Who took my rubbish bin?

From: David Wilson
Sent: 24 September 2010 13:37
To: All
Subject: Under desk Bins

Dear all

As part of commitment to reducing our environmental impact, one of our offices was initially selected as the trial site for the deployment of local waste management / recycling stations. This trial has been extremely successful and as such it is now proposed to roll out this initiative to all our offices nationally. From Thursday 30th September 2010 all under desk waste bins will be removed from the building and replaced with strategically placed recycling stations throughout the floors.The recycling stations will consist of three individual colour coded swing lid bins.

Yellow - Cans,      Blue - Plastic,        Black – General waste

The existing recycling stations located in breakout areas / kitchens will be revamped with colour coded swing lids consistent with the new bins. This is a positive move driven by the Business Improvement Group and is entirely consistent with the firms’ commitment to social responsibility. Your support in this matter is very much appreciated. As always, your opinion is important to us and we would encourage you to provide feedback on this change.


David Wilson

Head of Facilities


From: Ned Dipa

Sent: 29 September 2010 13:54
To: David Wilson
Subject: Re: Under desk Bins

It is so refreshing to see a measure of such incredible impact, not the usual ineffective change merely designed to gain this company a recycling accreditation. I applaud you. Also, could you change general waste to blue and plastic to black? I ask because most of my general waste is blue.

From: David Wilson
Sent: 29 September 2010 16:54
To: Ned Dipa
Subject: Re Re: Under desk Bins

Dear Ned

Thank you for the feedback. Recycling stations have now been distributed throughout all floors. This is just a reminder that all under desk bins will be removed tonight. I think you have a point concerning the colours and will take it under consideration. Once again, your feedback is important to us, please let us know your thoughts.


Head of Facilities

From: Ned Dipa
Sent: 30 September 2010 10:22
To: David Wilson
Subject: Re Re Re: Under desk Bins

Dear David,

I would firstly like to thank you for considering the colour schemes, and congratulate you further on the major step you have taken in ending the destruction of our planet by taking away my bin. As I sit in my air conditioned office, in a country which is clearly already too globally warmed for the cooling measure an open windows brings, I would like to thank you from the bottom of my heart. You have indeed inspired me to look at my life and the footprint that I leave on the environment.

So much so, that yesterday I made a point of recycling a small plastic bag. I got into my Land Rover, which I find particularly useful for city driving, and raced down to my local recycling centre. Having emptied the bag of various half-empty deodorant cans at a local river, I pulled up to the colourful plastic bin and recycled. It felt good. Knowing that after various transport costs and energy consuming processes, that plastic bag will one day be used by a small Indonesian boy in the making of a miniature figure of Manchester United’s Wayne Rooney left me with a real sense of self-righteousness. A feeling that I imagine you know well, after each one of your important and in no way gimmicky ideas undoubtedly fuelled by drinking copious amounts of fair-trade coffee.

I plan to stick to the major world saving measures you have opened my eyes to, at work and in my personal life. In fact, as a show of commitment, tonight I will make love to my girlfriend using a condom made from sheep’s intestines, cleverly combating her inevitable question about the strange smell by replying, “I had Rogan Josh for lunch”. As you know, that will be a lie, as the canteen does not serve anything but premade plastic vacuum packed sandwiches. I think we can both agree that lying to my girlfriend is acceptable and warranted in this case, particularly as she has a rare and quite severe allergy to lamb. The chances are that she will have a small reaction producing eczema or hives on her face, or in the worst case a spot of anaphylactic shock. I am sure the antihistamines will do the trick again, if I remember to get some after work.

So, on behalf of me and my hypothetical children’s children, who will certainly appreciate a clean environment, having probably survived the struggles of World War III, giant asteroid impact, world hunger, alien attack and unstoppable Chlamydia out-brake, keep up the good work.

Indeed, I will sleep well knowing you won’t rest until everyone is forced to give up all of the life’s pleasures, such as having a bin.



From: David Wilson
Sent: 30 September 2010 10:48
To: Ned Dipa
Subject: Re Re Re Re: Under desk Bins

Dear Ned,

Thank you for your feedback. I am glad I was able to inspire you to think about the environment and am pleased about your positive intentions. If I can inspire more individuals to change their attitudes like you then we can certainly make a difference.


David Wilson

Head of Facilities

My Bin
My Bin

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