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5 Ways to Know You Have too Many Cats

Updated on August 8, 2017

How to Spot Cats. #54 the Himalayan

Annabelle chose her own name while watching House on Haunted Hill with Vincent Price.  She came with our last house.
Annabelle chose her own name while watching House on Haunted Hill with Vincent Price. She came with our last house. | Source
The Foot has too many toes on his front paws.  He also moved into the tree at my arcade and was rescued by one of my employees.
The Foot has too many toes on his front paws. He also moved into the tree at my arcade and was rescued by one of my employees. | Source
Her cat wandered up one winter and never left.  She used to be called Fang, but mellowed with age.
Her cat wandered up one winter and never left. She used to be called Fang, but mellowed with age. | Source
Minkus is my cat.  He takes naps with me.  He came in a load of tires at my dad's tire store.  I brought him home after a customer stomped him (by accident).
Minkus is my cat. He takes naps with me. He came in a load of tires at my dad's tire store. I brought him home after a customer stomped him (by accident). | Source
Minnie was Liz's first rescue.  She went to the pound to get some sort of dog, she came home with "Skinny Minnie," a pitiful, tiny ball of matted fur.  Now, well, she's awesome.
Minnie was Liz's first rescue. She went to the pound to get some sort of dog, she came home with "Skinny Minnie," a pitiful, tiny ball of matted fur. Now, well, she's awesome. | Source
Peter Gabriel was part of Liz's next find.  He's a fuzzy ball of fur.  He also came prenamed and he looks like an angry old man from the front.
Peter Gabriel was part of Liz's next find. He's a fuzzy ball of fur. He also came prenamed and he looks like an angry old man from the front. | Source
Rosie the Red Cat is a tiny love muffin.  All she wants to do is get petted and purr.  She, Peter, and Eddie all came home together.
Rosie the Red Cat is a tiny love muffin. All she wants to do is get petted and purr. She, Peter, and Eddie all came home together. | Source
Eddie's mug shot.  The underbite is making his name transmogrify into Mongo.  We didn't really want another cat, but they'd labed him a "biter" and we were afraid he'd never find a home.  He barely bites his food, let alone anything else.
Eddie's mug shot. The underbite is making his name transmogrify into Mongo. We didn't really want another cat, but they'd labed him a "biter" and we were afraid he'd never find a home. He barely bites his food, let alone anything else.
Sydney Vicious is Liz's baby.  She's the only kitten we've ever gotten from the pound.  The others we got as grown cats or they wandered up.  Sydney is indeed Vicious.
Sydney Vicious is Liz's baby. She's the only kitten we've ever gotten from the pound. The others we got as grown cats or they wandered up. Sydney is indeed Vicious. | Source

Does your vet drive a Lamborghini?

Some people seem to think that cats are some sort of dog that's really good at climbing things; they're not. They're aliens from another galaxy come to enslave the world. But they're quite engaging and cute. Except, of course, when they're sinking their claws into your jugular and eating your cheeseburgers.

If you're some sort of dog-centric person, you probably ought to stop reading now. This'll be like Sanskrit, I think. Maybe not. You may be able to use it during your intervention with your crazy cat-person neighbor. They don't have friends, I know; they only have cats.

1) You have so many cats you can't name them all. Ok, we have Peter, and Eddie, and Annabelle, and Minkus, and the Her Cat, and Rosie, the Red Cat, and Foot, the Polydactic, and Minnie, the Giant, and um, let's look around, who am I missing, ummmm, yeah. Oh, Sydney Vicious, known as The Squid (her Mafia name), who's the baby and quite, well, vicious.

2) You have litter boxes in multiple rooms. This can also have social consequences: sure, we can have a dinner party. Let's move all the litter boxes out of the kitchen and into, um, the living room? You also begin to think of cleaning the litterboxes in terms of how many pounds of filth you remove daily.

3) While looking at your long-haired cats, you begin to wonder if you can harvest their fur. My wife knits and crochets, she spins, she's just generally crafty. When she starts spinning wool, I look at it and go, hmm, those two Himalayans we've got...they've got long-stapel wool in attractive creamy colors. They would make nice socks.

4) Rugs and carpets become a necessity in your home with antique, thoroughly refinished, oak floors. Without rugs, the hair floats everywhere uncontained. It takes two Dysons to control the crazyness. Each carpet takes more than one dumping of the cannister to complete the cleaning. Once again, you stare at the hair and think, hmm, we could card and spin this stuff.

5) It becomes difficult to do anything. You sit down, cats come to you. You walk into a room, cats follow you. You try to write a new hub and cats try and help. However, Rosie's typing of "011100111110" made no sense to me. I don't read cat translated into binary.

Now don't get me wrong, I love our cats. They are our children. We didn't go out and say to some breeder, "Cats, give me a cord or bushel or whatever measure of cats is the largest." Most of them wandered up and adopted us. Then we rescued our super fuzzy brand-name cats. Designer cats are rather fun, but they do come with built in problems. It's like keeping a tiny group of Hapsburgs in your house; yes, they are royalty, but they're so inbred that they're their own fathers and mothers. It is like parthenogenetic breeding.

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    • d.william profile image

      d.william 5 years ago from Somewhere in the south

      cute hub and comical. The most i had at one time was 7, (along with 4 dogs) and believe it or not, i remembered all their names. I only have one old female cat left and when she is gone, i will start to travel for amusement instead of entertain cats.

