Internet Trolls how to feed them properly

Internet Trolls? Fun?

I must say once you get past the personal-ness of it all, having an Internet troll can be quite entertaining!! At first there was a little fear, I mean think of it! He/she knows your name; he/she knows your haunts, follows you around, in general making your life miserable. He/she may even think they know some details of your life and unless you give the affirmative, it is just a guess.

If you’re all alone in this yes, it can be quite disturbing. If you share your troll with others and have a decent sense of humor that is where the fun begins! It is guaranteed that you are not the only one the troll will bug at one time. So find your co-conspirator/s and let’s have some fun!!


What is a Troll?

First let me explain what a ‘troll’ is. I’m sure that you have read childhood stories of trolls that hide under bridges, waiting for you to cross only to jump out at you and scare the bejeezus out of you. That is what trolls do! They wait in hiding -in the dark, usually are nasty and dirty from hanging out waiting to pounce. Mischief seems to be their middle name, getting into it and creating it whenever possible.

Trolls have no real sense of purpose but love to cause those who do, to stifle theirs. If you are a creative person a Troll will do their darnedest to halt your creative process. Say for instance you are a painter (just an example) you happen to have a web page dedicated to your paintings, the trolls may come on to your page and make nasty comments. Since you are the creator you think nothing of it and delete those comments. Those comments may just sit in the back of your mind for a while, sort of disturb you, you may even try to change your painting style thinking that ‘they may have something there’. You try to brush it off. Then you may notice comments somewhere else about your paintings, possibly emails. The troll knows some of the laws and if you write them back telling you to stop contacting you, they must. Via emails that is. This cannot or will not stop them from writing about you, keep in mind the Internet is a visual medium with the written word and they may see themselves as writers. They may even claim they are trying to educate the world about you!

As time wears on their comments may begin to get to you. You might even go so far as to ‘report’ them to the proper authorities. You will be told that freedom of speech is the 1st amendment right of everyone. You may whine and stomp your feet but still nothing will be done. You are stuck with your troll. As long as no threats on your life have happened they are just a troll. You may have a civil lawsuit on your hands that is if you feel like seeking an Attorney and they are making slanderous comments about you.

You may have begun to reach a point that you begin to feel helpless. Your troll has gone to great lengths to make you feel this way you must not give him/her the satisfaction.

You may have seen the phrase “DON’T FEED THE TROLLS” around the internet with really cool pictures. What that means is don’t talk to them, don’t give them any information that they can use against you. This is fairly decent advice. Some trolls will just go away if you don’t feed them. Then there are King’s within the troll kingdom, those who refuse to be ignored. These are the ones who teach trolling, the ones who give all trolls the really bad names. What happens if you should come upon one of these? The Kings, who if you don’t feed them will create their own food, from the muck in which they stand.


What Trolls are to me

My theory is that Trolls are the mushroom growers of the world, everyone remember where mushrooms grow? In the dark and deep in dung. Now that we have established that trolls are dirty little ‘stinkers’ and you have visualized this; Big, ugly unwashed and unkempt and covered in poo – we can move on to the fun.


Shake it off!

First take a shower and change into clean clothes so you can feel better about yourself, or in other words, ‘shake it off’. Let the worry roll off your back, relax your shoulders and take a deep breath. Remember the Internet troll and Stalker is just some idiot sitting behind a computer screen with no real friends and no real life to speak of. So put your thinking caps on and come with me!

You must step away from the computer for a little while in order to clear your head. Give it a few days, while giving you time to think. You are going to need something real good and surfing the Internet is not going to cut it. Use what you know! If you’re a painter, begin painting again. Dedicate this to your troll – you never know it could be one of your best works!


Do your Research! But be careful!

If you are like me, a writer, then you must use your words. Create a blog that your troll MUST be made aware of. Dedicate it to him/her. Enlist in the help of your friends. Feed your troll and feed him/her well. Feed him only the things you want him to eat. Trolls like juicy stuff, so feed him/her something bitter. Feed your troll the opposite of everything you have before. Do a little research yourself. Find out who your troll is, then write about him/her.

Most internet trolls are those who hang out all day on the internet, so most likely they have an online business somewhere. Find it. Because they are bad people they most likely have bad reviews of their business, find them. Since they spend so much time on the internet they will have certain measure in place. If they have a website of their own they will more than likely have IP trackers in place. They use these to determine who is coming to visit them. Going on their website to comment is a no-no, unless of course you get yourself one of those nifty little IP scramblers. Then make sure you use it all the time, every time.

Boost your own ego!

Once you find out who they are, what their business is etc. you can begin to write about them. You may even write about yourself, changing things up a bit to confuse their tiny little brains. You must make it obnoxious and outrageous, something out of the ordinary for your normal writing. Now is the time to lie and lie big! I can’t tell you the lies you must use, you have to create them yourself.

