LuchaPalooza! Predicting the Ultima Lucha Tres Card
Welp, this weekend hasn’t exactly gone to plan. I was hoping that yesterday would see me review the CMLL Anniversary Show (being shown on CMLL’s VOD a day late because REASONS!), followed by me doing a preview of the IWRG show happening today. Unfortunately it doesn’t appear that I can watch that IWRG show which means it be pointless to preview or review and the Anniversary Show wasn’t available yesterday on VOD because who the hell knows? Needless to say it’s finally up now; only those bastards made me wait so I shall make them wait as well. So what’s on tap? Some Lucha Underground talk of course. That is the final event of LuchaPalooza of course, with LU returning Wednesday for their season three premiere. As such it’s got me all excited for the future; the somewhat near distant future that is. Which is why I’m bringing you some really, REALLY early predictions on what Ultima Lucha Tres is going to look like. I know what you’re thinking; didn’t you do this last year for Ultima Lucha Dos and it blew up in your face Die Hard: With a Vengeance style (PANCAKE SYRUP?!)? Yes it did, but who cares? We need something to talk about and I just know I’m going to get at least one of these right. I’m a genius after all, or so I tell myself. But enough about my closeted narcissism, let’s break down the third Grand Papi of Them All. Moses, LU’s coming back. Meme it in with style!
Night One
Falls Count Anywhere Match
Cage vs. The Mack
Normally I’m not big on the whole “Fight Forever” epidemic that is sweeping wrestling after Sami Zayn and Shinsuke Nakamura went the plaid at Takeover: Dallas this year. I’ll make an exception for Cage-Big Willie III because we absolutely need Cage-Big Willie III and the only people who don’t think this haven’t seen Cage-Big Willie’s I and II. These two have stolen the show at the last two Ultima Luchas and curiously no one has gotten one up on the other yet with both men collecting wins. I say Cage and Mack have the war to settle the score at Ultima Lucha Tres in yet another Falls Count Anywhere match that’s even crazier than the last two. I don’t know how but it will be. Maybe Big Willie actually brings in Steve Austin to do the beer bash stunner routine this time. You just never know in the Temple.
Gift of the Gods Championship Match
Texano vs. Daga vs. Dr. Wagner Jr. vs. Taya vs. Angelico vs. Drago vs. King Cuerno
I liked the “For a Unique Opportunity” tournament at Ultima Lucha Dos and I liked that it got Dr. Wagner Jr. strong heat for the upcoming season. But I think that sort of tournament is best served for happening somewhere in the middle of the season this time around while Ultima Lucha Tres goes with the Ultima Lucha Uno formula by having a big multi-person match in the middle of night one. The Gift of the Gods match works perfectly for that, even if it’s a crapshoot as to who would be in it. I do like my chances at getting at least a few of these right though. Texano is a guy who just makes sense here, as he’s a good enough performer to always be in this bout but still hasn’t connected enough to get a huge match outside of the GOTG confines. Guys like Wagner and Daga will both have storylines for the bulk of the season but as it winds down and others rise up will need a place, and this fits. And the rest just make sense from the standpoint that I’d like to see them get a singles push. Taya is ready to compete for a singles title. Ditto for Drago and Deer Antlers, who were both Lucha Underground Championship contenders in season one before settling into other things in season two. And is there any guy more overdo for a shot at singles gold than the great Angelico? How many more rooftops does he have to dive off till he gets the shot?! I say he’s in this match and looks to be the favorite before Deer Antlers steals the match and the title from him, leading to a feud we can all believe in.
Killshot vs. AR Fox
Holy controversial choice for the Night One headliner Batman! Is it really though? I know people are assuming that Killshot and Fox (or whatever he’ll be called) will be pals due to Fox looking a whole lot like a soldier guy in the season three trailer. And obviously if he’s a solider that just automatically means he and Killshot will team up, take down the Moths and then find another soldier buddy to go after the Trios Titles right?
