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A Mouse In The House (and 3 cats who couldn't care less)

Updated on January 26, 2015
Sallie Mullinger profile image

Sallie is a retired mother and grandmother who has written short stories for most of her life. Her stories are from her heart to yours.

Worthless cat
Worthless cat

Woodland creatures belong in the woods...not in my house!

Not the way the afternoon was supposed to go........

We have a mouse on the loose in our house.

I have 3 worthless cats, who, at this point, are being threatened with eviction.

Two of them were sound asleep during what can only be described as screams from hell worthy of the movie the Exorcist. They were oblivious to the hysteria coming from my daughter, Shannon and myself.

Shadow, the 3rd cat and the onlyone who can even come remotely close to earning the title of "mouser" has twice had the interloper in his mouth and twice succeeded in letting it go. Each time that mouse ran thru the house, Shannon and I screamed like banshees and Im pretty sure there was peeing involved.

Don't judge.

With a total look of exasperation at the femaleness of two women, screaming their heads off, Shadow, patiently began again to hunt down, trap and capture the offensive and unwelcomed guest.

After a brief quiet spell, with Shannon refusing to go back into her room where the offending mouse was last seen, it would seem that either the varmint is well hidden or dead from being carted around in Shadow's mouth twice.

Note to self: look up on the internet how long before you start smelling a dead mouse in your house.

Things had settled down and I began to convince myself that the mouse had somehow escaped thru whatever hole he had crawled out from, when I went into the guest room and saw the furry creature scurry across the baseboard.

Who knew that they could run so fast?

I screamed holy hell and ran for my life (Oh! The drama!) I called for Shannon to come and help me (yes Im that much of a chicken) but she wasn't budging from her place in the living room where I guess she thinks shes safe. I mustered up enough GUTS to go back to the guest room and check out the furry thing hiding behind the sleeper sofa.

Armed with a broom and absolutely no idea of what I might do with that broom, I marched into the guest room ready to do battle. I had no game plan but it was me vs the mouse and the mouse wasn't going to win.

I think at this point, looking back, I must admit that my reaction to this invasion, was a bit over the top. (ya think?) After all, we arent talking RAT here! We are talking mouse, mole, field mouse, vole etc. and the size is decidedly small enough that a human being of my height should be able to handle the capture and ultimate removal of said un-welcomed guest.

But this isn't Mickey Mouse or Mighty Mouse or Speedy Gonzalez and it sure as heck isn't even that cute little Stuart Little....this is a dirty varmint who has invaded my house and it has UGH! a tail!

Much in the same way a man shakes his head in disbelief that any woman could be this cowed by a tiny creature like a mouse, Shadow, the big boy cat, gave me a look of utter disgust and proceeded to bathe himself as I was bravely trying to find Topo Gigio.

Cats are notorious for doing exactly what THEY want, WHEN they want and it matters not that a mouse is loose in the house and that Im ready to check into a hotel.

A few hours passed.

We are at a stalemate now. Cats are all up and wandering around the house. They seem oblivious to the fact that a few short hours ago, I was a shaking mess of hormonal screeching. Its feeding time at the zoo and they have short memories.

Shadow is still stalking. Its funny how in the summer he can hold onto those varmints for what seems like forever and toss them up in the air and catch them and toss them again and now he can't seem to manage to find, let alone hold onto one itty, bitty, teensy, weensie mouse who has scared the crap out of Shannon and Sallie.

I am aware that the collective yelling and screaming from Shannon and myself was probably more than he could handle or wanted to handle. Typical male. Why bother with a stupid mouse when his ears are being assaulted and his quiet afternoon has been disrupted?

At this point..the score seems to be in the mouse's favor.

Mouse 1
Sallie 0

Ill have to remedy that. But Im no hero. The Orkin guy is coming tomorrow to conquer the beast.

Note to Shadow: This is the way its supposed to be done!
Note to Shadow: This is the way its supposed to be done!


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    • Sallie Mullinger profile image

      Sallie Mullinger 3 years ago from Ohio

      Thank you, Dennis! It is my hope to have the reader do exactly what you described!

    • profile image

      Dennis 3 years ago

      Your delightful way with words and your story telling skills made me feel as though I had actually been there!

    • Sallie Mullinger profile image

      Sallie Mullinger 3 years ago from Ohio should have been on video!

    • profile image

      Joan Fryman 3 years ago

      Very funny, Sallie!!! Your written words allowed me to visualize it as a cartoon in my mind. Thanks for providing me with some laughter!!!