Captain Obvious's Guide To Men Who Wear Women's Clothing
This is a conversation caught between Captain Obvious and an Impartial, dim, illiterate Observer (TM).
IdiOt: LOL He is wearing a dress! LOL! In all my days I have never seen anything like it!
Captain Obvious: Some men wear women's clothing. They wear it because they like it, because it feels good and sometimes because it evokes pleasurable feelings of being feminine.
IdiOt: I didn't read that last sentence, but I want to know why men wear women's clothes sometimes. Are they mental?
Captain Obvious: Men wearing women's clothes may do so for stylistic effect, because they feel a deep seated need to or just because they feel like it.They may or may not be mental, the practice of wearing women's clothing has not been statistically correlated to madness of any kind.
Women never have to answer for wearing men's clothing, because women have uteruses, or uteri, and these organs embody them with strange and magnificent powers of hypocrisy untempered by logic. Women are also known to cry if you challenge their fashion decisions and nobody likes making a woman cry, even other women shy away from causing this type of personal meterological storm.
IdiOt: That's sexist!
Captain Obvious: But I'm a woman, so I can say that, because I know it's true. Don't challenge me, my tear dam could crack at any moment.
IdiOT: Men who wear womens clothing must be gay!
Captain Obvious: Actually, most men who wear womens clothing are straight. They are attracted to the femininity of the garments in much the same way they are attracted to the femininity of women. Gay and bi men do wear lingerie sometimes too, but they are a statistical anomaly.
IdiOT: LOL so gay!
Captain Obvious: Unlike 'real men' who play rugby until their testicles fall out?
IdiOT: Precisely!
Captain Obvious: Yes, because groping and fondling and pouncing and slapping the asses of other men is entirely straight behavior, whereas being attracted to the trappings of the opposite sex suggests same sex attraction!
IdiOT: I'm a Christian, the bible says men shouldn't wear women's clothing.
Captain Obvious: So why is Jesus wearing a dress in every picture you see of him then?
IdiOT: That's not a dress, that's a robe.
Captain Obvious: Looks like a dress to me.
IdiOT: Fashions change. It wasn't a dress then, so it was okay and not gay.
Captain Obvious: Oh, so fashions aren't absolutely male or female one way or another?
IdiOT: Yeah.
Captain Obvious: So if clothing isn't really men's or women's, what's the problem with a man wearing a skirt?
IdiOT: OMG Ha LOL That's so gay.
