Why I Don't Wear Girly Things
One of my readers recently wrote an awesome article about what he called 'deny-vestites', (if you want to read it, you can do so here) women who don't wear feminine clothing, who instead prefer simple clothing of a more androgynous kind and who don't bother too much about make up. He was surprised when I replied back and said that I thought his article was brilliant and that I myself could probably identify as a 'deny-vestite.' His response was one of surprise. How could I write about women's clothing and lingerie so much if I didn't wear a great deal of uber feminine things?
Well, therein lies the rub, the double standard, and indeed, a lot of the problems that men create when they approach women.
I love lingerie, but even if I didn't, I could still probably muster up the braincells to write about it in a positive light. Empathy is a wonderful thing. I'm not a man who wears women's clothing either, but most people have no problem with me writing on that subject. Why then, should I have to be obsessed with girly things myself to write about them?
I don't wear a lot of girly things because A) they're a total pain in the ass (seriously, it could take hours to get ready if you bothered with all that sort of thing,) and because B) I think its akin to a lie.
You often see men complaining about how women look nothing like they did when they were dating. Guy meets hot girl, takes her home, then realizes that after she's wiped off the caked on make up, removed her push up bra, taken off her heels and slipped out of her control top underwear she's actually just another average Jane. He then whines that he's been 'lied' to. Well, in a way he has, but it is a lie he actively pursued.
I wear jeans, t-shirts and that sort of thing a lot. I rarely wear make up. That doesn't mean I don't know how to put on make up or how to find my way into a dress, it just means that I don't chose to devote thousands of hours of my life trying desperately to make people think I am attractive. I'd rather be comfortable in flats than teetering around in heels.
My honest (though probably somewhat bitchy) opinion when I see women who have thrown on every feminine accoutrement they can find is that they're trying too hard. I don't have to slather my face in oils and paints to be an attractive woman. I don't have to flaunt my legs and my cleavage to be good looking, and I don't think any woman does.
If you're the type of man who likes 'feminine' women, be aware that it will always be a lie. If she has to spend an hour getting ready, what you see is not what you get. If you can live with that, more power to you. They say that men who wear make up and women's clothing are trying to be something that they're not, well I think that women who wear make up and 'womens clothing' are doing exactly the same thing.
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