When I Accepted Jesus

By: Toni Tucker

When I Accepted Jesus

It was back in 1968. I was six years old. My mother and her abusive boyfriend decided to leave Chicago, and drive to the Motor-City, Motown, better known as Detroit. My older sister was just seven and it was an adventure. I was scared. I might have developed a form of compulsive nervous disorder. I didn't like the man. He was mean. He wasn't my father, and he was ugly. He drank ferociously, and hit my mother. He never hit me. However, he did beat my older sister. I hated this guy. And to make matters worse, he called himself a 'minister.'

I remember the long drive from Chicago to Detroit. In that back-seat of the car, it was like a nervous spirit had entered me. Maybe seeing the fires, and riots, and even a couple of dead men lying on the street on the way to our destination didn't help me either. I couldn't even process what was going on and being said en route to Detroit. The Rev. just remarked that, "there's another n-word gone."

Every 10 minutes I would actually pray for a safe trip, and peace. I don't know if mom's boyfriend was aware of my actions or even if my mother was, but I had to stop and pray every few minutes, just like a compulsive person who has to check and re-check their doors and locks to make sure that they're secure. I didn't feel secure inside. Even at that young age I sensed something was wrong, beyond the obvious. We were leaving my family, friends, and the City I knew, where I felt safe and was safe. We were all packed up and on the road with a dark spirited man. A man I despised so much that at six years old, I was able to mask my true feelings about him and made him 'think' I liked him. I really hated this dude.

I remember my first day of school in Detroit. I was in the first-grade. And after being tested by the school to see where my cognitive skills were, I was placed in what was level 1. That's where the smartest children were placed. I read well, spelled well, spoke well, and could even add and subtract. But after a series of spiraling events, I soon plummeted to level 2, and by the fourth day to level 3. I froze-up. I didn't interact with the students, didn't want to read, had no desire to even act like I could think. I even got lost the very first day after school. No one picked me up, I was suppose to remember how to get home. To that dreadful beige apartment complex where every night we had to 'hit the floor.'

I remember an older girl, probably by ten years or so, walking up to me with concerned eyes and asking me, "Are you lost.?" I was lost and in a haze. Blank. Frightened out of my little wits. Where the heck was I. Who was I, what was I doing in this strange city and neighborhood.

Earlier that day during the assembly, I remember a young boy about my age with tan pants on, profusely bleeding. The blood dripped down on the floor drop by drop at first, then heavily as I starred in unbelief. I was in utter shock. That traumatized me. I was told he later died. Turns out, the blood was from a gun-shot wound inflicted on him during recess. It took the teachers probing various classes and children like myself assigned to sit around this boy several days later to jar my memory. I guess they knew I had slumped into some kind of deep withdrawal and because I sat next to him, I must have seen something disturbing. They got it out of me finally. That's why I was lost trying to find my way home after being instructed by my mother that it was a straight walk for several blocks back to the apartment. That girl could have been an angel. She was a girl I felt safe with, she was very kind and concerned about me. I recall her voice being very calming and friendly. She walked me this way and that way, and asked me, "Do you remember this block?"

I recall stopping at her home or some-one's house, and after she talked with someone on the phone, this girl walked me back to the school, where 'the man' finally picked me up and took me home. I just shutter when I think of how badly things could have turned out. That girl could have been a child-snatcher! She could have been all wonderful with me alone, but when she took me home to make that phone call, some pervert at her house could have molested me, or murdered me. Thank God she wasn't crazy nor was her family.

I only learned later that we were smack-dab in the middle of the Detroit Riots. Hearing those gun-shots every night and hitting the floor made me shell-shocked! Coupled with being up-rooted and dragged off to a strange land with a mean Reverend who beat my mother with a thick belt and tormented my older sister. This is the hardest thing to recapture in my life. I also remember a dark shadow standing over me one night and all I could do was stay still, not move, not breathe, not blink, soon the shadow would go away, and daybreak would come. I really don't know what happened that night. I was just consumed with fear.

