A Loveletter to my Cat

I just do. Even if I am out doing something really very fun, I look forward to going home and seeing my "Little Gray Kitty." Hearing your little chipper meow while you stare in my eyes persistently and reach for me with your claw, is the highlight of my day.

We named you "Little Gray Kitty" because there was no need to extrapolate or characterize: you really are the perfect "Little Gray Kitty" and no other label would do!

Oh but I love you so much L.G.K. We call you L.G.K. simply because you are gray.

You give me a reason to love you: you love without reason.

You can not read English, but you can read the best in my heart. In fact, that makes you far more literate than any specimen of humanity. I have yet to see a human individual perceive pure goodness in the face of malice, in the special way that you do.

You make us laugh: you wiggle your butt before you are ready to pounce on your target. And by the way, your target is generally the corner of a room, a chewed-up plastic straw, or another cat's tail.

Oh, how I love you Little Gray Kitty!

L.G.K. I just wanted to thank you for not being a source of anxiety and frustration for me. I could love you just for that alone.

In fact, when I am tired and tense, all I have to do is walk over to your cute little cat condo and hear you go "me-or-rit" and you put an instant smile on my face.

You make me happy.

Unlike the people in my life who profess to love me but slowly kill me with their hateful and selfish agendas, you actually love me.

Yet you don't expect anything back, except for clean water, a scooped litterbox, kibble and an occasional can of wet food.

By contrast THEY expect everything reciprocated two-fold, except of course, for a scooped litterbox, kibble and an occasional can of wet food.

They'll take a pass on that.

When you really want to be let out of your condo, you make this meow that sounds like "aw mayn!"

And then you make this "oh" or more like "aoh" sound. Then it is "oh man" again.

You sound so defeated! Kind of like a kid whose parents just denied him permission to go to his friend's house and eat pizza.

I don't blame you. I would not want to be trapped in a box while people and cats do fun stuff.

We have to put you in a special kitty-condo because of your tendency to eat plastic and chew electrical cords. This gives me great pity because of all of our animals, you are the one who appreciates and explores every square millimeter of this house. It is like you are proud of every last detail, including the scraps of paper that blow into the corners of rooms.

Yet unlike the dogs you don't seek to posses it, dominate it or claim it as yours. You simply appreciate it for what it is, which is a house full of interesting goodies for a cat to explore.

But you have a "penchant for plastic." Therefore we got you a special little place that I decorated with carpets and blankets, a feeder, drinker, litterbox and ledge, so that you would not get an intestinal blockage by eating plastic. I attached two boards and four wheels and I scoot it around the living room so that you can get different views of things.

But I feel so selfish. I worry that if I really loved you, I would set you free to explore and be yourself, chatter with and chase our other cats.

So my love for you is imprisoning you. This makes me feel very sad but the thought of you killing yourself accidentally is too much to bear. Can I justify my own selfishness by saying that it is for your own protection?

If I could clean the house enough to make every last piece of plastic, rubber band and electrical cord inaccessible to you I would. But no matter what I do, you still find something dangerous to chew.

So whenever we are home and can watch over you, we let you out.

All you have to do is look at us, meow and say "aw Mayn!"

And I promise, I will stop calling it a "kennel" because it is indeed YOUR condo.

We have a kitty backpack for you. When we take the dogs on hikes, we put you in that backpack. It has three sides of mesh windows.

My husband carries you and I walk behind him with the dogs and watch you look out your "bay windows" at the natural environment on the trail.

You are pinned down by your harness and I watch you like a hawk because one swipe with those claws of yours and your window is torn and you can jump out into "Coyotestan." The bag has a leash with a hook and you are safe.

But Little Gray Kitty, you have never once shown any sign of stress or distress on our hikes, despite being a cat, in a bag, outdoors, with four dogs in tow.

Instead I see your little nose sniffing the air and you changing position so that you can see out of all of your windows trotting along on my husband's back.

