CMLL Tuesday: King Tritón

I think I had the unique experience of being the only person I know that watched CMLL tonight. I wasn’t actually the only person alive to watch it of course (over 2,100 tuned in to YouTube), but with every lucha/wrestling fan I know either watching Smackdown or taking power naps to prepare for Wrestling Kingdom 11 (if Omega loses, we complain vigorously) it was a lonely experience. Naturally it also led to a pretty decent CMLL show, because of course it be decent with no one around. There were flaws, notably the fact that CMLL continued their alarming trend of putting all the veterans over the young guys for reasons I don’t know. But aside from the luchadoras match the quality of work was solid, and the Lighting Match between Tritón and Sagrado was like a 7 Up while watching the Cubs win the World Series all over again. But let’s not waste time; you’ve got Wrestle Kingdom to watch soon! Moses; meme to the bone.

Demus 3:16 & Pequeño Universo 2000 defeated Acero & Aéreo two falls to one

If only CMLL had made this a singles match between Demus and Aéreo. They were the only two to show up in this tag and luckily were paired together most of the match, leading to some nice Demus power spots and a whole lot of aerial assaults from Aéreo (he even broke out a second rope Spanish Fly at one point). Those two made this match pretty good. Unfortunately Pequeño Universo and Acero were there to bring it back down. Both guys were trying, but Universo is practically useless at this point while Acero is about as polished as the female lead in The Warriors (can’t remember her name at the moment). The man attempted at least five hurricanranas in this match and each one had me convinced he needed to stop attempting that move for the rest of his life. It was brutal to watch, though not as brutal as Acero shifting midair when Demus hit that elevated Piledriver of his on him to end the match. Just another reason why he and Universo should’ve stayed home while Aéreo and Demus took care of business. Do that and this would’ve been a hot opener; instead it was the usual average way to start off a show.

Estrellita, Sanely, Skadi defeated La Seductora, Metálica, Reyna Isis two falls to one

I hated this match. Hated, hated, hated, (all caps alert) HATED this match. I think I loathed this more than I loathed St. Anger, so much so that I’m probably being harder on this match than I should. Oh who am I kidding; this match was a train wreck. For about fifteen minutes I got to watch Reyna Isis show that she learned nothing from her Japan exile except to move even slower than before. For example, poor Estrellita (a statement I never thought I’d make) at one point almost dove face first into the mat because Reyna was too slow getting back in the ring to take an arm drag. It’s even worse than it sounds folks, and the only saving grace for Isis is that no one else in this match was that much better. La Seductora continued to be a walking case of nothingness. Skadi tried but remains limited. Sanely and Metálica, the only two luchadoras here who I’d say are decent, had absolutely nothing to do. Estrellita was the only one who looked good in this match, and when that happens you know you’ve fucked up royally. At the end of the day I feel bad using that many words on this match when really the following statement sums it up; this match sucked and any match that doesn’t feature Zeuxis, Dalys or Marcela should just be skipped from now on. Yup, totally should’ve just said that.

Okumura, Skándalo, Virus defeated Oro Jr., Pegasso, Star Jr. two falls to one

Here’s where the show started to go off the rails as far as finishes goes. Match quality wise I actually thought this was okay. Sure Pegasso continues to make you long for better luchadors to take his place, Okumura wasn’t quite as good as he usually is and Skándalo is about a useful as a cock flavored lollipop. The other 50% of the match however was sublime. Star Jr., as usual, stepped up and looked great, even though he didn’t get to hit his usual corkscrew dive. Oro Jr. was significantly more energized and polished than his last match, and redeemed his piss poor 619 by hitting a pitch perfect one this time around (it’s a shame CMLL cannot keep that kid’s confidence up more consistently). And Virus; I don’t know how he gets himself up for these meaningless trios but he did so again and was excellent. The only things I’ve loved more recently than his opening mat sequence with Oro and everything else he did in this match are Volador-La Máscara, Tritón, Cage-Texano match five, Zeuxis, Becky Lynch, 7 Up and those Orlando Jones 7 Up commercials from the 90’s.

