62I am a writer. It's not something I chose, it's not something I ever thought or dreamed of becoming as a child, but it is what I have found myself to be. I wake in the morning, and I think of when I will get a chance to write that day; I sleep at night and I consider what I might write about the following day, or I wake in the middle of the night and simply have to write that thing in my head down immediately before it slips away into the dark of the night and is lost forever.
It's not all I am.
I'm a wife. I'm British and married to an American. I'm separated from my wife by almost 4000 miles because of red tape, blue seas and green dollars.
I'm a nerd. I like maths, video games, online roleplaying and fantasy and sci-fi novels. I dream of stopping people being afraid of learning because they think they can't; I aspire to show them that they can - they just might do it in a different way than other people have told them is 'right.' There might be a right answer, but there isn't a right way to think.
I'm a dreamer. I look forward to the day that nobody cares that I'm married to another woman or that one or even both of us will be immigrants wherever we decide to stake out our lives or that our children have two mothers instead of one. I dream of the day when we can kiss in Russia or Israel or India without fear of being arrested. When we can do so in the UK or USA without fear of being beaten up or insulted. I dream of the day when "She just needs to find the right man" is no longer part of society's vocabulary.
But most of all, right now, I dream of the day I can stand in the same room as my wife again.
My name is CJ Krysztof and I am many things. I am also lost.