I have been told all of my life that I should be a writer or and advise columnist, because of my ability to listen and solve most problems. Many of my own friends and family ask me for advice or they just need a listening ear. I have been through so much in my own life that no one should ever have to go through. And here is my story and maybe some day someone else can be helped by it. So first things first.
I came from a broken home where and was not told a lot that I was loved I was taken for granted on many occasions, tease very badly in school, and taken advantage of but men in my mothers life. This caused me to have a hard time getting close to many people and also made it trust them as well. I also have had a hard time excepting complements from anyone. Because I was always told I was not good enough to do things and that I would never amount to anything or be anything in life. Well I have, I am now an accomplished writer of poems and children’s books. I over came Domestic Violence and Cancer.
Now I am here trying to help others work their way through their own trials and tribulations in their lives. If you have something you need advice about just write me and I will see what I can do to help. Also remember these next words and live by them and the world will be a better place they are what help me through a lot of things in life.
Be gentle to the weak. Be courageous to the strong. Be terrible to the wicked and evildoer. Defend the helpless who should call upon you for aid. Women should be held sacred to you. Defend one another whenever such defense should be required. Be merciful to all people and creatures. Be gentle in deed, true in friendship and faithful in love. Be honorable to others as well as yourself. Be truthful to one another. Be not afraid to admit when you are in the wrong. Be the best you can be at your duties.
I am a Proud Survivor of Domestic Violence. This is one thing that many of even my friends do not know about me. This takes a lot of courage on my part to tell my story. I have had to change my Identity because of my Abuser.
I have a wonderful life now but there was a horrible and heavy price I paid because of Domestic Violence I lost everything including the four most important things were taken from me because I was unable to hold a job because of the (PSTD) Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. I was left with after saving my 4 children and myself from a Domestic Violence Relationship. Therefore the Texas Children's Protective Services was able to take my four babies away because I could not pay the child support ordered by the courts and my fear of and the threats from their father I was unable to remain in Texas and had trouble getting back and forth to see them. Because I did not feel safe enough because every time I would go and see my children CPS would plan the parent’s visits back to back so I would have to see my abuser. With the threats of him saying he would finish what he started if I tried to get the children and that I would never see my children again. He also said that if I did get them back he would fine me where ever I would go that there was no escaping him and he would finish what he set out to do because I took the actions I did to save my babies from a life of Domestic Violence. He had Children’s Protective Services believing I was the bad one. But who is behind the prison walls for Assault with Deadly Intent (originally Attempted Premeditated Murder), he is. I struggled even came back to Texas feeling I was strong enough to fight him. But all I did was fail I promised my babies I would get them out alive and back home with me and I failed because I had no help. I had no job, and no car to get to the visits. I lived in a small town and there were no jobs close that I could get to. During my struggle to look and show stability I was honest and told CPS where I was living and that I was trying to get a job that I walked all over town to find a job and no one was hiring. But they refused to help they could have at least helped me get to the visits. It wasn’t until after the courts involuntarily took my prenatal rights that the case worker said well all you had to do is ask and we could have come and got you. But yet they wanted me to show that I could do everything by my self. So asking them for help would prove I could not do it by myself. Luckily all four of my babies were kept together and in a good Christian home. I felt better about the whole thing after their father took the bait that the courts gave him to sign his rights away so that he could see is children one last time and receive pictures and write letters at the new parents discretion, thus meaning he would not really get this it was just a ploy to get him to sign his rights away and he took it. I fought to the end for my children never signing my rights away I was told that because I did that I would not get the same privileges that their father got. I was ok with it because I knew he could never hurt us again because he had no chance to get them back now and I did. But I just did not have the money to fight. But the fact that they were all together and safe was fine with me because I knew he would stop at nothing to harm us and I could not be in four places at one time.
God had a plan for us I just could not see it yet. But now today I do because I was contacted by my daughter who is the oldest of the four recently and she says I am not to blame for this that just like them I was a victim and no one saw this but us. That she still wants to come home and so does her brothers. My daughter had the chance to be given back to me when she was 12 years old but she changed her mind because she did not want to split the family up because she knew she was the key to me finding them because she was the oldest. They only asked, “Mom, why did you not come and say good-bye that day? “my response was “Because I did not sign me rights away to you and I fought them for you I was told I could not see you.” “I was ok with it because I knew you were all going to be safe from harm and your father.” “I did has I promised I got us out alive and you have a good home.”
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