    • Stephanie Henkel profile image

      Stephanie Henkel 5 years ago from USA

      Very funny and enjoyable Hub! I'm a cat person, too, and I love the pictures of your furkids! I'm down to one cat right now, Gemini, but he does demand a lot of pampering and attention. In fact, he just walked across my keyboard on his way to his favorite sleeping spot.

    • DougBerry profile image
      Author

      DougBerry 5 years ago from Abilene, TX

      She drives an Infinity of some sort. I'm used to our old vets, one of which started his practice in the 50s, charging $50 or less for a visit. This whole $200+ per visit is getting pretty crazy.

    • your cybersister profile image

      your cybersister 5 years ago from Just relocated from Florida to the mountains of North Carolina

      Enjoyed your hub immensely. I currently have only one cat, Snoop, who was given to one of my teenage sons in exchange for a ride home from work! He alone generates enough fur that I have wondered if there wasn't some use for it - stuffing pillows, perhaps? He mostly pays attention to me in the bathtub and when I use the computer - he wants to walk all over the keyboard.

      So, what does your vet drive?

    • DougBerry profile image
      Author

      DougBerry 5 years ago from Abilene, TX

      Nah, I'm just more of an all-around jerk.

    • profile image

      brittneyandtrent 5 years ago

      Oh, I don't have any cats. And I didn't know you were the grammar police. Boom!

    • DougBerry profile image
      Author

      DougBerry 5 years ago from Abilene, TX

      You better learn about capitalization and punctuation. Your cats can tell you about it.

    • profile image

      brittneyandtrent 5 years ago

      i love pussy...cats that is!!! you better publish this.

    • DougBerry profile image
      Author

      DougBerry 5 years ago from Abilene, TX

      Oh, I've always found it hard to keep myself out of my writing. I've been doing some technical writing for work and I probably spend half my time editing myself out of it. It's a good thing I type fast.

    • ChasingAutumn profile image

      ChasingAutumn 5 years ago from Machesney Park, Illinois

      This was great! It took a minute to realize you were talking about yourself in the beginning and not just making up random cat names. Love all the pictures as well.

    • nicomp profile image

      nicomp really 5 years ago from Ohio, USA

      That's a hub topic.

    • DougBerry profile image
      Author

      DougBerry 5 years ago from Abilene, TX

      Well, the Internet is made of cats.

    • nicomp profile image

      nicomp really 5 years ago from Ohio, USA

      A great read. The Internet can never have too many cat pictures.

    • Jan Caine profile image

      Jan Caine 5 years ago from Aberdeenshire, Scotland

      Loved your post especially as we had 13 cats many moons ago.... I used to foster for the Cat Protection League. Every tabby would be fostered by us! Weo only have 3 cats now. But... Are waiting for a Savannah Bengal kitten to be born. A Christmas present to ourselves :)

    • Peggy W profile image

      Peggy Woods 5 years ago from Houston, Texas

      This was funny to read. We only have two cats and it is amazing how they both take turns in front of the computer "helping" us do our work. Haha! Right now the desk is clear. We tired them out today by taking down all of the Christmas decorations and because they wanted to supervise our activities, they missed their normal nap times. Up and funny votes.

    • tlmcgaa70 profile image

      tlmcgaa70 5 years ago from south dakota, usa

      loved this!...i have been rescuing cats for nearly 12 yrs now. we have a total of 17 cats atm.

      Convict, Khalia, ToyBaby (A.K.A. Osama Bin ToyBaby), Wolfie Boy, Nala, Balou, Patches, Alvin, Simon, Theodore, Tigger, Munchy Munchkins, Stucky, Wooley Baby, BooBaby, Pixie and Cricket.

      it is funny you mention considering using their fur like wool, lol, as i have thought the same thing. i keep my keyboard propped against the wall to keep accidents from happening and they always know when i am busy on the puter and insist it is time for snuggles instead. thankfully i don't have all 17 in the house with me. we have an old trailer we moved out of a year and a half ago and we set that up as a kitty house.

      whoever said kitties were aloof and unsocial never had a cat. i am totally hooked on cats and must now force myself to look the other way when i see an abandoned cat, and that is a painful thing to do, but i really can't afford any more.

    • Meisjunk profile image

      Jennifer Kessner 5 years ago from Pennsylvania

      Cute and funny! Voted up. ^_^ I'm a cat person myself. I only have one cat, but we recently have been cat-sitting for almost two months, and it gets me to wondering... xD

    • DougBerry profile image
      Author

      DougBerry 5 years ago from Abilene, TX

      Well, they like us in different places. Right now Sydney is lying on top of me, which is rather weird, she's Liz's baby. Generally she only loves us in the bathroom or bedroom.

      Our Persians and Himalayans love us anywhere. Annabelle, since she was an outdoor cat who came with our last house and just moved in one day, takes us on her own terms. Generally they're spread throughout the house doing their own thing until they hear us in the kitchen. Then they all show up to tell us how horrible we are and how they've got KPS (Kitty Protective Services) on speed dial.

    • Melissa McClain profile image

      Melissa McClain 5 years ago from Atlanta, GA

      Cute! When the cats themselves start submitting hubs then we'll know you're in trouble. ;)

    • CASE1WORKER profile image

      CASE1WORKER 5 years ago from UNITED KINGDOM

      I don't know how you manage- two is enough- how on earth do you organise lap time? A rota?

    • profile image

      Liz 5 years ago

      We do try to keep them in an array of colors. :-)

    • alocsin profile image

      alocsin 5 years ago from Orange County, CA

      Having them with different markings helps with IDs. Voting this Up and Funny.