Tattoos, Body Piercing and other modifications

To many, she is beautiful.
To many, she is beautiful. | Source
I say, she's gorgeous.
I say, she's gorgeous. | Source

What do you expect?

 

If one more person says “If she’s going to look like that she has to get used to the fact that some people are going to be mean.”  No, no she doesn’t.  No one has the right to make mean or snide comments to someone else based on how they look.  We don’t accept that type of behavior when it’s directed toward someone who is fat, or has a disability, or is different race. So, why is it ok to treat someone like that because they have pink hair, or a tattoo or a facial piercings? It’s ok to be mean to them because they choose to look that way?  I say, nay.

Pretty Pink and Smart

Is that your natural color?

Every single one of us does something to modify our physical appearance so that we can feel good about ourselves. Some people dye the gray in their hair. Some people exercise religiously to beat their bodies into the perfect physical form. Some people straighten their curly hair, and some people curl their straight hair. Men grow mustaches and beards, or shave them off. To each his or her own.

To my daughter, beauty consists of tattoos, piercings and multi-colored hair. She finds the tatted, the pierced and the Mohawk wearing public beautiful. She has dyed her platinum blonde hair, red, purple, pink, blue, blue and pink, blue and black, blue, black and pink, and blue, black and purple. She has had it long, short, in a Mohawk and most recently completely shaved except for her bangs. She’s changed her hairstyle and color so much; we don’t know what she looks like. One thing that has always remained is that she is still beautiful. She has her lip pierced in three places, both nostrils and her septum, and her earlobes are stretched.

Ain't she cute?
Ain't she cute? | Source

So many colors, so little hair


Her first foray into hair dying was to dye the under layer jet black. It looked great. She enrolled in a modeling class that summer. With her classic Nordic features, long legs and bubbly personality, she made friends with everyone. At the end of the class they had a runway show and all the parents were invited. Afterwards, as I walked down the corridor I heard a mother talking to her daughter in a negative way about my daughter. The girl, who was younger than Freya, warmed my heart. She stood up to her mom and said, “No, Mom! Everyone loves Bubbles. She’s so sweet and fun. She’s great.”


In middle school she was in the orchestra. It was spring concert night and I was sitting in the hard uncomfortable bleachers waiting for the show to start. Behind me I hear, “Look at that girl with the pink hair. Oh. My. God.” Pause . “Well, I guess if that’s all she does, it’s ok.”

I turned around and as calmly as possible said, “It’s not really any of your business what she does and does not do. Next time you decide to talk about someone’s child, stop and think, because her mother might be sitting right in front of you.”

They really do!
They really do! | Source

Mean People Suck.

 

When she started her first job, she worked in a Water park snack bar. By then she had a couple of tattoos and facial piercings.  The kids were all nice to her. The adults were another story. Not the adults who worked with her, or supervised her. No, the customers.  Here we have a young high school girl working in a hot kitchen in the hottest summer on record, and she still manages to smile and give good customer service. And what does she get in return? How about comments like, “You look ugly with all that crap in your face.”  Really? Does it make grown people feel good to make a teenage girl go home crying everyday and eventually quit her job? Oh, yeah, that’s right. She has to expect and accept that because she chose to look that way.  Right.

 

It maybe cliché, but it’s true. One, don’t judge a book by its cover and two, if you don’t have anything nice to say don’t say anything at all.  Everyone in this country has the right to creative expression.  We also have the right to freedom of speech; however, you right ends where it starts to impede the rights of others.  Just because you think something, feel something or have an opinion about something doesn’t mean you necessarily need to voice it.  Especially, if it’s going to hurt someone else.

Me and my darling. She went with me to get my first tattoo. My Sew or Die  Tattoo.
Me and my darling. She went with me to get my first tattoo. My Sew or Die Tattoo. | Source

Oh, no, she didn't!


Isn’t it hard enough to raise a daughter in today’s world? Mothers, and fathers, too, of daughters everywhere don’t need so-called adults putting their daughters down because they have a different idea of pretty. Because the place they found that they feel they belong and are accepted is “among the freaks.” Honestly, I’d rather deal with piercing, tattoos and weird hair colors and styles, than drug abuse, teen pregnancy, gang activity or eating disorders. Heck, I prefer the freakish outsider to the mean girl. I just want to raise a daughter who has self-esteem and who isn’t afraid to follow the beat of her own drummer. Heck, I am glad her whole band is weird. I don’t think I could relate to a “normal,” daughter.


