Who are Paul London's Sidekicks? Another Lucha Underground Investigation

So how about that Lucha Underground trailer? It’s been two days since the evil genius’ in Boyle Heights dropped that bad boy (right in the middle of CMLL’s Anniversary press conference no less) and after many viewings and one really sweet column with my pal Leaf over at LOP the only thing I can do is quote my good friend Joe Brown when I say PAUL LONDON BABY! Yes, many more things happened in the season three trailer, but for my money the best part (not counting Taya breaking my heart) was the grand reveal of the Intrepid Traveler/Danger Bee/Dolphin Master (and one of my favorite all time performers) being part of season three, finally allowing a truly unique performer to show what he can do on TV again. Of course that wasn’t all; naturally someone as delightfully out there as London would appear in this trailer dressed as a mad hatter and sporting a symbol on the back of his jacket that resembled a rabbit. Oh and then there were the two dudes with him.

Apparently not only has Paul added the title or “Rabbit Master” to his long list of titles during his time away from the spotlight but he’s found two new followers as well; one guy dressed up like a mohawked rabbit and another one who is either the biggest checkers/chess fan ever or someone who really doesn’t want us to know who he is. We’ll refer to these guys as “The Chessman” and “The Black Rabbit” for now, and while they certainly weren’t the only newcomers to be found in the trailer (hello Johnny Mundo clone), they certainly were the most mysterious. And you know me and mystery wrestlers; like Lloyd Dobler with Diane Court, I simply cannot stay away. That comparison made sense right? Who cares, because it’s time to dust off your magnifying glasses and resist the urge to now rent Say Anything … from your local video store, mainly because that video store doesn’t exist anymore (DAMN YOU TECHNOLOGY FOR MAKING IT OBSOLETE!). Well that and because it’s time to investigate the identities of Paul London’s two new pals. Let’s start off with the clues.

The Chessman

I mean this dude makes it pretty easy; he’s decked out in a checkered pattern mask and a checkered pattern suit, which means he’s either a massive checkers/chess nut or he’s a really big fan of those checkered tile patterns you’ll find on the floor and walls of a Pizzeria Uno’s bathroom. Besides that, you’d be surprised to know that this checkered man may also be taller than you think at first glance, and may or may not have a little bit of flab in the middle. Of course he is leaning down in the video and, again, looks like a dude who is way into that checkered pattern found in a Uno’s bathroom. Maybe the guy just loves the Uno’s bathroom, and who wouldn’t after a plate of those hot wings they serve there?

The Black Rabbit

Supposedly there’s a shot of this character you can find all the way back in the opening montage of Lucha Underground Episode 1 (that’s right; the one where it all began), but upon reviewing it I either missed the dude or he’s not there. If he was, he looks much different know, decked out in a mask with a mohawk and what look to be goggles. He appears to be smaller than his other fellow rookie and also sports a goatee on the chin. Most notably is that his shirt shows the symbol of a rabbit, which I guess means that he, “The Chessman” and London are part of the rabbit tribe. Somewhere the "American Dolphin" Bryan Danielson and a pod of dolphin/bee hybrids weep at this news. Hopefully they don’t start a petition to shoehorn a dolphin tribe into the show; it's too late guys!

So that’s the gist of both guys. Who could they be? Let’s toss some theories around, starting with The Chessman.

Chessman

I know what you’re thinking, “Oh Cult, you’re such a funny guy. Suggesting Chessman is The Chessman? Classic.” First off, yes it is a classic and a little too easy a direction to go with. And yet…it also kind of makes sense right? Sure Chessman already has a pretty decent gimmick and look going in AAA as its resident Wolfpac Sting, but that doesn’t mean squat in LU where guys like Hijo del Fantasma have become King Cuerno. There’s also the fact that this Chessman appears to be a bigger wrestler than you’d think, which fits the bill for the 6’0, 230 lb original down in AAA. The only reason I’m not fully on board with this is because I do think it be a little too on the nose for Chessman to be an actually Chessman. Plus, wouldn’t LU just show him to be Chessman instead of giving him a new look? The fact that you can’t tell who it is suggests that it’s someone we know whose identity is being kept hidden for purposes. Which leads us too…

Bael

Could it be after all this time that the man who was taken to us far too soon is making a return? At first glance it’s tough, because Bael isn’t the biggest dude (5’10, 200 lbs) and this Chessman appears to be bigger than most. Of course you could also argue that it truly is tough to tell with the Chessman leaning down, not to mention that both London and the Rabbit aren’t exactly tall themselves; for all we know this Chessman could be 5’10 and would look bigger with London and the Rabbit being on the smaller scale. I know, not much to go on, but there’s just something about the fact that EVERYTHING about this guy is covered up. And that means there’s a shot that this is Bael. It’s not like he can just walk back in as another character looking like the guy who Matanza turned into Oberyn Martel, another poor bastard taken from us too soon. YOU COULD’VE JUST LEFT WELL ENOUGH ALONE MARTEL!

