Is Lingerie A Gateway Garment?

Many women whose husbands or boyfriends reveal that they like to wear lingerie have a deep fear, an unspoken fear, a fear that torments them whilst they watch romantic comedies and weep slightly as the oh so masculine heroes of stage and screen perform in suitably male attire (unless its one of those European heritage films, in which case its likely that the men are wearing more lace and make up than the women, but that's a topic for another day.)

The fear that these women have isn't that Jack is wearing a pair of bikini cut panties under his jeans, its that she will one day come home to find him prancing about in a cocktail dress and heels, demanding that she call him Jill and declare herself a lesbian.

Is the fear irrational? Not completely. I can reassure any female readers that the bulk of men who like to wear lingerie usually cap their predelicitions at one or two types of garment. They'll enjoy panties perhaps, or stockings, or maybe camisoles and pantyhose, or perhaps some other lingerie combination, but that is often where they will leave it.

Some men don't stop at the panties however, they go from panties to stockings to heels to handbags to dresses, and before you know what's happening there are two ladies in your relationship. Of course, even if that does happen, it doesn't necessarily mean that he will want to become a woman full time, that is a relatively rare occurrence (no matter what Jerry Springer might tell you).

The desire to wear women's clothes and live as a woman might perhaps stem from a similar place as the desire to wear a pair of panties, but they are not the same thing. It's much the same way as the desire to have a few drinks on Saturday night doesn't necessarily equate to the desire to spend three years wasted out of your mind before eventually driving through your sister's deck on her wedding day and becoming the subject of a hilarious rehab themed romantic comedy.

99% of the population have no desire to take the hobbies or pastimes they find enjoyable and live them as a full time lifestyle, so when a man says he wants to wear some panties, that's more than likely what he means - he wants to wear some panties. If you suspect it goes deeper than that (your eyeshadow keeps going missing, and your dresses are starting to look a little stretched around the shoulders), then it is definitely time to talk more and decide if that is a relationship you want to be in.

I think most men who want to live as cross dressers or live as women know that from a relatively early age, it's pretty rare that the strong and unstoppable desire comes on in middle age. That means that the man you married, or the man you are with already knows what it is he really wants. Open and honest communication is the only way to truly know what he is up to, but you need not fear that lingerie will slowly draw him further and further into a world of womenswear, and studies indicate that recreational lingerie use is perfectly safe.