WWE Battleground 2014 Card and Predictions

We can't start with anything too exciting.
Let's just hope this match doesn't turn into a Sonic advertisement.
I'll take the new guy, Adam Rose, and all of his rosebuds over that lemon, Fandango.
Expect some interference from Summer Rae and Layla.

Winner- Fandango and Zack Ry-I mean the bunny.

Good. God. Why?
This feud is stupid.
I'd rather watch Eugene and Santino play checkers.
I'd rather watch another WEELC match.
I'd rather watch Lita's Hall of Fame speech.
I'd rather watch one of Dwayne's movies.

Who cares?!
Eenie, meanie, miney, Naomi.
Up and coming talent beats crazy heel every time.

Losers- The WWE Universe.
Winner- Naomi.

Remember when people won the United States and Intercontinental Championships by feuding with someone?
Dean Ambrose lost his U.S. title in a Battle Royale, and now Bad News Barrett's vacated IC title will be awarded in the same way.
Yawn.
Rather than list all of the potential winners, I've narrowed it down to my favorites.
Cesaro, Dolph Ziggler, Big E Langston, Alberto Del Rio, Sheamus, The Miz, and Bo Dallas.
Let me just start by eliminating The Miz and Sheamus.
I don't think they want to unify the United States and IC titles yet, especially with the roster being so thin due to injuries, and I honestly believe that the Miz is en route to stealing the "Irish John Cena's" US title.
As talented as Del Rio is, his career never rebounded after losing the World Heavyweight Championship to Cena last November. He's gone from one of the WWE's very best heels to one of their very best jobbers, so you can scratch him off the list too.
I doubt they'd give to Bo Dallas, but I really wish that they would.
If they're planning to give the belt back to Wade Barrett... Could you imagine the promos?
Bad News vs Bo-lieve??? That would be amazing.
However, Bo is still only teasing the magnificent heel turn, and giving him a belt too soon might kill his character (See:Zack Ryder).
As much as I really, really wish they would give the belt to Ziggler, but he's got the "injury prone" label now.
Can I rant? How can Triple H sleep at night knowing that he prevents talented wrestlers from getting a push because they get hurt when only Lita's heart has been broken more than his knee? Ziggler has been over for months but his "concussion problem" has kept him in the midcard. Do disappointing.
So it comes down to Big E and Cesaro.
Big E held the title not that long ago, and Cesaro has been tumbling and stumbling since his MVP performance at Wrestlemania 30.

Or...
Bad News Barrett himself could take it.
He is scheduled to be there, and to present the IC title to the winner of the Battle Royale...
Who's to say that he doesn't deliver some... bad... news? I hope so.

Winner- Cesaro.

This should be a very interesting match.
Neither team is particularly gifted on the microphone, so it's just your average every-day good guy vs bad guy match.
As exciting as the Usos are to watch, I think it's time that they lost their titles.
They are a lot of fun, but you have to feel like the Wyatt boys can do more with the belts.
Not to mention...
Stardust and Goldust are waiting in the wings, and if they aren't going to feud soon, giving the gold back to the Rhodes brothers only makes sense.
I mean, the tag-team division was at it's best when they were champions.

Winners- Luke Harper and Erick Rowan.

Bathroom Break!
Just kidding.
With two of the best talents in the company going at it in the ring, we should be in for a competitive match!
I just wish we didn't have to endure such a boring storyline.
Paige's heel turn is so predictable, we all saw it coming the moment they shook hands on Smackdown a few weeks back.
After a few weeks of atrocious mic work by Paige, I don't think she's quite ready to be champion again.
I think the "best diva in the world" retains, and is brutally attacked by that screeching British thing.

Winner- AJ Lee.

Who would've thought that a few months after Wrestlemania, Jack Swagger and Zeb Coulter would be more over than Cesaro?
Hell, who would've thought that Swagger would be over at all?
But, in their feud with Rusev, Swagger and Coulter have found the perfect opponent.
The WWE universe is always looking for something to chant, and that chant just happens to be USA?... All the better.
I had wondered if the WWE would sweep this match under the rug after the tragic incident with the plane, but it doesn't seem as if they will.
Unfortunately, I think they're going to keep pushing the Bulgarian Brute.
I never thought I'd be sad to see Jack Swagger lose.
We, the people.

