Ten Lucky (or Unlucky) Luchador(a)s Who Could Face Matanza at Ultima Lucha II!
Whether you can believe it or not, it’s nearly been a week since Lucha Underground’s new Immortan, “The Monster” Matanza Cueto, stream rolled into our lives and changed everything about the LU we know and love so much. Now that we’ve recovered from him being such a badass, it’s naturally time to wonder what will be happening next. Who will have the guts to take on Matanza going forward? Better yet, who will the monster defend the Lucha Underground Championship against at Ultima Lucha II? I know, I know; Ultima Lucha II is still months away, there’s no guarantee Matanza will be champion then and COME ON WE ALL KNOW MATANZA WILL STILL BE CHAMPION! Did you see that performance last week? Not even the brain bug from Starship Troopers wants to mess with Matanza right now.
Make no mistake; the Immortan will indeed be our LU Champion going into LU’s premiere show and some brave soul is going to be going against him. And being the wonderful person I am (or so my friends and family tell me), I’ve decided to compile a list of the ten most likely candidates to take on Matanza come Ultima Lucha II. Let’s be clear here; a) this list isn’t candidates of people who’d beat Matanza at UL II, just candidates to face him (there’s a very real chance Matanza would retain in my book) and b) the list reflects the comings and goings of the Temple right now. Thus if you’re upset about someone like Cage or Johnny Mundo being on this list, don’t; there’s certainly a possibility one or both men could become a candidate to face Matanza, it just doesn’t seem that way right now. Ditto for anyone who has yet to debut for LU just yet. With that out of the way, let’s get to the list shall we? ON WITH THE SHOW!
10. Ivelisse
Twists, twists in new places! Honestly, you could talk me into putting Ivelisse higher on this list with the right argument. I get that she’s involved with the Trios Championships and that a match with Catrina still seems like something coming down the road, but a) there’s no guarantee that The Greatest Trios Team That Ever Lived will actually hold onto those belts come Ultima Lucha, b) Catrina currently has her hands full with Pentagon Jr. and Vampiro coming after her boy and c) do you not remember that match Ivelisse had with Mil Muertes to start season two? Not only was that a great title match, but Ivelisse proved she could win against anyone with the right strategy. I’m just saying Ivelisse vs. Matanza is a long shot match that I would put money on with the appropriate odds. Plus how awesome would it be for a woman to bring down the monster? The look on Meltzer’s face would be worth it all by itself!
9. King Cuerno
Poor Deer Antlers. He’s angry, he’s hurting, and he’s had some rotten luck these past few weeks what with Fenix beating him and Rey Mysterio knocking him out of Aztec Warfare early. Even still, Cuerno is always a threat, always a treat to watch and someone who just needs to hit that supremely awesome suicide dive to be a credible threat for the belt once more. Plus, what bigger game is there for a hunter than Matanza? Besting him is an achievement so great it towers over Sonic getting all of the freakin Chaos Emeralds. And trust me, that’s just as hard as beating Matanza.
8. El Dragon Azteca Jr.
Let’s get real fans; the likelihood of El Dragon Azteca Jr. and Matanza crossing paths are as likely as Batman v Superman continuing to make a shitload of money. It’s going to happen sooner than later. Why is Azteca so low here then? Mainly because I’m not sure it’s happening this season. Just because Matanza is totally headlining Ultima Lucha II with the title doesn’t mean he’s losing it that night. He could hold the belt till Ultima Lucha III, Aztec Warfare III; who the hell knows? Regardless, my guess is the Matanza-Azteca tangle isn’t on the cards until sometime in season three. The man in green needs a little establishing before that bout happens, and while he could totally become a big star by the end of this season I reckon we’ll be waiting till the next one before he and the Immortan finally cross paths.
7. Ultimo Panda
Alright I kid. We all know there’s no one named Ultimo Panda in the Temple, which pretty much eliminates any chance he has of main eventing Ultima Lucha. And why would he; everyone knows Matanza would crumble at the mere sight of the Panda. He’s a diabolical monster of a panda after all!
7. Black Lotus
The actual number seven entry and another twist; except is it really a twist? Remember, Black Lotus is still the girl whose parents were offed decades ago and I’m pretty sure El Jefe’s claim that El Dragon Azteca Sr. was the culprit are as truthful as Rafael Palmero in front of congress. She’s going to figure out that Matanza is responsible for her parents death sooner or later, which means the Matanza-Lotus is match is a given. We’re likely still a year away from it (I’d say Azteca-Lotus is an Ultima Lucha match this year before the misunderstanding is resolved) but it’s a guaranteed future match and that alone allows it to be a possibility for Ultima Lucha II.
6. Aerostar
Yes I’m putting my boy Aerostar this high on the list. First off, Aerostar is the man and deserves a shot against the Immortan on that alone. Two, it’s clearly been established that the Intergalactic Maniac is an HP Lovecraft esq ancient astronaut/time traveler who is looking to unite the seven Aztec Tribes against the ultimate evil; spoiler alert, that means he’s going to be a pretty big deal in the future. And finally, I present to you the following poster.
