A nineteen year old girl with a toddler with cerebral palsy, and a new boyfriend with promises of a happy life. Ignoring the red flags made life more complicated than it already was.
The doctors dismissed my concerns throughout the first year of my baby's life. Cerebral Palsy was a term I had never heard before but here I was being told this was the reason my son was not developing properly. Who can a eightteen year old, single mother with a disabled baby turn to?
A pregnant teenager with no where to turn, I ask my mother to take me in after my boyfriend abandons me.
After another sleepless night due to nightmares caused from my recent, unwanted abortion, I decide to finally put an end to my pain. The end result was more pain and loneliness.
Pregnant and scared, I had loud, angry voices yelling at me from all angles. Unsure of what to do and who to listen to,up until the last few seconds I held on to the hope that my mother would wrap her arms around me and protect from the world I was drowning in.
Living with a strange family. I felt uncomfortable. I thought that no one loved me, except for my abusive boyfriend. During the Christmas break I felt alone because everyone made it clear that no one wanted to spend the holiday with me.
This is page four of 'That Was What Hurt Me The Most'. A broken, sad girl with no emotions left, I had almost given up but still clung to a thread, confident that my mother would find her heart and my father would break. I hoped.
This is page three of 'That Was What Hurt Me The Most'. This is when I started to believe that we had a chance at becoming a normal, happy family. That dream did not last long.
This is page two of 'That Was What Hurt Me The Most'. This story occurs around the time when I came to believe that my mother used me as an outlet for her anger. Through my eyes I saw a mother who went looking for any excuse to hand me over to my abusive father, then stand by and watch.