I don't know if it was my frazzled young mind traumatized by all that I had witnessed, or if I had blocked something so horrific out, that I just buried it deep down in my mind. Repressed...never to be resurrected.

Despite the newness and tragedy, I remember going to a Sunday service at a store-front church somewhere in Motown. My older sister and I were in the same class for six and seven year olds. The Sunday school teacher was an effervescent young woman with a glow about her. She used a flannel-board with characters to witness the Gospel to the class of attentive children. She shared how Jesus loves children and loves everyone, and how he came to earth to live and die for our sins, our joy, and for eternal life. I especially got excited when she shared how he 'rose from the dead,' left, and would one day come back to rapture his children. She then poised the most important question ever to the class of eager children by asking us, "Do you want to accept Jesus as Lord and Savior?"

At that very moment something happened to me. All the fear, tragedy, compulsive disorder, memories of death, and gunshots, just seemed to dissolve. I heard the voice of Jesus and saw his beautiful face. I felt his love. My spirit concurred with his and I received him by faith and by his super-natural appearance to me. It was awesome! He is awesome! He saved me, he delivered my six year old battered mind. He loved and still loves me. Jesus came into my life, gave me real joy, washed me, held me, and transformed me with his spirit.

Right there, in Detroit, Michigan, in 1968 during the Vietnam War and after the assassination of Martin Luther King Jr., and the riots which ensued with the ungodly lingering effects heaped on some inner-cities across the nation; God saved me, in a dark, dingy, store-front church. I was no longer lost but found!

That's when I accepted Jesus as my personal Lord and Savior!

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Comments 34 comments

cristina327 profile image

cristina327 7 years ago from Manila

Great hub. This is a great testimony of Christ awesome love. Thank you for sharing it Best regards.


Born Again 05 profile image

Born Again 05 7 years ago from Honesdale

What an awesome testimony! All the more reason we need to keep on sharing His love and the Gospel! Though I'm crying over your testimony, it's a great way to start my day being reminded that there is so much work to be done (for HiM!). If you'd like to read my testimony, I too have one I've shared in a hub. Just check out my profile and look for "How I Met The Savior". Signing on as a fan. Be blessed!


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websites 7 years ago

Praise the Lord Sister, we made it! Imagine all the hell they piled up in front of us in an attempt to steer us down the wrong path, but our Good God simply made stepping stones out of those piles and we just stepped right on up to the all mighty, all powerful, all loving Savior. Heyyyyyyyyyyy! Woops, got carried away there. I just get excited every time I see the Lord direct the steps of someone.

I was brought up in a good Christian home with a Father who was a real Rev., thank the Lord. Some of my earliest memories were of traveling all over the country helping Dad set up the old revival tent. That's where I learned that one ounce of anointing was greater in value than all the combined wealth on this planet, and the value of one ounce of love could not be measured. In all my travels, and in all the things I have learned, of all the things I have seen, and in all the powerful things I have witnessed from the hand of God, nothing has touched my heart as much as being present each time one of the little sheep make it into the fold.

Bob


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skye2day 7 years ago from Rocky Mountains

Hi Heavensgate. Thank You for sharing your heart. This story can help many. Our difficult journeys can bring others to Christ. It makes it not so bad after all. Thank God you were led to salvation at a young age. Our savior was holing you close as he is now. He restores. Amen Sister. Keep writing, do not stay away so long. Visit my spiritual hubs, I hope you will be Blessed. I will return soon. Merry CHRIST-mas. Hugs


RevLady profile image

RevLady 7 years ago from Lantana, Florida

A great testimony to the love of God through Jesus Christ. I appreciate the conditions you described in Detroit as I was there (born and raised). Thank you for sharing the power of almighty God.


heart4theword profile image

heart4theword 7 years ago from hub

Wow, isn't it amazing how God brings us out of circumstances beyond our control. I'm so glad you were protected and able to share such a story, that many more than we know could relate. Thank you for having an open heart, sharing God's strength He gave you!


