Hal Licino Makes a Cameo on Deadliest Catch

While 'composing' a hub, an experienced hubber tends to fret over the Hub Title: many good titles are already in use. This hub caused no such worries.

I don't know. He may live across the street. He may be be the guy who gets off Air Force 2 immediately before Michelle Obama when they land in a popular part of the world for a month-long vacation. He may be working on the International Space Station.

Perhaps he's a bot. Perhaps he is virtually embodied through millions of lines of C++ programming executing on quad core Xeon 7500s as part of a massively parallel Beowulf cluster in Stanford, California. Maybe he runs on a Sinclair zx80 connected to a Radio Shack Cassette Player.

We know the following:

• Nothing

Since Hal Licino exists only as a (very lengthy) series of HubPages articles, we don't know anything. These articles could be a concerted effort by a cabal of Nigerian spammers to build an Internet persona for the purpose of selling motorcycle parts.

This is a good thing, not knowing anything. We embrace our knowledge-less condition and we happily extrapolate from nothing. We cannot be accused of getting it wrong.

Given that we know virtually nothing, we can safely start with the preceding photographs. One is accurate and one is obviously doctored. Having never been aboard a working vessel on high seas, our only alternative is to fall back on TV viewing experiences in our efforts to reconcile what we see here.

It's obviously a scene from Discovery Channel's Deadliest Catch. Unfortunate horse has been charged with shepherding ships' cat. Neither equine nor feline provide logistical support for harvesting riches from icy waters; they have no thumbs. Adding insult to injury, the horse has been obligated to wear gloves with thumbs. Perhaps the on-board PETA representative was occupied with baiting pots or sledge-hammering ice from the foc'sle or stomping overflow crabs into overfilled storage tanks.

These images make us feel sorry for Hal. Cats in hats deserve better. Being cradled by a horse cannot possibly qualify him for a full share of the profits. Risking ones life in the freezing Bering Sea simply to become an epic photograph hardly qualifies as a "How I Spent My Summer" essay, even in a public school.