Now maybe that is in the cards for LU but I don’t quite buy that yet. You gotta remember; Killshot kind of sort of abandoned Fox out in the warzone all those many moons ago. Or at least you can twist that into a version of events that Fox believes, which has the makings of a great feud between Fox, who feels his friend abandoned him, and the tortured Killshot, who now has to face not just the horror of what he saw overseas every day but the fact that he’s seen by his former friend as a coward and a traitor. That is GREAT TV right there and we all know LU doesn’t generally pass up the chance for great TV. I think we see this one and if we do, you’ll thank me. Especially once you see AR Fox wrestle; you’ll be thanking me so hard it’ll be as though I work for LU.
Night Two
Four Way Match for the Lucha Underground Trios Championships
Kobra Kingdom (c) vs. Paul London, The Black Rabbit and The Chessman vs. Mil Muertes, Sami Callihan and Sinestro de la Muerte vs. Worldwide Underground
The two match formula worked for Night Two this past year so let’s do it again, starting with a Trios Championship match with a higher body count than Scream’s 1 and 2. Some may see this as a steep decline for Mil Muertes after he was the man for so much of the first two seasons, but a) he’s exhausted almost every main event feud he has, b) he doesn’t need to be in the title scene and c) it’s pretty clear that he and Sami Callihan are going to be buds come season three. Combine that with Sinestro already being associated with Mil and there you have a new, far superior Disciples of Death lineup than the first one. The rest of the teams all make sense. Kobra Moon clearly has two guys/gals lined up to team with her and it’s pretty clear they’ll be going after the Trios Titles based off the season three trailer. I understand the resistance to maybe putting them over the current Trios Champs, but Fenix, Aerostar and Drago are all guys that deserve to be doing bigger things anyway so it’s no harm. Meanwhile Paul London and his crew have Trios Titles contender written all over them and there’s no way Worldwide Underground is going away. In fact now they have a way to keep the group together while also branching out Taya and Johnny into more singles matches thanks to whoever the Johnny Mundo clone they happened to find. I really like the chances of this match happening and again, wouldn’t it just be great if it did? I’d watch it just to see the sequence where Mil runs over EVERYONE in this match for a good five minutes. It'll be the first Buffy-Glory fight all over again.
Sexy Star vs. Johnny Mundo
I just…I got a funny feeling about this one folks. It makes sense the more I think about it. Johnny Mundo has yet to be portrayed as a guy who thinks the females aren’t good enough to hang with him, but you can tell he can easily switch into that mode at a moment’s notice and probably do just as well as Chessman and Averno did playing the misogynist rudo in AAA. And if you’re going to go that route, who’s the better woman to take Mundo on than Sexy, a woman whose gimmick is that she’s a bad ass fighter looking to prove women can dish it out just as good as the guys. Maybe it doesn’t happen here but I can guarantee you this match will happen at some point in season three. It makes too much sense for it to not occur.
Night Three
Fenix and Aerostar vs. The Moths
I know; feels a little thrown together doesn’t it? The problem is that all four people in this match deserve to be on the card but there are other potential top matches that make a lot more sense than this one. Thus here we are with Fenix and Aerostar opening Act III against Marty and Mariposa. What the issue is beats me; maybe the Moths decide Fenix and Aerostar are next on the list of targets, maybe a Lucha Underground Tag Team Championship belt is created, who knows. This is pretty much just here because it makes sense with the rest of the predictions; I honestly hope I’m missing something so these two teams can have more to do. If nothing else the match should be fine, and I have often dreamed of Marty and Aerostar tangling. Who doesn’t like it when ancient aliens and bugs duel?
Ivelisse vs. Catrina
It won’t be the main event but this match, which I consider to be a moral lock for the show, will be the main attraction. It’s no coincidence that the match is second on Night Three either, because it’s going to do the same thing that the second match of Ultima Lucha Uno did; steal the whole gorram thing. Hell it may even be better than Pentagon vs. Vampiro was. That match had a great buildup but Ivelisse vs. Catrina is something that feels like it’s been in the works since the show began. They’ve crossed paths, they’ve made threats, they’ve beaten each other up and Catrina definitely indicated that Ivelisse is still on her mind when she cost her that match against Taya at Ultima Lucha Tres. I say stretch this bad boy out just a little bit longer and culminate it at the Grand Papi at Them All for what should be one of the most memorable LU matches ever. We’ve all wanted this for a long ass time now and it’s time LU made it happen.
