British Men In Dresses Arrested As Nuns

This story is almost half a year old and I apologize profusely for not having reported on it the moment it happened, but then again, that's what the BBC is for. In 2009, 17 male members of a British football team were arrested in a popular Greek resort for dressing as nuns and flashing passers by. Police reported: "They were dressed like nuns, carrying crosses, but wearing thongs under their skirts and showing people their bottoms and the rest.”

The men, who ranged in age from 65 to just 18 years of age, were taking part in an annual ritual that involved abusing alcohol, dressing up in costume, and acting like total yobs. Unfortunately, they decided to offend a church in a country that has actual laws against mocking religion. In Greece, offending religious symbols is a crime. I'm not sure if that applies to all religious symbols, or if that's just a sign that Christianity has a firm stranglehold on the birthplace of the classical gods, but I'll bet a cheap nun costume that it is the latter rather than the former. No-one respects Zeus now that his priests won't have you held down and your liver torn out by vultures.

The charges also included 'misrepresentation of a costume or uniform,) which means life must be fairly dull in Greece aside from all the Ouzo and flailing British tourists. If you can't misrepresent yourself in a costume, what can you do? No wonder the Romans won, they were always far more partial to shiny costumes with pointy bits.

The moral of the story? If you are going to wear a dress, be sure to do so with decorum, and keep your thong and 'the rest' covered at all times. There's no need to get drunk and act like a fool to satiate your desire to wear womens clothing, and if you do it with a modicum of grace and style, there's a chance you won't end up doing a walk of shame in an ill-fitting polyester habit in front of the international media.

If you do insist on wearing a habit, ensure that it is long enough to drape all the way to the ground, and wide enough to allow for your girth. A headress (or wimpole, as nuns like to call them,) is an excellent addition that perfects the look and may allow you to sneak past eagle eyed law enforcement officials on the look out for men misrepresenting themselves in costumes.

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Comments 2 comments

GoneNylon 6 years ago

Hope,

It's not just the ancient Greek Mythology those Greeks invented. They invented chritianity, too. "Christos," is, after all, a Greek word, and not Hebrew. Saul/Paul did some of his best religion-inventing in Greece. While we don't have any of his letters "to the Samarians," or "the Palestinians" or "the Nazarenes," his epistles to the Phillipians, Corinthians, Ephesians, etc. are all addressed to the Greek world. His greatest oration was said to have been on the Areopagitica in Athens.

The Greeks take their position as inventer of christianity purday danged serious. Just ask the old Hitler Youth Emeritus dude in Rome. Those Greeks won't even give him a passing nod, and haven't done so to any of his predecessors for more than a thousand years.

As such, having seen a few Greek nuns, I think the real crime was the fact that those lads looked better than your average Greek nun, which was, in turn, a violation of everything the Greeks have been trying to live down since Socrates rejected the advances of Alcibiades at an Athenian wine and goat cheese party in the WayBackWhen.


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Hope Alexander 6 years ago Author

Bonus points for interesting religion facts!

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