At 11:02AM on Tuesday, October 31, 1978, I hatched myself in a steam autoclave at St. Peter's Hospital in New Brunswick, NJ. Thank God the nurse saw me before she turned the sucker on. OK, I'm just kidding, but that'd make for one heck of a beginning to a horror movie, don't you think? Anyway, I feel no emotional attachment to my birthplace because my family and I moved to the Pittsburgh area when I was still an infant. Most of my childhood experiences were shaped by my time in Pittsburgh. I say "most" because my family and I moved again to Athens, GA when I was 16 years old, right when I was in the middle of high school. (Note to all parents: if you have a child in high school, try not to relocate to a different region of the country.)
After bumbling around for my first few years in Athens, the place began to grow on me, and I enrolled part-time at a local community college. Adam Carolla is right about community colleges; they're an academic black hole that you can never escape from unless you're either getting a nursing degree or you make the mother of all efforts to get out and move on. Since I was working part-time and taking classes part-time, I almost got pulled past the event horizon myself, having completed only about two years worth of credit in five years. Initially I was majoring in meteorology, but after looking at the classes required for a meteorology degree at various four-year universities, my hatred of calculus took over and I changed majors. A gentleman's 'C' in Calculus I wasn't going to get me into any meteorology program anyway. Plan B? Media and mass communications.
By the end of 2005, I was ready to transfer to Valdosta State University in Valdosta, GA. I had completed all the classes I needed to enroll in the Mass Media program, but my GPA was still a bit too low, so I took 12 hours of extraneous "core" classes during my first semester in Valdosta, and I impressed even myself when I made the Dean's List. After that, it took me four full-time semesters and one part-time summer semester to earn my Bachelor's of Fine Arts in Mass Media with an emphasis in Audio Production. Problem was, I graduated in 2008, just as the national economy was undergoing its worst collapse in 25 years.
Since graduating, I've done time as an ad salesman and a convenience store clerk, and I even got my foot in the door at the local radio conglomerate, but the promotions director didn't like me, so he found a reason to get rid of me. After that, I took the GRE to get into graduate school at the University of Georgia to earn a master's degree, and I took a few graduate-level classes during the summer of 2010, but I've since postponed the endeavor in order to get rid of all my undergraduate loan debt and save enough money to go back to graduate school without needing a loan. In short, I believe that debt really is slavery, and I will be a much happier and more flexible person without it. (I'm also beginning to believe that higher education is a racket, but that's a topic for another day.)
So now that you know the nitty-gritty of my fledgling existence, I should probably tell you about some of my hobbies and interests. Basically, if it has to do with sports (particularly football), popular music, travel, urban issues or the weather, then I'm all about it. A small part of me is forever stuck in the 1990's; I still have a Super Nintendo, and my favorite band is Nirvana. Life seemed much simpler then, but maybe that's the naivete of youth speaking. I've been to 34 different states in my lifetime, plus major international cities like Toronto, Montreal, Taipei, Hong Kong and Ho Chi Minh City. I guess you could say I have the wanderlust. I feel lucky regarding the positive experiences I've had in my life, but I feel unlucky in love. Maybe that'll change someday.
My peers used to call me "Mr. Encyclopedia" when I was in elementary school, and I've been known to drop random facts on people during a conversation. I suppose that automatically makes my social skills suspect since most people get bored with facts, but whatever. Those who do will tune me out eventually, while those who don't will probably enjoy my company. I've always been a bit awkward socially, but that hasn't stopped me from being extroverted or speaking my mind, and apparently it hasn't hardened me too much because most people who know me have said that I'm friendly.
I was hired for the ad salesman job because the owner of the business said I had "the gift of gab," and if this bio isn't proof of that, then I don't know what is. I look forward to sharing my gift of gab with you and everybody else on this website.
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