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create a page 6 years ago from Maryland, USA

This is such an inspiring testimony Heavensgates. You should consider writing a book.


Heavensgates profile image

Heavensgates 6 years ago Author

Thank you. I have already started writing and seeking a publisher. God bless you!


DeBorrah K. Ogans profile image

DeBorrah K. Ogans 6 years ago

Heavensgate, Powerful story of how God's Grace reached out to you as a young child. No doubt you knew right from wrong it is clear you could sense the ungodliness in your Mom's boyfriend. Although their were many unpleasant circumstances about you for such a young child the power of the Lord's voice hushed your fears!

As you so wonderfully stated, you: "received Him by FAITH and by His super-natural appearance to me. It was awesome! He is awesome! He saved me, he delivered my six year old battered mind. He loved and still loves me. Jesus came into my life, gave me real joy, washed me, held me, and transformed me with His Spirit." GOD is AWESOME!

Wonderful testimony! Thank you for sharing, Blessings!


Cher Anne profile image

Cher Anne 6 years ago from Earth

Thank You for your writing, a book would be a great idea.


Pollyannalana profile image

Pollyannalana 6 years ago from US

Any of us who feel sorry for our problems should just get a day of what you went through. I think that holding on to prayer got you through though, there have been times in my life it was all I had and it has brought me through many years, some when I may have rather just died but I knew that wasn't the answer. God bless you and I thank Him too for seeing you through. Thank you for sharing and may it bless others.


Heavensgates profile image

Heavensgates 6 years ago Author

Pollyannaiana, thank you for reading my hub. Yes, it was a trying time those months in Detroit. But I thank Jesus for the experience and mostly the deliverance! God sees us through tough times and brings us into great times. Be blessed and have a great week and Merry Christmas to you and your family.


gracenotes profile image

gracenotes 6 years ago from North Texas

Very wonderful testimony, Heavensgates. I praise God for you and your writing. I will be following your work here.

When I was a child in Sunday School, I remember so well our teacher giving us Bible lessons and using the flannel board. I can still see the hands of my teacher placing the little loaves and fishes, just so, on the board, as she delivered the story of Jesus feeding the 5000. It is a blessing when little kids can learn Bible stories so young.


Heavensgates profile image

Heavensgates 6 years ago Author

Thank you Grace notes! I really appreciate your comments. Yes, the wonderful 'flannel board.' I thank God for it, it is indeed a great way to share the Gospel to children, being that it was instrumental in my coming to accept Jesus and my personal Lord and Savior. Thank you again for reading my hubs. I pray that you and your family have a Merry Christmas!!!


SL Perrin profile image

SL Perrin 6 years ago from South Carolina

Heavens thank you for sharing your testamony so openly. I did a sermon once on "What's Your Story" and this fit right in the middle of it. I am so happy that you gave us your story.


Heavensgates profile image

Heavensgates 6 years ago Author

Thank you SL Perrin! I am happy to know that. Sounds like it was an awesome sermon too. Happy New Year!!!


TJBaruch profile image

TJBaruch 6 years ago from Clearwater, FL

Thank you, Heavensgates, for your heartfelt testimony. You're a blessed woman and an anointed writer. I am priviledged to be your fan.


Heavensgates profile image

Heavensgates 6 years ago Author

Thank you TJBaruch! I will also join your hub as a fan, and Happy New Year to you.


BESOBERGOSPEL 6 years ago

I THANK GOD FOR ACCEPTING YOU WHEN YOU ACCEPTED HIM, THAT IS THE GRACE OF GOD AT WORK IN YOUR LIFE.

MAY GOD GIVE YOU THE GRACE TO WORK FOR HIM AND LEAD OTHERS TO JESUS.