Next time the girl with the tattoos and the bluest eyes you have ever seen, smiles at your 3-year-old daughter, don’t jerk your daughter back like you just passed a monster. Smile back. You’ll be glad you did.

P!nk -Raise Your Glass

Comments 19 comments

DIYweddingplanner profile image

DIYweddingplanner 5 years ago from South Carolina, USA

Awww...I love me some Freya Darling, great hub mom-ster.


Tess45 profile image

Tess45 5 years ago from South Carolina Author

Thank you. I do love the Darling Bones Cupcake quite a bit.


Dawn Davis 5 years ago

Oh yes. Been there. My Kelly gets looks, remarks, etc because she has her own sense of style. Fortunately she is strong and will tell others to just buzz off. Everyone deserved to be true to themselves.


Tess45 profile image

Tess45 5 years ago from South Carolina Author

The Cupcake is strong too, but sometimes, you just get so tired of it. Especially when it is so blatantly mean. Telling her she's Ugly?! Really?


JLClose profile image

JLClose 5 years ago from OreGONE

Great hub! I'm glad you had a response for those rude people behind you at the concert.


Tess45 profile image

Tess45 5 years ago from South Carolina Author

JL Close - Thank you very much. I have my moments.


DzyMsLizzy profile image

DzyMsLizzy 5 years ago from Oakley, CA

Good job! You are correct. Body mods are not my personal sense of style, but it is uncalled for to make rude comments. My parents raised me with the adage, "If you can't say something nice, say nothing at all." I fully believe that. You can THINK what you will--but censor your tongue!

Everyone is responsible for their own happiness and we are all different. I've known several people (still do) with tats and piercings. It makes me marginally uncomfortable if they are placed so you cannot look at the person without seeing them..but more from an "oh, OUCH!" mental space, and not from 'freaking out' or fear. (I hate even needles, and am a big baby--I nearly fainted when I first had my ears pierced, at age 30)

They are people, just like you and I, and not monsters.

Your daughter is very lucky to have such an understanding mom. I knew one gal who had a few facial piercings, and when she was going to get a formal portrait done, her father asked, "So, are you going to take the metal out of your face so you look human?" That was unnecessarily hurtful.

You don't even have to have body mods to find mean people. A gal I knew once who was as Irish as they come--from her name to her looks--was riding a bus, and overheard some women speaking Spanish making fun of her nose. Unbeknownst to them, this gal spoke fluent Spanish. As she was exiting the bus, she turned to them and said in perfect Spanish, "I understood what you said, and I don't think much of your nose, either."

Very much along the lines of your story of sitting in the bleachers--be careful what you say, and where, for you never know who may be listening.


Tess45 profile image

Tess45 5 years ago from South Carolina Author

DsyMsLizzy,

I totally agree. We seem to live in a culture of hate.


cpvaughn1983 5 years ago

What in the world is a normal daughter? I think my mom would laugh at that one!!! So Raise your glass girl! I am there with you!


Tess45 profile image

Tess45 5 years ago from South Carolina Author

Yes, because we are all dirty little freaks.


crystolite profile image

crystolite 5 years ago from Houston TX

Nice hub.thanks


Tess45 profile image

Tess45 5 years ago from South Carolina Author

No, thank you Crystolite.


rrebeccaa profile image

rrebeccaa 5 years ago

you sound like the best mom ever.


Tess45 profile image

Tess45 5 years ago from South Carolina Author

rrebeccaa,

I am sure there are day the Cupcake would agree with you and days that she wouldn't. Thank you.


(:  5 years ago

wow! thats awesome! my mom is the same, I'm 13 and have three piercings in my ears and i still get weird looks! i heard a mom tell her daughter to stay away from me because having more than one piercing is trashy.

my mom yelled at her and said that the only trashy thing is slamming other people's personal choices.

i love parents like that (:


Tess45 profile image

Tess45 5 years ago from South Carolina Author

That's great! I am glad you appreciate your mom.


cpvaughn1983 5 years ago

I am spreading the love... just shared this article with a friend... who have people assuming her piercings relate to sex


Tess45 profile image

Tess45 5 years ago from South Carolina Author

cpvaughn, at the risk of sounding like the thing I hate most, mean, judgemental and negative people, but seriously, how stupid is that?! Thanks for spreading the love.


Courtney 5 years ago

No Prob I spread the word

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