Joined 10 years ago from Louisiana...they're trying to wash us away!!!
"Find Your Way Back Home"
My name is Darlene. Some people in my family say that I'm crazy. But those who really know me, think that I simply know too much.
"Does that make me crazy?" I don't think so....just a little misunderstood, that's all.
Being a resident of New Orleans, I've had my share of storms throughout my life. However, a personal storm began for me on March 23, 2004. It was the day my daughter walked out of the door and pushed me completely out of her life.
Since that day, I have literally cried a hundred thousand tears. I've never grieved over anyone in my entire life, like I've grieved over my daughter. I would give anything to be able to take back everything I ever said or did, that made her despise the very sight of me.
But how does one change the past? We can only do the best we can minute by minute...day by day...hoping and praying for a brighter tomorrow.
For years, I heard people say that "time changes everything".For me, this is one statement that's been extremely hard to believe because,on the contrary "time has absolutely nothing to do with reconciliation". "That's Gods job darlin'!"
"Time out", however, is good for calming people down, when they're angry. But "long periods of time" simply make people drift farther and farther apart. Memories become lost inside the deepest parts of our minds, and life as we knew it, will certainly never be the same again.
Being a parent was never an easy job, and it certainly didn't come with a handbook full of instructions. But for me, it was the most delightfully rewarding experience of my entire life.
I felt a sense of pride inside being a "mom". Don't get me wrong! I see now that I made a lot of mistakes. But like most women, I had no prior experience.
However, there's one thing I know for certain. When God sent my little girl, I knew that an angel had just touched my heart and my life and I would never be the same.
From the moment I laid eyes on my little girl, I knew without a shadow of a doubt, that there was no other place, on the face of this earth, that I would rather be.
She was the best thing that had ever happened to me. I felt so blessed by God. And I promised myself that day, that I was going to be the best mom I possibly could be, and tried very hard to give her a good life.
All I could think to do,from that day on, was to protect her from this cruel world, with everything inside of me. Somehow, along the way, I messed up in my own personal life, and her home life, became a cruel world. My biggest mistake, was that I didn't teach her to protect herself. My second biggest mistake was that I didn't set her free to fly.
In doing so, I unknowingly became the most controlling and overprotective mom in history. I became so controlling, she finally ran away to protect herself from the mom who had nearly smothered her to death. I only wish I knew then, what I see so clearly now.
The truth is: I allowed the devil to destroy the relationship between me and my daughter. See, the Bible says "control is a spirit of witchcraft", and we should flee from such. Well, my daughter did what she had to do. She fled!
Now the time has come to heal, and healing is what I am trying to do, in more ways than one. I pray each day that wherever my daughter is, and whatever she is doing with her life, that somehow, she too, will heal. And prayerfully, one day, after the pain is gone, she will find it in her heart to forgive me, so that she and I might reconcile.
If you are reading this article, and you have been going through a similar situation with your son or daughter, I pray that God will heal you and your child and that one day very soon, the two of you will "find your way back home".
Copyright © 2019 HubPages Inc. and respective owners. Other product and company names shown may be trademarks of their respective owners. HubPages® is a registered Service Mark of HubPages, Inc. HubPages and Hubbers (authors) may earn revenue on this page based on affiliate relationships and advertisements with partners including Amazon, Google, and others.
HubPages Inc, a part of Maven Inc.
|HubPages Device ID||This is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.|
|Login||This is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.|
|HubPages Traffic Pixel||This is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.|
|Remarketing Pixels||We may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.|
|Conversion Tracking Pixels||We may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.|