

This hub will not try to convince you there is a God. It is not necessary to believe in my opinion. As a child my biggest desire was to be the female counter-part of Moses. Being raised by a conservative Jewish family and with my basic personality, I can see why Moses would be my choice. Yet, within the Jewish religion I always felt disconnected with God. I also had a lot of questions for this Divine Being when I entered my teens. Life threw some major obstacles to me as I was growing up and at the age of 19 I encountered the worst hurdle at that time. The death of my brother, who was exactly thirteen months older than me, sent me to war against G-d. Anger and bitterness rein control, as well as the beginning of a healthy drug addiction. As the journey called life continued those next seven years, I eventually entered a twelve-step program. Everything in twelve- step is related to that name called God. I could not for the life of me befriend God again. The wisdom of one though helped me in my healing with Divinity. She mentioned to place on my shoulder anyone who I would wish to be God. I did just that, and for a few years Glinda the good witch of the Wizard of Oz was my God.

Looking for God is a tricky activity. We come with assumptions, usually drilled into us as a child. I was aware of the major religions in the U.S., but none of them resonated with me. That God had too many human elements; such has jealousy, bullying and prejudice. These Gods were teaching the opposite of what I was trying to teach my child. It just would not work for me. What to do? I knew there was something bigger than me, but it couldn’t be what others were saying was true about God.

If someone came to me seriously wanting to wander in their own personal journey to discover God, I would have to tell them drop everything you have heard since you have been a child. I would not offer to them my own beliefs, since that would do them no good. God in my opinion needs to be experience through ones’ own moments of enlightment.

How do you go about finding enlightment? Usually it will open its’ door when you are going through your life biggest challenges. It is when our life is turned upside down and scattered into tiny pieces that enlightment will come. It is not though us bargaining with God or telling It what to do. We do not seek It to take our side and give us utopia. We are not giving orders to it or saying oh you should do this or that. Instead, the journey is within you. This journey will make you bleed inwardly and shed a river of tears. You might have experienced losing everything, a break-up, divorce or death can rearrange your life. If you seek enlightment outwards in a social group all you are doing is adapting someone else’s code as yours. If you are search for God, you got to go within. You got to let go of the ego which contains your righteous untruths. The more you let go of should, could and must you begin to see the road to God clearer. If you are looking for God, you will need to make peace with It.

After this journey, which can take a long time, you will walk with the knowing of Its’ presence. The human qualities of It will have been taken away, and as this happens you will also begin to see you more clearer. Often at this point you will be meeting the spirit that has always been you through many life times. Meeting your spirit often gives you answers to why you have had so many repeated lessons in this life. When you learn this, you begin to understand you are not the victim in this life. Everything that has ever happened to you was a lesson of your spirit. You might even give yourself a hug for enduring these lessons.

If you are looking for God also realize it could take a lifetime or just a day. Our egos will tantalize us into not believing. The ego is so strong, and yes stronger than our own spirit in the beginning of our journey. We are used to the sound of the ego and adhere easily to it battering us daily. Besides the ego, if your search goes against others beliefs, they will ride you too for having falsehoods as your God. People do not recommend anyone to change away from what they wish you to believe, and always remember that as you move forward on your journey. In the beginning of your journey, you might want to rebel and argue with those who tell you that you cannot. If you go this route know it is just rebellious actions and eventually you will mature beyond that. It is when you reach this maturity of your journey where your spirit will begin to drive you, and your needs might change. They might not change as mine did, and probably won’t, but they will change. One day you will wake up and be in-connection with your Divine. You have found God. You might go back to the religion of your family or another, or perhaps religion will not have a part of your life. It does not matter because your spirit now is leading you and your journey now is with both your spirit and God.