Resident Weevil is merely a humble beetle from the Curculionoidea superfamily. Humble, yet awesome.
Don’t be put off by the oddly-shaped punctures on his thorax or the unsightly narrow strip running down his dorsal side. Deep inside, Resident Weevil is just like the rest of you. Only equipped with geniculated antennae and a slightly warped outlook on life. And please refrain from any extended discussion about sexual dimorphism. He does tend to be a bit sensitive on that subject.
When not ravenously destroying massive quantities of grain, seeds, and assorted grain by-products, Mr. Weevil aspires to write. This has been his dream since he was a soft, white, fleshy, legless grub. Unfortunately, a lack of opposable thumbs as well as a feeble mind best characterized as “obtuse and semi-literate” has stymied said dreams. He has learned to scribble, however. But only in crayon.
So scribble he does.
Resident Weevil extends you a welcoming mandible, and invites you to enjoy the multi-colored belches of his literary efforts. And he promises not to pillage your crops. Not today. Not while you’re looking.
(Any resemblance Resident Weevil bears to the similarly-named Resident Evil™ series of films, merchandise, and video games - solely owned by the fine folks at Nintendo Corp™, all rights reserved - is purely coincidental and should not be construed as a blatant attempt at trademark infringement.)