For those who missed it, this was the poster for LU’s first ever live event Austin Warfare, which took place just a few weeks ago at the famous SXSW festival. In a poster littered with the promotion’s top stars, who happens to be that guy in the dead center there? Why that’s Aerostar; not Mil Muertes (who does loom large), not Pentagon Jr., not Prince Puma, Aerostar. Clearly there’s something in the works for our favorite alien once he and Drago finish schooling Jack Evans and the Darewolf, and his back story leads me to believe that it involves Matanza. And yes, let the record show that this is one of the two scenarios I want to happen the most. He may not be the biggest star in the Temple but Aerostar is someone is capable of rising to the top. It’s just a question of how soon.
5. Pentagon Jr.
If this were in regards to Ultima Lucha III, Pentagon Jr. would be number one on this list. Regardless of what becomes of everything else I do think Pentagon will be Lucha Underground Champion by the time Ultima Lucha III ends solidifying him as the undisputed top star of the LU (if he isn’t that already). That said, we’re approaching Ultima Lucha II right now and Pentagon (despite what some whiners may claim) doesn’t need the title yet, especially with all the other stories they can tell with him and Matanza. So while you can’t dismiss the possibility of these two going at it for the big one at the big show, I can’t shake the feeling that both will be doing something else. Thus, Pentagon is only at #5. Excuse me while I go take an insurance policy out on both of my arms.
4. Fenix
I mean, Fenix was just the Lucha Underground Champion and he did have the belt taken from him by Matanza. Those are two things that usually lead to matches between the two soon after. I just can’t seem to shake that the Fenix-Matanza stuff will be taken care of sooner as opposed to later, especially since Fenix has little to prove now that he is a champion (not to mention the fact that he’s bested Mil Muertes twice, something no other man/alien/beast/ghost/dragon in the Temple can claim). In short; Fenix is this high because he’s a main eventer and a bigger, more established name in the Temple that the guys/gals not named Pentagon below him. The perks of being the man.
3. Rey Mysterio
Speaking of the perks of being the man, here’s Rey Mysterio. And yes, this match is a very real Ultima Lucha II possibility. One, Mysterio is by far the most recognizable star in Lucha Underground right now; I don’t care if he’s wrestled one match and I don’t care how beloved El Jefe and Pentagon are (and goodness gracious me they’re beloved), neither has the longevity or the legendary status in this business that Mysterio does. That factor alone makes him vs. Matanza at Ultima Lucha II a big time match, and it gets even bigger when you consider that Mysterio (like Aerostar and his pupil Azteca) is there to band everyone together against Matanza. Oh, and there’s also the fact that Mysterio was the last man to be eliminated by the Immortan in Aztec Warfare II and other than Azteca was the only one who seemed to have any effect on Matanza at all. Put all of that together and this match makes a lot sense. It also allows LU to go with multiple options; Mysterio could beat Matanza and be the one to restore peace to the Temple or Matanza can win despite being pushed to the limit and made to look even stronger, which would help make the man who does eventually beat him even more.
2. Prince Puma
Poor Prince Puma; the fact that the man has been there and done that in the LU main event scene, not to mention all the other talent coming up through the LU ranks, makes it easy to forget he’s a strong possibility here. At the end of the day Puma is still Puma, one of the most electrifying technicos in the Temple and until Mysterio walked in still the most popular alongside his rival Pentagon. You cannot discount the possibility of the rocket being strapped to him again, leading to another Ultima Lucha headlining match against an unstoppable foe. How great would this match be by the way? Yes I know, all of these matches would likely be great to epic in some shape or form, but Puma vs. Matanza feels like a real winner. Hell there’s like a 90% chance both men pull out standing shooting star presses in this! The last time that happened, I was dreaming and Candice LeRae was there. That’s all you need to know!
1. Mil Muertes
Let me be clear here folks; I don’t think Mil Muertes is ultimately the one to beat Matanza and you could most definitely talk me into one of the other peeps on this list getting the shot come July. But the fact of the matter is that Mil hasn’t gotten his one on one rematch for the LU title yet, El Jefe totally just took the Temple back from Catrina, Matanza totally took Mil’s role as LU’s Immortan/dominant monster AND Aztec Warfare conveniently set it up where neither monster crossed paths for the time being. Coincidence? In the words of that cat Aubrey Plaza played in a terrible TV movie once...
The fact is a Matanza-Mil match just makes a whole lot of sense, and not just because there’s a million different storyline elements already there. For crying out loud this would be Matanza vs. Mil Muertes; Beast King vs. Immortan; diabolical hater vs. diabolical hater; face of fear vs. eater of worlds (sorry Bray); monster vs. monster. Ladies and gentlemen I have seen Clash of the Titan, I have witnessed timeless battles between all mighty fighters; hell I’ve even seen a grown man satisfy a camel (just kidding. Or am I?). I do not exaggerate when I say Mil Muertes vs. Matanza, considering the creative team behind them, would be the biggest irresistible force vs. immovable object throw down since Hogan vs. Andre in the Silverdome. And this match would be a thousand times better than that one would be! Be prepared for this to be the main event for Ultima Lucha II and potentially one of the most violent matches in the history of Lucha Underground. There are things these two will do to each other than not even Cannibal Holocaust would dare try. You know, if someone tried to foolishly remake it of course.
And that children is how a column becomes…a column. Yup, totally flubbed that one. In any event I’ll be back tomorrow with another entry of the 201 Non WWE Matches series. I know, first time in awhile for that. Till then, here’s a picture of Pentagon and Drago hanging out with Mortal Kombat character Scorpion. I guess Cage’s distant relative Johnny was unavailable.
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