Have your friends come on to your blog and make bigger lies, better lies. Boost yourself up! Make things look fantastic. This will confuse your troll and they won’t know which way to turn. They may believe they have helped your business and walk away.

Going above and beyond

You may have to hire a person or two such as a Therapist or Private Investigator to help you. The Therapist will help you determine if your troll is dangerous to you. In your investigations you may discover that your troll doesn’t drive. This does not mean he/she isn’t’ dangerous it just means unless they have a driver they cannot drive to where you live so the worries about them dropping in are greatly diminished. It also tells you a little more about your troll. They are for the most part stuck in their home (or in this case under their bridge) and for fun and just messing with people, finding entertainment in the fear of others.

Finding out as much as you can also tell you the mindset of your troll; you are normal, they are not. They are more on the side of crazy/psycho than those who are normal. They will have built themselves up in their mind and may believe some of the things that they have said about themselves.


Check out this article, more about to feed or not to feed the trolls by JenJen0703

Entertainment at it's finest!

Just remember they are trolls, they are there to keep you in confusion, create fear and in general be a pest. Once you realize this and know that they can do no ‘real’ damage to you. You know who you are and what you are about; know that once they leave you alone they will go on to the next unwary person. Once they realize they are no longer bothering you and the fear has been replaced with humor they will move on. Their ploy will have failed.

If you discover that your troll is fairly harmless; play with your troll, have fun, tease him/her, poke at them with the same stick they are poking you with. It will help with your frame of mind, put you at ease and in general make your life fun again! As long as you don’t let their words get to you the fun you can have with your troll can be immeasurable! Entertainment right at your fingertips, no need to go to the movies or read fiction, you have it right at your very hands.


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Comments 28 comments

T. R. Brown profile image

T. R. Brown 4 years ago from Nashville, TN

Great Hub. I realy enjoyed it. Voted up.


Sweetsusieg profile image

Sweetsusieg 4 years ago from Michigan Author

Thanks!!


MrAungst profile image

MrAungst 4 years ago from Penna

I enjoyed it. They can be entertaining if you handle it correctly. Upvote! :)


Sweetsusieg profile image

Sweetsusieg 4 years ago from Michigan Author

Absolutely!! I've found they can give you quite a giggle if you look at it from a different point of view.


JenJen0703 profile image

JenJen0703 4 years ago from Cereal City U.S.A.

As always, great hub Susie!! You have a terrific sense of humor. So, how long do you think this one will take?? lol


Sweetsusieg profile image

Sweetsusieg 4 years ago from Michigan Author

Thanks Jen - It's such great fun isn't it? Love to keep them trolls on their toes. Or in this case - under the bridge!


kschang profile image

kschang 4 years ago from San Francisco, CA, USA

I recommend the mushroom treatment, and remember programmer's adage: GIGO.


Sweetsusieg profile image

Sweetsusieg 4 years ago from Michigan Author

LOL - Personally I liked that analogy! One certainly needs to remember GIGO in dealing with trolls! You also have to take care that you don't become one. Keep the humor and you will survive!!


fpherj48 profile image

fpherj48 4 years ago from Beautiful Upstate New York

Sweetsusieg....Hi there...So, I'm thinking that a "troll" is pretty much like a "stalker," but worse in many ways....Hmmmmm. Interesting hub on how to deal with/handle them.

All of your suggestions remind me pretty much of how to deal with idiots and morons, or people with such sad and empty lives, they thrive on anger, hatred & ignorance. What I recall of the "trolls" in fairy tales is that they are not only dirty, smelly and nasty.....they're also extremely ugly....huge noses with warts, teeth missing & hair in places it shouldn't be. I think this is why they try to remain anonymous and mostly "hide out" in mud and poop piles. They know that the sight of them, makes people want to puke.

Must say, I never had to deal with a "troll," but I did take care of a stalker, once. and I mean TOOK CARE OF HIM. It was very sad and ugly for the stalker....who now lives in a 4x6 cold and damp cement cell with no window & just a thin matt to sleep on.....disgusting food, no humans to talk to and no form of freedom or entertainment.

We really hope all of this was worth the cheap thrills he got by stalking. But, I doubt it.

Great hub, Susie.....maybe some one someday will beat all that poop off your troll. Then he'll be nothing without his poop.


