Houellebecq profile image


Joined 9 years ago from Newfoundland




I live on an island where beauty is having all of your teeth. I'm rather bitter and hate a lot of people but one day I'll be plowed down by a ford truck and instructed by an angel to change my ways within 24 hours.

I'll then get my own tv show on pbs, get minimal royalties, be mocked by every major newspaper, and hopefully coin a future internet meme (probably due to a bad grammar mistake or a boob popping out of my top inappropriately at a children's hospital opening).

Yeah, Life looks good.

I'm writing articles because I find that I have an untapped source of sarcasm that might explode and kill everyone within a two mile radius should it not be vented on a regular basis.

Ok, I sound like a jackass BUT you might enjoy watching a person like myself go into a downward spiral and ultimately end up like pee-wee herman.

Think to yourself...

was that a masturbation joke?

a poke at his outward appearance?

a jest at his non-existant career?

no. I'm going to take the high road here... that was a joke about being alone for the rest of my life.

I kid, I kid. Christ, you kids are uppity. After reading all of that and wasting a good minute of your time I'm going to be honest with you. I have a strange personality and a whacky imagination, a strange knack for making up bullshit on the spot. I thought "Hey! If fox news can make money for publishing bullshit, why can't I?"

... and here we are.

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