Mr. Cisco

CISCO! MY SWEET CISCO! I swear that’s the last time I’m doing that. With all due respect to the great Bael, Mr. Cisco being the Chessman would be my preferred choice between the two. I’m not sure how it would work considering Cisco is probably too short to be this guy but who cares; I’m still bummed out about the fact that Cisco was offed at the end of season two just as he was starting to show how good a performer he was, and somehow someway I want it to continue. If it takes putting him in this Chessman outfit to do it, so be it. And once more, the fact that this guy is fully disguised is too much of a hint to ignore, which gives me hope that Cisco is returning to entertain us, checkered from head to toe.

And yeah, that’s all I’ve got for the Chessman. What can I say, there’s not a lot to go on there, unlike the Black Rabbit who has a ton of options. Speaking of the Black Rabbit suspects...

Steve Pain

Much like the Cubs against the Cardinals, Steve Pain is the favorite in this list of suspects. He makes sense because he’s a member (or at least was) of the AAA roster, he’s developed into a well regarded rudo according to many fans and critics and his chemistry with AAA/LU crossover guys (particularly Aerostar) is so sublime it would be truly stunning if Pain didn’t show up in the Temple sooner or later. Oh and then there’s the little known fact that he’s actually from Los Angeles, has returned to living there after AAA stopped booking him earlier this year and interesting sports the same style hairdo that the Black Rabbit happens to have. Coincidence? I think not! If I had to put my money down on anyone for this role, it would be Pain. Excuse me while I go fantasize about a Fenix/Aerostar/Drago vs. Team London match featuring at least London and Pain. Whoa…I think I just nearly passed out!

Averno

If the “Chessman is Chessman” theory turns out to be correct, you can pretty much pencil in Averno being this guy. It just makes too much sense. For one Averno and Chessman are tag partners down in AAA and just had a reign as the AAA World Tag Team Champions; keeping them together coming up into LU only makes sense. Secondly, Averno is a guy who frankly feels like he should’ve been in Lucha Underground already. He’s one of the unsung heroes of lucha libre the past decade (most notably thanks to his legendary feud with Mistico/Sin Cara/Myzteziz/Caristico/Holy-Shit- Does-That-Man-Have-a-Ton-of-Names) and a lucha libre star who, much like Dr. Wagner Jr., deserves some shine on American TV. Combine that with the fact that Averno has the goatee look and a similar build to this guy and the only thing keeping me from predicting it’s him is the fact that Averno already had a mask (which he lost to La Mascara a few years ago) and it’s generally frowned upon putting the mask back on. Would Lucha Underground care that much about it? That’s the question.

Vinnie Massaro

This would actually disappoint me greatly due to me fantasy booking Vinnie as a pizza delivery guy who gets caught up in all of Lucha Underground’s wackiness and eventually becomes the unlikely hero we all deserve and need right now. At the same token Vinnie has been away for so long and, no disrespect Vinnie, the last time we saw him his arm was getting popped Oberyn Martel’s head. The point is; Vinnie needs some repackaging, and what better repackaging could Vinnie get then to become the Black Rabbit, sidekick to Intrepid Traveler Paul London? It’s no pizza delivery man gimmick, but it still works. Damn I still want that so bad though!

Ricky Marvin

Poor Ricky had a nice thing going as Bengala, until he hit one too many buffet tables and all but crippled Kobra Moon’s run in season two before it even began. Since then AAA has repackaged Ricky as…well Ricky, and I suppose that could mean LU could be primed to do the same. Would I bank on it being him? Probably not, especially with the other three guys making a lot more sense. And…yeah that’s it. Sorry Ricky; may the catering be as good to you in season three as it was in season two I suppose.

That’ll do it folks! If you have any other theories on who the identity of these two might be, by all means let me know in the comments section (of course if you actually know the identity, don’t tell us at all. Friends don’t let friends post Lucha Underground spoilers!). I’ll be back tomorrow with some more Paul London talk; consider this a Paul London weekend if you will! Till then, silence!