Sunshine625 profile image

Sunshine625 4 years ago from Orlando, FL

This hub is very useful. I recently found out I had a troll. The funniest part of my story is that this supposed troll is accusing me of being "it's" troll. I found out that "it" was calling me a troll for a while on many social networks sites and I wasn't even aware until someone pointed it out to me. Cowards who need a life. Kicked to the curb. Awesome hub that many will benefit from and thank you for creating it!:)


Sweetsusieg profile image

Sweetsusieg 4 years ago from Michigan Author

@ fpherj48 - I would pay to see my stalker behind bars!! Then I would take pictures and put them in a scrapbook dedicated to stalkers. Yes, I have looked up the laws regarding this and yes, I can say for certain that he is breaking some of the laws. Getting the Prosecution to take up this case, now that's another matter entirely!

I think my troll/stalker is just some ugly guy who not only can't get a date but wears depends and hollers up from the basement for him mom to bring him more meatloaf.

Cheers to you and your getting rid of your stalker!! WAY TO GO!!


Sweetsusieg profile image

Sweetsusieg 4 years ago from Michigan Author

@ Sunshine625 - Yes, trolls do try to do that don't they? Try to turn the tables on you. I did my best to ignore mine but when he posted a fabricated criminal history about me, I was notified. I'm still a bit amused about this history and the fact that he stands behind his 'discovery'. I know the truth and I guess that is all that matters.

One day this will all be done and I might get to witness when Karma goes on to bite him in the butt. If not, eh, well my life will go on anyway.


Sunshine625 profile image

Sunshine625 4 years ago from Orlando, FL

I love Karma. It's never let me down yet!

I like your response to fpherj "I think my troll/stalker is just some ugly guy who not only can't get a date but wears depends and hollers up from the basement for him mom to bring him more meatloaf." Hahaha!!


Sweetsusieg profile image

Sweetsusieg 4 years ago from Michigan Author

LOL - Thanks! Yeah, I've visualized many things about him but that one sticks in my mind more than anyone of them.


eolikes profile image

eolikes 4 years ago from Bangladesh

nice hub.. I enjoyed it


Sweetsusieg profile image

Sweetsusieg 4 years ago from Michigan Author

Thanks!!


Cyndi10 profile image

Cyndi10 4 years ago from Georgia

Hello Susie,

Great hub. It must have been very cathartic for you to write about the nasty little beast. You're so right, generally people like your troll don't have lives and no real friends and they don't have friends because they are so "nasty."


Sweetsusieg profile image

Sweetsusieg 4 years ago from Michigan Author

Yes, actually it was! I have written about him on another site a while back, this has been going on for more than 6 months now. Apparently he is fascinated by my writings!! He has posted a few of them on his website questioning what it is that I have to say. Most of what I write about is good common sense, it is my guess that he never got any. When they were handing out 'brains' he thought they said 'trains' and he missed his.

What I find truly amusing is he has created several 'names' and posts under them giving the impression that he has friends, either that or his multiple personality disorder is kicking in!!! I suppose I should call him Sybil.


JenJen0703 profile image

JenJen0703 4 years ago from Cereal City U.S.A.

I bet he threw his mama from that train, too!!


Sweetsusieg profile image

Sweetsusieg 4 years ago from Michigan Author

LOL - That is if he hasn't cooked her and ate her first... Maybe the secret to his Mama's meatloaf is 'Mama' herself...


JenJen0703 profile image

JenJen0703 4 years ago from Cereal City U.S.A.

Lol...too funny. He's definitely a meat eater...


Sweetsusieg profile image

Sweetsusieg 4 years ago from Michigan Author

I'm not even touching that one!!


Chris Marsh 4 years ago

Can I be a troll even if I use my real name? I mean, it takes courage to use your real name to state your position.


drbj profile image

drbj 4 years ago from south Florida

Hi, susie, Just wanted you to know that I interviewed Karma and she (yes, she's a she) promised to find this ugly, imbecile of a troll and give him what he deserves - in spades. It will not be pretty.


Sweetsusieg profile image

Sweetsusieg 4 years ago from Michigan Author

@ Chris Marsh - Honestly I would say that most if not all Trolls DO NOT use their real names. They take a lot of time in hiding and disguising who they are. They use IP scramblers, make numerous fake names etc. I don't think a troll can be considered a person who just wants to state a position. They do everything humanly possible to make the lives miserable of those they have chosen.


Sweetsusieg profile image

Sweetsusieg 4 years ago from Michigan Author

Oooo, Karma!! Well I certainly WILL have to visit you and take a peek at what she has to say! Knowing your interviewing techniques I can bet you got her to give some lovely tid-bits of what it is that she does~~

I can't wait to see it!!

Thanks for dropping by!


Aleenabroonee profile image

Aleenabroonee 4 years ago from California

Your hub provides me a very great information. Its really very helpful to me to find result on search engine. Hope to hear more good information related to searching from your side.


Sweetsusieg profile image

Sweetsusieg 4 years ago from Michigan Author

Thanks!! I will certainly try to keep you updated!

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