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The White Man With His Pants Down

Updated on April 30, 2013

Dad Dances With a Lizard

When my Mom and Dad were still living in Africa where they were Baptist missionaries, many funny things happened to them. Dad had a tango with a large lizard one day. He was standing under a big tree in a parking lot, when something fell on the back of his head and neck. Immediately he knew it wasn't a good thing! He felt something scratching and when he reached up to brush whatever-it-was off, the thing found enough space between his neck and shirt collar to go down into his shirt. As Dad jumped around and tried to grab through his shirt at the thing, he realized it must be a lizard. The more Dad tried to get the lizard, the more the lizard thrashed around and scratched Dad's back. Pretty soon the lizard ran around to Dad's stomach area and Dad continued to jump, swat, yell, grab, holler and anything else he could think of to get the thing out.

Well, Dad thought he had a good idea that would help free the lizard from his shirt. He thought "if I unbuckle my pants and pull my shirt tail out, the lizard will be free to get out of my shirt or at the very least, I'll be able to reach up under my shirt and get him out".

Things didn't go as planned. When Dad unbuckled his pants and unbuttoned them, the lizard thought it might be nice to take a tour down south. Yep, the lizard went down his pants. Soon Dad was grabbing at his crotch, hitting his leg, doing anything he could to get ahold of Mr. Lizard. He finally had to pull his pants down to free the lizard. As soon as he dropped his pants, the lizard ran free, but Dad lost his balance and fell over. There he lay, in the parking lot, with his pants around his ankle. He said that the people passing by got quite a show: "The Crazy White Man Laying in the Parking Lot With His Pants Down".

More funny stories from Africa as my memory kicks in.


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    • debbiepinkston profile image

      Debbie Pinkston 4 years ago from Pereira, Colombia and NW Arkansas

      Smart to know those tricks to keep lizards where they belong!

    • Levertis Steele profile image

      Levertis Steele 4 years ago from Southern Clime

      I see lizards often, especially during the warm months and love them as long as they do not invade my space. They do not cause me worry until one get inside of the house. I have learned not to bring potted plants inside too late when trying to protect the plants from the cold. Lizards often hibernate in the potting soil. When they feel the house's warmth, they come out of hibernation inside of the house! Now that I have stopped bringing plants inside, the lizards and I have become distant friends again.

    • debbiepinkston profile image

      Debbie Pinkston 4 years ago from Pereira, Colombia and NW Arkansas

      Linda, yes my Dad is a good sport, and he often laughs at himself now as he remembers so many unusual experiences from Africa!

    • Linda Compton profile image

      Linda Compton 4 years ago from The Land of Enchantment

      Debbie, this is a great story. And laughter is good for the soul. We have Collared Lizards here in New Mexico and they are in the Iguana family. They are stunning in their beauty and I love watching them and photographing them...but I think they would be as chagrined as I, were they to find themselves in my britches! Thanks for the romp! Your Dad sounds like a really good sport! L.

    • debbiepinkston profile image

      Debbie Pinkston 5 years ago from Pereira, Colombia and NW Arkansas

      Yes my Dad was very embarrassed, but he has a wonderful capacity to laugh at himself! He has had to laugh at himself quite a few times!

    • aviannovice profile image

      Deb Hirt 5 years ago from Stillwater, OK

      Awesome and up! What a riot, but your poor dad must have been so embarrassed. Hopefully, he will never see those people again!

    • debbiepinkston profile image

      Debbie Pinkston 5 years ago from Pereira, Colombia and NW Arkansas

      Yes it was, and he has so many other funny stories from his years in Africa. I wish he would write a book!

    • jellygator profile image

      jellygator 5 years ago from USA

      I bet that was quite a scene!

    • TheHoleStory profile image

      TheHoleStory 5 years ago from Parsons, West Virginia

      That was a very funny story Debbie about how your Dad escaped the grasp of the lizard. I bet it was a thousand times funnier being there in person, and witnessing this whole event. That is except for your father who I'm sure didn't find much humor in it, and probably still doesn't. I'm glad I inspired you to write this story, and I'm looking forward to more of your funny stories from Africa as your memory kicks in!