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Cow with a Horizontal Udder
Once again, the resourceful American farmer has found an ever better way to bring dairy to our dinner tables! Take a peek at the recently bred cow with a horizontal udder.
Raised by Amish Mennonite Farmer Elihu Flax of Ulster Township, Pennsylvania — after 12 generations of careful breeding — this fine milker, named ‘Flat Flo’, has uniquely oriented mammary glands that project horizontally to Flo’s rear, with teats extended outward in a ‘ready-to-spray’ array. Such an udder eases hardship on the dairy farmer; no more crouching on a stool with a good chance of getting kicked; simply stand upright to the rear and side of the cow!
For even greater efficiency, milking machines can be simply suspended behind the cow, with easy access for attaching milking cups. Farmer Flax has even experimented with a high-volume ‘radial milker’, in which eight such cows back up to a cleverly contrived cylindrical array of milk receiver funnels, then proceed to spray from all teats until the milker is filled!
The same cow gene that encodes for a horizontal udder also gives this dairy cow its distinctive horizontal and vertical lines, as well as its perfectly circular spotting and nostrils, and its cute fan-shaped tail tassel held upright.
[Editor’s Note: In the distance, one can also glimpse another of Elihu Flax’s fabulous farm improvements, GeoGraze: a nutritionally saturated grass that grows geometrically and precisely to the lengths required for great gourmet grazing!]
Elihu works his 173 acres of richly valley slope, just above the Susquehanna River.