El Dragon Azteca Jr. vs. Matanza
Notice how this isn’t a title match? Don’t worry, I’ll explain in a moment. It wouldn’t surprise me to see Black Lotus and her ninja army teased in the season three trailer involved here, either joining Azteca to create a huge handicap match or taking the place of Azteca altogether. That said, the far more pleasing match (all due respect to Lotus) and the far more appropriate one is Azteca vs. Matanza. The monster may not have killed El Dragon Azteca Sr. but he’s also the reason both Azteca’s have been fighting this war all along and arguably the reason everyone LU is in the mess they’re in the first place. It makes sense from that standpoint and it further makes sense that some young guy should be the one to dethrone Matanza in singles competition. And that’s the key word there; Matanza can go into this match without being beaten one on one but still not be champion thanks to a little thing called Aztec Warfare III. That is going to happen and I’d bet that Matanza drops the belt there and moves on to other things. El Dragon Azteca Jr. sounds like a great other thing to me and he’s the perfect guy to get the rub from Matanza now that Pentagon Jr. failed in his chance.
Rey Mysterio Jr. vs. The Lord
This is largely contingent upon whether this Lord fellow is a wrestler or not; if he isn’t then you can probably pencil Rey in for the Lucha Underground Championship match while also splitting up the Moths-Fenix/Aerostar tag. If the Lord does wrestle though, who better than Mysterio to take on the new great threat? Hell, who better than Mysterio for the new threat to beat to show he’s a threat? I’d say this is the second closest thing to a lock right now aside from Ivelisse-Catrina and depending on who the Lord is it should be a damn good match. We’ve clearly seen that Mysterio still has it, especially against top flight talent. Speaking off…
Triple Threat Match for the Lucha Underground Championship Match
Prince Puma (c) vs. Pentagon Dark vs. Son of Havoc
Now how about this for a main event that’s both somewhat expected AND surprising. Let’s get real here folks; Puma and Pentagon will be in this main event. They are the top two guys for as long as they want to hang around LU and after Ultima Lucha Dos ended for both there’s no way they aren’t involved in the main event picture here. Plus, who better than Puma to take the belt off Matanza, even if it’s in Aztec Warfare III. But Son of Havoc main eventing? Really? Yes folks really. And it’s mainly because of that ending to that “For a Unique Opportunity” tournament that everyone hated so much. Son of Havoc is a great performer and a super likable guy, but prior to that tourney that was all he was; well that and one third of the Greatest Trios Team that Ever Lived. Those three things weren’t enough to justify Havoc winning one tournament and suddenly being a main eventer at Ultima Lucha Tres (which he would’ve gotten if he beat Wagner). Getting screwed by El Jefe, Famous B and the Good Doctor and losing that though? That’s the sort of stuff that leads you on the road to being more justified than the TV show Justified.
And make no mistake, that’s what will get Son of Havoc over this season. Now he has a purpose besides being one part of trios team, now he has motivation to get to the top spot he was so close to having and best of all now he has sympathy because, again, he got Brook Hogan level screwed by the rudo authority figure, the top rudo manager and one of the most legendary rudos in lucha libre today. All that was missing was Bully Ray coming out to say that they had “screwwwwwwwwwwwwwedddd” Havoc like he did after the Aces and Eights formation. Combine that with the fact that LU higher ups have been talking about how big a part of the show Havoc will eventually play and the appearance of more Havoc lookalikes in the season three trailer and I’m thinking season three is going to be about the rise of Havoc. That doesn’t mean he’ll win here; I’d place all my money on Pentagon being the guy taking home the gold here and finally solidifying himself as numero cero in the LU pecking order (and yes that means Puma will fall to 0-3 at Ultima Luchas. He’s like the Big Show of LU!). But I’ll guarantee you now Havoc will be a big deal, and if nothing else he’ll be set up as Pentagon’s main foil going forward. Maybe then people will realize how brilliant that tournament was. Nah, probably not.
That’s it folks. I’m now off to FINALLY watch the CMLL Anniversary Show. I’ll have a review of that up later in the day and also a preview of tomorrow’s CMLL show in Puebla! Till then, get the Spidey meme!