Because this is CMLL though, things had to go south with the finish of the match, which saw Okumura pin Oro Jr. and (and this legit happened) Skándalo pinning Star Jr. Yes; Skándalo, the Brendan Fraiser of luchadors, pinned Star Jr., in a move that could only make sense if Skándalo’s father was booking the show (oh wait; HE IS!). Not that anyone from CMLL is reading this but I’d like to officially call them morons for this decision. Star Jr. is a stud. Oro Jr., while not nearly as good on a consistent basis, is a talented dude. And yet you’re going to have them put over Skándalo and (to a lesser extent) Okumura? Vince McMahon wouldn’t even do that…okay he would, but he’d be hopped up on a lot of Quaaludes first before he did. This was a fucking dumb decision that sucked the air out of an otherwise decent match and really makes you question what some of these CMLL officials are thinking. Sadly I’m sure we’ll be wondering the same thing next week when Arkángel is pinning Soberano (I kid! I kid!).

Lightning Match

Sagrado defeated Tritón

Another match where the finish was sort of a bummer, only this time everything leading up to it was so good it didn’t matter. I thought this was easily the match of the night, and that was despite Sagrado having an off night by his recent standards. I don’t know if he got hurt or something, but he was definitely moving slower the longer this match went and didn’t attempt several moves he usually goes for (such as his Lionsault). He still worked as hard as he could though, and he was helped greatly by Tritón. Have I mentioned how much I’ve missed that guy? I will be now because he was out of this world good in this match. There were numerous dives, walk on the ropes hurricanrana’s to the floor, crazy transitions, springboard cutters, a 450 splash; I remember Tritón being awesome but not this awesome. It was a standout performance you only once a month on the Tuesday show and its clear Tritón was trying to show CMLL just what they’ve been missing out on. Time will tell if it worked and if the finish (Sagrado winning) is any indication it may still be an uphill battle. But at least for tonight Tritón reminded us just how excellent a performer he is and delivered the first great solo performance of 2017 by my calculations. Hopefully we can get this match again when Sagrado is on top form; I reckon these two can get even crazier than they did here.

Ephesto, Hechicero, Ripper defeated Drone, Guerrero Maya Jr., Johnny Idol two falls to one

A better than expected semi-main, despite the fact that once more the finish to this match saw the young technicos falling to the ancient rudos (Ripper, Ephesto) and the cool dude they brought to hang out with them for the night (Hechicero). Honestly Hechicero’s presence here and the fact that he got a pin are the only reasons I’m not rage quitting on this finish. Take him away and this column would’ve been like Vancouver after Game 7.

As I said earlier though, the rest of this match was fine; hell it was better than fine actually. I didn’t think it started off particularly promising, but once Drone, Idol and Maya were allowed to do stuff at the end of the second fall things picked up quickly and stayed energetic the rest of the way. All three of those guys were superb, and they got nice support from Hechicero (naturally) and even Ephesto, who had an extra spring in his step tonight (probably because he was winning). The finish does dampen things a bit but overall it’s hard to get too mad about this match because I really wasn’t expecting anything going in. Instead it ended up being pretty good and a nice showcase for the three technicos the next time people question if they’re really good. Now if only CMLL could give Maya, Idol and Drone something cool to do. Especially Idol; the fact that it took CMLL this long to let him cut as loose as he did tonight is just…yeesh.

Euforia, Negro Casas, Rey Bucanero defeated Máximo Sexy, Stuka Jr., Volador Jr. two falls to one

I think the best way to sum up this match is to call it a nice crowd pleasing main event to close the show with a few flashes of brilliance. My favorite parts were a) the Máximo-Casas interactions and b) everything Euforia did. The former didn’t have a whole lot of in ring substance to it but it sure as hell was entertaining, with Máximo using his antics to get under Casas’ skin and Casas (who we forget is not just a great worker but one of the most versatile performers of all time) playing it off as only he can. And Euforia I thought was just terrific. He always is, but it felt like tonight he got more to do than usual, including getting a pin on Stuka that 9 times out of 10 wouldn’t have happened to him. The best part is that he did all of that in between catching Stuka and catching Volador on one of the prettiest from the ring to the floor hurricanranas in the history of the western hemisphere. Why CMLL isn’t running a Euforia-Volador match is a mystery I don’t understand and something they need to get on immediately. At least they had that sequence tonight and closed the show with an enjoyable match. And hey, maybe it’ll also prove to be the start of a Máximo-Casas feud that leads to a highly entertaining Máximo-Casas match (Casas did foul Máximo to get the win after all). Fuckin A, I just totally jinxed it didn’t I?

That’s the show sports fans. I’m off till tomorrow, where I’ll bring you some Lucha Underground goodness and either a Lucha Tribute or possibly an early preview for CMLL’s big Friday show. Take a look at the card and you’ll see what I mean. Till whichever of those comes first, SCULLY strikes back!

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