Winner- Rusev.

Chris Jericho is what's Best for Business.
Not because of his snarky promos, not because of his excellent in-ring ability, not even because of the crazy pop he got when he came back.
Chris Jericho is best for business because he will do what not even John Cena or Stone Cold were willing to do.
Chris Jericho will come back and lose.
Chris Jericho will come back and put younger superstars over.
Stone Cold quit the company when they asked him to put Brock Lesnar over. Looking at what Brock became... It makes Steve look pretty selfish.
And earlier this year, when John Cena faced off with Bray Wyatt, did he lose?
Did he take a knee and make the Eater of Worlds look big and strong?
Did he turn to hate and feed into the character of Bray Wyatt?
No. Hustle, Loyalty, and Respect came through when it mattered most.
Hustle, as in hustling the company for more main events.
Loyalty, as in loyalty to selling t-shirts and looking good for the kids.
And Respect.
As in, Respect for the paychecks that Vince McMahon puts in his food bowl after pay per views.
Remember how hot the Wyatts were during the Cena feud? Remember the crowd chanting and singing?
Remember how they cooled off after the Doctor of Thuganomics prevailed?
Rant over.
Fortunately, Y2J is back in the squared circle, and as he showed at Wrestlemania last year (regrettably with Fandango), Jericho has no problem with taking the L to make younger talent look better.
He may not be here to save himself, but Jericho is here to save all those who would follow the buzzards.

Winner- Bray Wyatt.

I can't express how excited I am for this match.
Two of the best and brightest young stars going at it!!
From Rollins' slimy heel turn to amazing microphone work by Ambrose, this is the match that the universe has been dying to see. And honestly? I don't even know who will win.
If they want to eliminate the threat of Rollins cashing in his briefcase after the main event, they'll have Ambrose win. I mean, honestly, if they don't, then Ambrose will be too beat up to stop Rollins from cashing in later, leaving either a surprise appearance by Lesnar or a spear from Reigns to save Cen- whoops. Spoilers!
My guess is that they'll have Rollins win in some nasty, underhanded way, despite Ambrose dominating for most of the match.
I doubt a win would be enough to satisfy Ambrose's fury, and his babyface character is so over, the universe will only get behind him more if he's screwed out of his revenge.

Winner- Seth Rollins.

Roman Reigns vs John Cena vs Kane vs Randy Orton.
Ah yes, a fatal fourway for the WWE World Heavyweight Championship! With those odds, we almost certainly have to see a new champion, yes?
I mean, with both Randy Orton and Kane in the match, surely the authority will come away with the win!!
Sigh... If only...
Unfortunately, Amazon spilled the beans earlier this month when they prematurely released the poster for Summer Slam featuring John Cena and the beast incarnate, the one in twenty-one and one, Broccccccck Lesnar.
It's hard to imagine that they'd bring Brock back for anything less than a shot at the WWE World Heavyweight Championship after shattering both the Undertaker's Wrestlemania streak, and the hearts of the WWE Universe. So it won't just be a feud with the leader of the Cenation.
Allow me to predict how the match will turn out.
The WWE is hoping to push Roman Reigns down the road, so expect him to steal the show. We'll see a "Superman Punch" or two, as well as a vicious spear, but all for not as somehow Triple H and the authority will screw him out of the title. IMO, it would be great if The Game himself screwed Reigns, so that they could build into a feud for Summer Slam.
The tension between Kane and Orton has been growing for a long time, and the sadly predictable face turn (if you can even call it that) of Kane will cost them and the Authority the match. Perhaps Orton will be pinning Kane, who will surprisingly kick out, shocking Randy (But nobody else). The two will bicker before Kane chokeslams Orton, and is almost immediately given an Attitude Adjustment by Cena, who will retain the belts much like he earned them, by barely participating and boring the crowd.

Winner- John Cena.

Though... I do wonder if the WWE won't try to make us smarks look stupid and switch it up.
I would say I hope so... but then again, who do you give it to?
Too early for Reigns.
Nobody wants to see Orton with the belts.
And the titles would lose some prestige with Kane.

Unless...
There's a plan B?
I mean...
There's always a plan B.