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This is my story of living with bipolar disorder, and basically the story of my messed up life. My name is Trisha and I am Bipolar. I started this blog with the thought that my story would be good therapy in helping myself and others better understand me and for how, or where or when, it raised its ugly head. This is something that I have to do for me mostly. I have tried to figure out what was wrong with me for so long. I have just wanted someone to hear me and to understand because I have no support from my family or my husband. Its invisable, therefore it doesnt exsist. But most of all, I want to feel I am not alone in this. I can try to be a normal person, but I will be probably be on medication for the rest of my life. I am a prisoner of my own mind. I just want to be in control of myself, if I ever was. So please, if you read my words, tell me what you think. Im not trying to be a book writer, or and expert at any specific issues or have a lot of knowledge. But I want to learn all I can. If not about Bipolor, about myself. So basically I need input. Those of you that read my words, and/or understand, is the help I need. So let me know that your listening please. Any advice you may have will be much appreciated. I just want to be able to understand it all, and try to heal so I can live and possibly be happy someday.
Living with Bipolar Disorder is never fun. During a Manic episode, it may seem your having fun, and doing things you want to do. Some people see Manic, as being uncontrolable and irresponsible. But its a disease with no cure, just controled. Depression is what usually follows when you realize what you did while your manic. You feel guilt for spending that money, or staying out all night partying. Also the guilt of possibly having sex with many different people looking for acceptance or approval from others. If you are Bipolar, I'm sure what I'm saying is what you have felt too. So when you read my story, put yourself in the story and see how much relates to you. It's crazy to me to think that I am this way because my brain dont work right. I believe somewhere along my life, the actions and results had a lot to do with it too.
Nobody wants to be mentally Ill. But guess what? It happens to the best of us. But some can just control it better then others. Some are stronger, or think they are then others. But whoever you are, where ever you are, in some way you have some type of mental illness. OCD, PTSD, anxiety, or depression. But you may be able to deal with it, and it not affect your everyday life. But with me, living with this affects everything. My actions affect everyone. And no matter how much medication I take, it still raises its ugly head every now and then, just not as often. So look around you, if you are lucky enough to be normal, 9 others are not. I hope with just that information, you can understand that not everyone is the same and we all have our secrets. This story is mine. Thank you and I hope you enjoy reading.