MY APPEAL IS THIS.PERHAPS YOU HAVE TRACTS AND GOSPEL MATERIALS GOOD FOR EVANGELISM,DON'T FAIL TO SHIFT THEM TO BESOBER GOSPELS. WE NEED THEM FOR EVANGELISM HERE IN ITALY.

.TEL BESOBER..ITALY..00393394292837.


Blogin Up profile image

Blogin Up 6 years ago

Great Hub!


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Heavensgates 6 years ago Author

Thanks for the post Blogin Up!


Tami Thomas 6 years ago

Toni,

Wow, what a story! You never know what people have been through to build their character. Thank for sharing! God loves you and will always keep you in HIS arms. As the scripture says..."Fear not, for I AM with you!" Blessings!!! (And you are a great writer, too!)


Heavensgates profile image

Heavensgates 6 years ago Author

Thanks Tami for reading and for your post!

I have a feeling this is my girl Tami Thomas from HS and FB. I checked out ur poetry on video a week or so ago, you are awesome girl! Too bad the reunion was cancelled, but all things happen for a reason. And this recession has hit alot of us in general. Be at peace with that, as you have moved on! Thanks again, and c u on FB. Luv T


Jenna 6 years ago

That was so beautiful and inspirational, you really touched my heart-I think you should write a book-you are also very gifted!


Heavensgates profile image

Heavensgates 6 years ago Author

Thank you Jenna for your post and I am glad that you were touched! I have a book online here, "Ready to Soar!" It's not in hard-back yet, but, I have thousands of readers on this site alone. Praise God


Vincent 5 years ago

And I thought we were in Shoop & Mt. Calvary together not realizing as kids you had moved back to Chicago! Wow! And then to see us grow up which so many goals and ambitions. It's really hard to verbalize the depth of God's love, I'm just glad and thankful he does!


Heavensgates profile image

Heavensgates 5 years ago Author

Thanks for reading and responding Vincent! Are you still in Georgia and with your band? I believe This is my friend Vincent on FaceBook and from Morgan Park, right! Blessings


darrylcrawford profile image

darrylcrawford 5 years ago from Philadelphia PA to Tucson AZ.

I REMEMBER WHEN I GAVE MY LIFE TO JESUS CHRIST AS WELL.

IT WAS THE BEST CHOICE I EVERY MADE AND EVERY WILL MAKE.

STAY ENCOURAGED CHECK OUT THIS VIDEO I LOVE TO LISTEN TO WHENEVER I HAVE A TRYING DAY.

http://www.andiesisle.com/video/MyKing.html


CMerritt profile image

CMerritt 5 years ago from Pendleton, Indiana

God is so good!

Excellent hub to share with everyone. It is great to hear testimonys like this.

God bless you...


Heavensgates profile image

Heavensgates 5 years ago Author

Thank you CMerritt!

Our testimony's are special to us and to God. Because they win souls to Jesus Christ, Amen!


Guanta profile image

Guanta 5 years ago from New York City

Thank you so much for your testimony Heavensgates. I'm very greateful to have read it. I came to know the Lord in my late thirties. The Word of God is true, and He is real!


Heavensgates profile image

Heavensgates 3 years ago Author

Thank you two years later Guanta! I am glad you were able to read my testimony!


Charolettec 2 years ago

Toni I always knew you were special and different. I always wanted to be closer to you than I was. I let peer pressure keep me from having a relationship with someone that could have changed my life at a very young age. I was going through so much! I acted out a lot at school because of it. We all have a journey and can make decisions on the paths. We had different paths but Glory be to God for the results of salvation. I really enjoyed your testimony. Thanks for sharing.


Heavensgates profile image

Heavensgates 2 years ago Author

Thank you Charolettec! Yes, we all have different paths and experience different things in life...however, the beauty of it all is when we come to accept and know Jesus on a real personal level!!! Know that you are his daughter, highly favored, and have gifts and your own life to pour into others...love you sister!!!

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