You even growled at the dogs once for acting too wild and running around like crazy canines! We heard this "hmmmmmm" from you and realized that you were not happy with them.

You rarely growl or hiss.

Your growl is more of a high-pitched "hmmmmm" sound.

Your hiss sounds more like a "kkkkkk" -- the sound of a small plastic wheel-gear being cranked against a metal lip --- it is so weakly defined that it is hardly even there. Or shall I say, a creaking sound. Nothing like the sound that most cats make when they are upset.

Your hiss and growl are so poorly developed because you don't quite get the idea of "dislike."

I don't ever want you to find out. You are precious the way you are.

When you are hissed at by the other cats, you shut your eyes halfway and put your ears back and it looks like you are facing a 70 mile/hour gust of wind.

For all I know, you probably think that another cat's his IS a mere gust of wind because you have no concept of "dislike."

L.G.K. this is why you are so special to me and I have never had a cat like you and I don't think I ever will again.

When I saw you on our front lawn, husslin' for a home, I started to pet you and you were so affectionate I thought "this kitty would get along with our other three .... let's put him to the test."

Oh but you were adorable. Medium length gray fluffy hair. White bottom markings. An adorable pink nose. Paws with mismatched gray and pink pads and tufted bottoms. A huge fluffy tail, like that of a squirrel.

So adorable that you could stop traffic. But I was worried that you wouldn't, in fact, stop traffic ... if you know what I mean.

Your little pink nose had two crusty lines of black sooty snot coming out of it, on a white background.

So I brought you in. For the first half-hour, your sight was on the front door, and your mind asked "how do I get this open?" Once you were fed, pet, and put on a comfortable couch, you began to see that life was indeed better on this side of the door.

Oh! and how you appreciated your food.

Like all of my other foundlings you were resented and hissed at, at first.

All you did was curl up into a ball in the corner when the hisses came your way.

You ate non-stop. We began to use our cat feeder for you. You know ... that one with the big canister and tray, that does nothing but dispense food all day.

At first, you were possessive about your wet food, in a way that only stray cats can be. But when the other cats began to see you eating wetfood, they realized that you weren't such a bad guy after all, and they joined you in your meal time. Your new brothers and sister realized that when they ate around you, they got ALL YOU CAN EAT wet food.

L.G.K. you WERE indeed a magic kitty. Magical for the other cats, because you brought a bottomless can of wetfood with you ... magical for me, because of the way you went "hmmm, myam myam myam" when you ate it.

Soon you were friends. Abdu was extremely rude to you, for several months after. Don't worry, he's rude to everybody and he also pees in laundry baskets just to make some kind of political statement.

Boo!

But Peter and Sarah started playing with you after about three days, and it was as if you had always been here!

I was cleaning the crusty, sooty, black snot out of your tender pink nose for weeks! Although I kept you inside, your lungs kept ejecting some sort of pollution through your nostrils. That is how filthy your lungs were.

I looked for your owner by knocking on the neighbors' doors, asking if they were missing a cat. I was already brokenhearted at the thought of giving you back to somebody who didn't even care enough about you to keep you away from the filthy and dangerous places you were spending your time, as evidenced by the state of your lungs.

Nobody came forward to claim you.

Gray, you are no common alley cat. But you sure were treated like one.

Now-a-days you let the other cats come into your condo and sit on your ledge and eat your snacks and drink your water and even use your toilet without flushing!

You love the other cats. They love you too.

But you do. Instead of running off like most other kitties do, you allow me pet you because you know it helps me feel better.

I then tell you "L.G.K. you are a one-time deal. I will never ever find another cat like you."

When you see I am upset, you don't leave my side.

I have never had a person in my life treat me with such kindness as you have.

And you are a cat.

Do you also love me?

I hope so. I hope that your kindness toward me is what they call "love."

Do I give you the feeling that you are the most special kitty in the world?

I hope I do ... because to me, you will always be the most special kitty in the world.

Yours truly,

Anne