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The White Man With His Pants Down

Updated on April 30, 2013

Dad Dances With a Lizard

When my Mom and Dad were still living in Africa where they were Baptist missionaries, many funny things happened to them. Dad had a tango with a large lizard one day. He was standing under a big tree in a parking lot, when something fell on the back of his head and neck. Immediately he knew it wasn't a good thing! He felt something scratching and when he reached up to brush whatever-it-was off, the thing found enough space between his neck and shirt collar to go down into his shirt. As Dad jumped around and tried to grab through his shirt at the thing, he realized it must be a lizard. The more Dad tried to get the lizard, the more the lizard thrashed around and scratched Dad's back. Pretty soon the lizard ran around to Dad's stomach area and Dad continued to jump, swat, yell, grab, holler and anything else he could think of to get the thing out.

Well, Dad thought he had a good idea that would help free the lizard from his shirt. He thought "if I unbuckle my pants and pull my shirt tail out, the lizard will be free to get out of my shirt or at the very least, I'll be able to reach up under my shirt and get him out".

Things didn't go as planned. When Dad unbuckled his pants and unbuttoned them, the lizard thought it might be nice to take a tour down south. Yep, the lizard went down his pants. Soon Dad was grabbing at his crotch, hitting his leg, doing anything he could to get ahold of Mr. Lizard. He finally had to pull his pants down to free the lizard. As soon as he dropped his pants, the lizard ran free, but Dad lost his balance and fell over. There he lay, in the parking lot, with his pants around his ankle. He said that the people passing by got quite a show: "The Crazy White Man Laying in the Parking Lot With His Pants Down".

More funny stories from Africa as my memory kicks in.



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