10 Ways to Act Foolish While You are Skydiving For The First Time

Most people react like this the first time they go skydiving.
Most people react like this the first time they go skydiving.

Here is a list of places and events where acting a fool is not acceptable.

  • Defusing a bomb.
  • Jumping from one car to a run-away car in hopes to stop it before someone gets hurt.
  • Feeding a killer whale.
  • Challenging Floyd "Money"Mayweather to a fight in a dark alley.
  • Having a hot affair with Jessica Alba and taking foolish chances not worrying that you might get caught.
  • Working on a glitch in live nuclear warhead.
  • Skydiving.

It's time, sweetheart.
It's time, sweetheart.

Besides these, there are literally thousands of other tense situations considered life or death where showing your ignorance (on purpose) can lead to these things happening to you:

  • Cursed out.
  • Your butt kicked.
  • Cursed out again.
  • Fired.
  • Blacklisted all over town.
  • Sent to get psychiatric evaluation.

"Why can't I take a nap now?"
"Why can't I take a nap now?"
"Watch my lips flutter."
"Watch my lips flutter."
"I wish everyone were as brave as me."
"I wish everyone were as brave as me."
"I have my eyes closed."
"I have my eyes closed."
"I am a real man."
"I am a real man."
"Watch me hold onto the plane!"
"Watch me hold onto the plane!"

You get the point. We just can't go through life doing what we please without dreadful consequences. I just happen to know a few people like this. And you can believe this or not, but some of them have did just that. Float through life on their own terms. Never compromising. Somehow I envy them.

Rather than bash them, I want to support their stupid actions by offering them an area at random, skydiving, and suggest these . . .

10 Ways to Act Foolish While You are Skydiving For The First Time

  1. Stand in the plane's doorway and eat a few ham and biscuits standing on your head.
  2. Standing outside the plane's door holding to the wing's steel brace with one hand.
  3. Waiting until one minute before you jump to pack your parachute in the plane.
  4. Let the other skydivers watch in horror as you stuff your parachute with huge rocks to show your bravery.
  5. Pay someone to blindfold you before you jump.
  6. Wait until you jump to put your parachute on. (This was against the advice of your instructors).
  7. Jump while facing inside the plane and pouring an exploded soda all over yourself.
  8. Tie a rope to the inside of the plane. Then jump, but hold onto the rope.
  9. Dive only using your emergency parachute.
  10. Dive while holding an agitated rattlesnake in your hands.

Note: I will not add you to the list of people whom I envy.

