A Cat Scratching Pad is Not a Position of Respect

Toward the last of this hub, I used a brand-name to add more editorial punch to my thought. The brand was Coca Cola, but I do NOT endorse, promote, or urge people to buy the soda.

Thanks, Kenneth

and not lean on a WikiPedia page. Time was, I confess that I have used “that” source of information. Yes, I am walking out of my “Penship Prison,” more like a birdcage, and just walk out free as, you guessed it, a bird. Right now, I am excited at another opportunity in life that I have passed over many times and never thought to ask what it was. I confess that I was after the bigger hub-fodder that might give me some fortune and fame. But with my personal financial state, I would settle for the fortune.

I do not like to boast, but it feels so great at not having to depend on others to help you with research with does involve locating the “Five W’s”: Who: is the article about? What: does it do or not do? When: does it perform and at what time? Where: is the location of the subject of this piece and Why: am I writing about this subject to begin with? And if I can provide sensible answers to all five of my “W’s” then I have a good chance of producing a believable hub that everyone should enjoy.

So how does that effect today’s topic: the Cat Scratching Pole? Great question. Think I should confide in Confucius, the Great Philosopher, and get his intake about a cat scratching pole. But what if he has never heard of such? And what if when I do get to talk to him and then lay my question on the table and falls-over with gales of uncontrollable laughter? Think that I will just leave him alone.

and how is it used? I know the answer, a cat. An everyday, common household cat. A tabby named “Tilly,” who loves me. So Mr. Confucius will not have to be called in on this one. But with all gest now gone, I can tell you that I have never owned a cat scratching pad. Back in my younger days when I raised two gorgeous cats, they did not require a scratching pad. They just used one of the legs on our Oak dining room table. My mom would scold them and they would tear-out as fast a speeding bullet.

No. I think that in my days of teenage times, the 1970’s had not yet discovered the cat scratching pad. Seriously. I know that (a) year has to exist when some highly-intelligent had the idea about a cat scratching pole/post and began designing the product and with a lot of trial, error, and testing, wa,la! There he had it . . .a cat scratching post/pole. It was soon the rage of every cat owner (and those who leased cats) in our country. Then I can safely-assume that the cat scratching post reached tremendous success in England, Italy and France, where there are a lot of cat owners in these nations.

And now that we have discussed (the little that I know) about cat scratch posts, but now I want to present the subject behind the subject of the cat scratching pole and there is no easy, cushy way to say this but . . . a Cat Scratching Pad is Not a Position of Respect. It pains me as well as breaks my mortal heart to face this truth about the poor, pitiful cat scratching post, or pole, but someone had to write about it. Why not me? So as you read about the cat scratching pole, please know that I am infusing as much sympathy as possible in every idea and phrase, so you cannot say that Ken Avery is a heartless crumb who despises cat scratch poles!

would occupy such as place that is thought of as “just” that thing that keeps our pedigreed cat, an Egyptian Mink, that ran us over $5,000.00. When “Toro,” our lovely cat detects that its claws need clipping, nature designed the nature of a cat that if he should be able to find a semi-rough surface, then the cat can easily trim its claws in nothing flat.

• If you really think about it, is there anything besides a cat scratching pole that this clever invention cold be but a device that lures cats to claw the fire out it? Can you see a cat scratch pole as being used as a small bush in a Middle School Play? With a little green pieces of paper, it would easily pass for a young lad’s favorite tree where he would spend hours just meditating about “Dolly,” his girlfriend in the village. Sorry, cat scratching post, we are seeking objects with a little more talent. Next!
• Have you ever thought of why other animals besides cats ever dare to venture to where this awkward cat scratch pole is located just to trim its hooves. I am referring to of course, as a horse. But we all know that a 3000-pound horse named, “Billy,” could not enter any house no matter how long his hooves have grown. So nothing but cats are to use a cat scratching pole.
• About the only thing that comes to mind about “what” a cat scratch pole might be instead of this object that only cats could love? Now think about it. The cat scratch pole could also serve as an outdoor lawn game where a few colorful plastic rings are given to the children or adults, depending on who wants to play, and teams are chosen and each team throws their rings and which team scores the most points wins. This is actually the evolution of Horse Shoes, but with rings. The name of the game will pose a problem. “Cat Toss,” “Ring-O-Cat,” “Cat Rings,” are three that could work.
• If four cat scratch posts are used, they can be used as end-zone markers to show when a Backyard Football Player gets to score only if he runs or falls past the cat scratch post. I am not going to guess what names these new uses that could be used as cat scratch poles. Okay. Just one. “Endzone Feline,” sounds good. But is able to be changed.
• I do not know, and I looked if rocker, Ted Nugget, invented the cat scratch pole, and no, he did not. Nugget was responsible for the “Monster Hit,” “Cat Scratch Fever.” Do not start with the conspiracy theories.
• Are you a frequent movie goer? Sure, you are. And you have watched most every hit film to come down the pike, but I bet that you never spied any cat scratch posts in the background of any scene on “Forrest Gump,” released in 1994. But I wonder if Hanks would do another “F. Gump II,” and show (a) cat scratch post in the home where his mom lived? With his wife, “Jenny,” now in Heaven, “Gump,” adopts a tab cat and named it, “Bubba,” and the two would sit around with “Gump” drinking Dr Pepper in the bottle and “Bubba” loving the new cat scratch pole. See? Everything works if you connect the dots.
• Time to get really serious. A cat scratch post will never be arrested for peddling illegal drugs.
• A cat scratch pole will never be used as fish bait in order to catch big mouth bass.
• A cat scratch pole will never be a member of Hell’s Angels.

• And a cat scratch pole will never be arrested for loitering at midnight on some dark street in Phoenix.

these are just a few of the things that a Cat Scratching Post/Pole will never be. The Cat Scratch Pad/Pole, will always be what it is .. .a Cat Scratch Pad/Pole/Post. And in that one insignificant statement, I feel a lot of agony in that remark.

September 4, 2019____________________________________________________