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Comments 2 comments

Alejandro 18 months ago

e2809cWee28099re spending $1 milioln more a day than wee28099re taking in. I have a golf date. Good luck!e2809d That was the most cheerful news we were to hear for quite some time.California state government was increasing by about 5,000 new employees a year. We were the welfare capital of the world with 16 percent of the natione28099s caseload. Soon, Californiae28099s caseload was increasing by 40,000 a month.We turned to the people themselves for help. Two hundred and fifty experts in the various fields volunteered to serve on task forces at no cost to the taxpayers. They went into every department of state government and came back with 1,800 recommendations on how modern business practices could be used to make government more efficient. We adopted 1,600 of them.We instituted a policy of e2809ccut, squeeze and trime2809d and froze the hiring of employees as replacements for retiring employees or others leaving state service.After a few years of struggling with the professional welfarists, we again turned to the people. First, we obtained another task force and, when the legislature refused to help implement its recommendations, we presented the recommendations to the electorate.It still took some doing. The legislature insisted our reforms would not work; that the needy would starve in the streets; that the workload would be dumped on the counties; that property taxes would go up and that wee28099d run up a deficit the first year of $750 milioln.That was four years ago. Today, the needy have had an average increase of 43 percent in welfare grants in California, but the taxpayers have saved $2 billion by the caseload not increasing that 40,000 a month. Instead, there are some 400,000 fewer on welfare today than then.Forty of the statee28099s 58 counties have reduced property taxes for two years in a row (some for three). That $750-milioln deficit turned into an $850-milioln surplus which we returned to the people in a one-time tax rebate. That wasne28099t easy. One state senator described that rebate as e2809can unnecessary expenditure of public funds.e2809dFor more than two decades governmentse28094federal, state, locale28094have been increasing in size two-and-a-half times faster than the population increase. In the last 10 years they have increased the cost in payroll seven times as fast as the increase in numbers.We have just turned over to a new administration in Sacramento a government virtually the same size it was eight years ago. With the statee28099s growth rate, this means that government absorbed a workload increase, in some departments as much as 66 percent.We also turned overe28094for the first time in almost a quarter of a centurye28094a balanced budget and a surplus of $500 milioln. In these eight years just passed, we returned to the people in rebates, tax reductions and bridge toll reductions $5.7 billion. All of this is contrary to the will of those who deplore conservatism and profess to be liberals, yet all of it is pleasing to its citizenry.Make no mistake, the leadership of the Democratic party is still out of step with the majority of Americans.Speaker Carl Albert recently was quoted as saying that our problem is e2809c60 percent recession, 30 percent inflation and 10 percent energy.e2809d That makes as much sense as saying two and two make 22.Without inflation there would be no recession. And unless we curb inflation we can see the end of our society and economic system. The painful fact is we can only halt inflation by undergoing a period of economic dislocatione28094a recession, if you will.We can take steps to ease the suffering of some who will be hurt more than others, but if we turn from fighting inflation and adopt a program only to fight recession we are on the road to disaster.In his first address to Congress, the president asked Congress to join him in an all-out effort to balance the budget. I think all of us wish that he had re-issued that speech instead of this yeare28099s budget message.What side can be taken in a debate over whether the deficit should be $52 billion or $70 billion or $80 billion preferred by the profligate Congress?Inflation has one cause and one cause only: government spending more than government takes in. And the cure to inflation is a balanced budget. We know, of course, that after 40 years of social tinkering and Keynesian experimentation that we cane28099t do this all at once, but it can be achieved. Balancing the budget is like protecting your virtue: you have to learn to say e2809cno.e2809dThis is no time to repeat the shopworn panaceas of the New Deal, the Fair Deal and the Great Society. John Kenneth Galbraith, who, in my opinion, is living proof that economics is an inexact science, has written a new book. It is called e2809cEconomics and the Public Purpose.e2809d In it, he asserts that market arrangements in our economy have given us inadequate housing, terrible mass transit, poor health care and a host of other miseries. And then, for the first time to my knowledge, he advances socialism as the answer to our problems.Shorn of all side issues and extraneous matter, the problem underlying all others is the worldwide contest for the hearts and minds of mankind. Do we find the answers to human misery in freedom as it is known, or do we sink into the deadly dullness of the Socialist ant heap?Those who suggest that the latter is some kind of solution are, I think, open to challenge. Lete28099s have no more theorizing when actual comparison is possible. There is in the world a great nation, larger than ours in territory and populated with 250 milioln capable people. It is rich in resources and has had more than 50 uninterrupted years to practice socialism without opposition.We could match them, but it would take a little doing on our part. Wee28099d have to cut our paychecks back by 75 percent; move 60 milioln workers back to the farm; abandon two-thirds of our steel-making capacity; destroy 40 milioln television sets; tear up 14 of every 15 miles of highway; junk 19 of every 20 automobiles; tear up two-thirds of our railroad track; knock down 70 percent of our houses; and rip out nine out of every 10 telephones. Then, all we have to do is find a capitalist country to sell us wheat on credit to keep us from starving!Our people are in a time of discontent. Our vital energy supplies are threatened by possibly the most powerful cartel in human history. Our traditional allies in Western Europe are experiencing political and economic instability bordering on chaos.We seem to be increasingly alone in a world grown more hostile, but we let our defenses shrink to pre-Pearl Harbor levels. And we are conscious that in Moscow the crash build-up of arms continues. The SALT II agreement in Vladivostok, if not re-negotiated, guarantees the Soviets a clear missile superiority sufficient to make a e2809cfirst strikee2809d possible, with little fear of reprisal. Yet, too many congressmen demand further cuts in our own defenses, including delay if not cancellation of the B-1 bomber.I realize that miliolns of Americans are sick of hearing about Indochina, and perhaps it is politically unwise to talk of our obligation to Cambodia and South Vietnam. But we pledgede28094in an agreement that brought our men home and freed our prisonerse28094to give our allies arms and ammunition to replace on a one-for-one basis what they expend in resisting the aggression of the Communists who are violating the cease-fire and are fully aided by their Soviet and Red Chinese allies. Congress has already reduced the appropriation to half of what they need and threatens to reduce it even more.Can we live with ourselves if we, as a nation, betray our friends and ignore our pledged word? And, if we do, who would ever trust us again? To consider committing such an act so contrary to our deepest ideals is symptomatic of the erosion of standards and values. And this adds to our discontent.We did not seek world leadership; it was thrust upon us. It has been our destiny almost from the first moment this land was settled. If we fail to keep our rendezvous with destiny or, as John Winthrop said in 1630, e2809cDeal falsely w


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kenneth avery 18 months ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

Alejandro,

I have to tell you. This comment IS THE longest, most-interesting comment I have received in my four-year membership on HP. You bring out several legit points which I understood, but do you not think that less governmental control or involvement when it comes to the (true) welfare cases, it would be a smoother ride?

True. Abuse of this system is growing wilder by the year, but a state government that is already overloaded, over-committed to other projects simply cannot bear the burden of spending when it comes to the welfare area. Just my opinion.

Your comment is very bright and well-written.

Thank you.

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